Do Men Dislike Wit in a Woman?

[Norsemaiden]

Apparently most men like women to laugh at their jokes but not to be funny themselves. This seems to be because men use humour to impress women and feel competitive about this skill. Perhaps if the woman seems to be "better" at it, then he feels inadequate. But not all men are like that. There are some who would choose a funny woman over a non-witty one, if neither was otherwise any better in other respects. Thoughts?

 

[Nele]

I think most men like wit only in women who are not their girlfriends. That seems to be the case with many of my friends. I don't get it though. Many men seem to be attracted to a certain women because they're funny, but when they start a relationship, it's as if they suddenly don't like the wit anymore.

 

[Norsemaiden]

I think most men like wit only in women who are not their girlfriends. That seems to be the case with many of my friends. I don't get it though. Many men seem to be attracted to a certain women because they're funny, but when they start a relationship, it's as if they suddenly don't like the wit anymore.

Do you think it's at all comparable to, say, if a man is attracted to a woman because she wears clothes that display her assets, but once they start a relationship, they'd prefer her to cover up more in public? (However, that would mean that they still enjoy it in a more private situation.)

 

[Nele]

Do you think it's at all comparable to, say, if a man is attracted to a woman because she wears clothes that display her assets, but once they start a relationship, they'd prefer her to cover up more in public? (However, that would mean that they still enjoy it in a more private situation.)

Probably, yes.. I've never looked at it that way. Men probably don't like their lifepartners to get too much attention from the opposite sex.

I still wonder how wit in a woman is appreciated in her professional life? Since I'm only a student, I've got no experience in that area... (Well, I do work in a restaurant, but there in a way I'm payed for being funny and having clever light conversations with the customers. So I guess my boss doesn't have a problem with witty women )

 

[derek]

Wit is fine, either before a relationship situation or during. Revealing clothes are a suitable analogy, and again the same answer applies.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but it's not really much of a problem to my mind. Depends on the psychology of the participating male, but I suppose what you've said applies aptly to the "normal" western man.

 

[speed]

I love wit in women. I love laughter and sillyness in women too. Honestly, I dont care for women who are not funny or witty.

 

[JoeVice]

i think laughing is the more "receptive" side of humor. personally, i enjoy a woman who seems to not laugh at the joke, but laughs at me for being such an idiot. to me, thats a female-appropriate role for displaying wit.

it seems to me there is a flat out black and white difference between a real humor, and "staged" humor. there is no criteria, its just a vibe. when two people fail to be funny or interesting, they are usually in staged humor mode. unfortunately, some people get stuck and stay there for most of their life, regardless of gender.

and the competitive part, yes. i feel that, and its frustrating, especially when there is no doubt that i'm the little dog in a situation. but, you see, thats the female's fault for co-perceiving the situation that way. my competition (also a male) notices this too, and together we rise above the female. females pretend to do the same, but they seem to take it a bit more "seriously".

 

[forbidden fruit]

DISLCLAIMER: Purely based on experience & those I've come into contact with... blah blah blah.. don't shoot!

I know plenty of girls with razor sharp & very clever wit & can be very funny, but struggle with the absurd & ridiculous side of humour that I, & most guys I know, find MOST funny.
Women seem to find this form of humour funny too, but just don't seem to be able to pull it off themselves.

 

[JoeVice]

thats because they're laughing at you, not with you.

 

[WeAreTheLastMen]

Apparently most men like women to laugh at their jokes but not to be funny themselves. This seems to be because men use humour to impress women and feel competitive about this skill. Perhaps if the woman seems to be "better" at it, then he feels inadequate. But not all men are like that. There are some who would choose a funny woman over a non-witty one, if neither was otherwise any better in other respects. Thoughts?

Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a ridiculous contention. What, if anything, is this based on?
Most people I know like witty women as much as they do witty men. I don't know anyone who thinks women shouldn't be witty. I mean, they've already got the vote, and they're wearing pants. I you don't think women have the right to wit, it's Armageddon out there.
And actually, most guys I know tend to think it's sexy. Especially if the woman is some how "batter at it" (wittier, I guess you mean). A lot of people are really turned on by that (assuming it's not done playfully and not in an abrasive or spiteful way).

 

[Rintrah]

Apparently most men like women to laugh at their jokes but not to be funny themselves. This seems to be because men use humour to impress women and feel competitive about this skill. Perhaps if the woman seems to be "better" at it, then he feels inadequate. But not all men are like that. There are some who would choose a funny woman over a non-witty one, if neither was otherwise any better in other respects. Thoughts?

I guess. Most men are morons. Most women are morons too, just in different ways.

 

[Norsemaiden]

Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a ridiculous contention. What, if anything, is this based on?
Most people I know like witty women as much as they do witty men. I don't know anyone who thinks women shouldn't be witty. I mean, they've already got the vote, and they're wearing pants. I you don't think women have the right to wit, it's Armageddon out there.
And actually, most guys I know tend to think it's sexy. Especially if the woman is some how "batter at it" (wittier, I guess you mean). A lot of people are really turned on by that (assuming it's not done playfully and not in an abrasive or spiteful way).

At least one man Joe Vice, has confirmed this situation. I find that a woman has more difficulty than a man to make men, and sometimes even women, laugh.
Today I read an article saying men find it threatening.

Why men don't fancy funny women

... because it scares the poor dears. Research shows men find female wits a turn-off.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/why-men-dont-fancy-funny-women-525001.html

You live and learn WeAreTheLastMen. There's no need to swear either. Lighten up. As a moderator I shouldn't really allow that language...

I am currently trying to learn to write satire. So far I have had positive reaction so perhaps it isn't as difficult for women to amuse men as that article suggests.

 

[cholo11]

Can't see why we wouldn't like a witty woman.

 

[JoeVice]

thanks norsemaiden, i'm flattered.

truly though, it seems that a female has a more "noble" trait, ya know, the more "mother-earth" sorta thing, not so dick-headed and chaotic, like men, which is no wonder why men can more easily find "ridiculous and tasteless" humor. women just gently take the dick and laugh at it because its sooooo cuuute!!!!

 

[Vimana]

I would like a smart girlfriend. Its too bad so many girls dumb themselves down to the point that it actually does effect their intelligence.

 

[The Poona of Peshwa]

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701
You all might enjoy this piece.

 

[WeAreTheLastMen]

At least one man Joe Vice, has confirmed this situation. I find that a woman has more difficulty than a man to make men, and sometimes even women, laugh.
Today I read an article saying men find it threatening.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/why-men-dont-fancy-funny-women-525001.html

You live and learn WeAreTheLastMen. There's no need to swear either. Lighten up. As a moderator I shouldn't really allow that language...

I am currently trying to learn to write satire. So far I have had positive reaction so perhaps it isn't as difficult for women to amuse men as that article suggests.

My bad on the swearing, then. Just saying, every experience I've had with this suggests that it's a turn on. But I think it all comes down to respect. If you're turned on by intelligent and/or independent women (most men I know are) then you'll also look for wit in a woman.

 

[OldScratch]

This will probably sound "sexist" at first, but generally speaking I have met relatively few woman I would classify as genuinely witty or funny. However, when I have encountered such a woman, they are usually wittier and funnier than most any man I know, are very special people in general, and I do enjoy their company a great deal!

The problem I find with many woman is that their humor is more caustic and vicious than witty. Perhaps it is some post-feminist angst factor, pop-culture hangover, or the like; but American woman are generally very sarcastic in a biting, nasty sort of way - rather than a genuinely humorous way. This I find altogether unappealing.

I think I am with Speed on this - I doubt I would be terribly attracted to a woman(beyond the aesthetic of course)who was not witty or funny on some level.

Norsemaiden - I think you will do well with the satire project!!

 

[forbidden fruit]

I would like a smart girlfriend. Its too bad so many girls dumb themselves down to the point that it actually does effect their intelligence.

Why is this?
I understand the appeal of actually being more intelligent than most people will assume you are, but I can't see any benefit in actively promoting yourself as a bimbo... yet I see it quite often.
Do any of the females here know anything about this phenomena & why it is?

 

[Norsemaiden]

Why is this?
I understand the appeal of actually being more intelligent than most people will assume you are, but I can't see any benefit in actively promoting yourself as a bimbo... yet I see it quite often.
Do any of the females here know anything about this phenomena & why it is?

It is doubtful there are any women who are threatened or turned off by a man being more intelligent or better at humour than they. Women are less able to deal with being the object of amusement on a personal level than many men are though. It could be that when a man laughs at what a woman said, she is much more likely to take offence, but if a woman laughs at a man it will cheer him up as long as its not meant in a nasty way.

Eg.
Woman falls off her bike doing a somersault - man laughs because it just looked funny and she's okay: result = woman is not pleased with man
Now do a sex reversal. Most men (if they find the woman remotely attractive) will actually be pleased to have made her laugh. That's one of those really sweet things about men!

In the case of intelligence. I know I am very typical in this: I would not have a long-term relationship with an intellectual inferior no matter how talented, rich, practical, handsome,etc in preference to someone at least on my level and preferably more so.
Men are more than happy, (with some sensible ones being the exception) to go with a woman who is very stupid but okay looking.
Its the rule (with some exceptions). Perhaps there is an evolutionary reason for this: the man has to provide for the woman and so being intelligent is more necessary and a woman who thinks her man is dumb is going to be trying to over-rule him constantly. (Some women who go for low intelligence men, only do so because they want to boss them.)

Intelligence may be somewhat sex-linked due to these choices of mate. Perhaps a woman, while being slightly less intelligent than her man, may yet have the genes to pass on a higher intelligence than she has herself to her sons. Her genetic intelligence is suppressed by her being female just so that she can be matched with a man who seems smarter. That's just a pet theory of mine.

Some women may play bimbos just so they can be found attractive by a wider selection of men.