Do Men Dislike Wit in a Woman?

[MetalBooger]

I dunno Norsemaiden, how does or did your boyfriend think of you acting witty? Maybe you can answer your own question? Or if you dont swing that way, are there tensions created in lesbian relationships if one of the partners exhibits signs of wittiness. I have heard after all that lesbian relationships often have butch and feminine parties found in normal unions of man and woman.

 

[Norsemaiden]

I dunno Norsemaiden, how does or did your boyfriend think of you acting witty? Maybe you can answer your own question? Or if you dont swing that way, are there tensions created in lesbian relationships if one of the partners exhibits signs of wittiness. I have heard after all that lesbian relationships often have butch and feminine parties found in normal unions of man and woman.

My own experience with boyfriends has been positive and my dad is pleased that I have inherited some wackiness off him - although his jokes are generally too corny. But it's a big reason my mum married him.
Probably people are just drawn to others that fit in with their personality, so a witty woman with a man who hates that is most likely the kind of woman who subconsciously seeks an abusive partner.
(Not saying I'm especially witty btw - not that fast to think of things.)
There's some research I saw that said women take longer to see what's funny in a joke/situation but then they laugh for a longer time when they do. Could be.

Laughing is not just a human thing apparently:

What puzzles scientists is what the animals are laughing about. Some studies suggest animals laugh when they are excited or happy. Others believe animals laugh to gain the attention of their owners. It’s possible animals laugh when they are enjoying play. Clearly, none of the animals appear to be telling knock knock jokes but a dog might laugh at the sound of his owner’s knock on the door.

It’s possible that animals laugh because it confers health benefits to them, just as laughing is very good for people. Laughter can lower blood pressure, ease stress, produce dopamine and growth hormone, and actually be good for the circulatory system.

http://www.wisegeek.com/do-animals-laugh.htm

 

[Blowtus]

The problem I find with many woman is that their humor is more caustic and vicious than witty. Perhaps it is some post-feminist angst factor, pop-culture hangover, or the like; but American woman are generally very sarcastic in a biting, nasty sort of way - rather than a genuinely humorous way. This I find altogether unappealing.

This pretty much mirrors my first thoughts on reading the question - why that is I don't really know. I love wit and humour, but I think there is some requirement for positivity / self deprecation / 'good humour' about it. Biting wit motivated by some sort of negative outlook, while still 'witty' is not anything I want to surround myself with. I share the sense that women are more prone to this more negative form of 'wit', my only attempt at explanation would be that they have a sense of not enough power within their world and would strike back at it to some degree - the wit and humour mechanism may be well developed, but other underlying mental structures may not be, or may just be 'different' to the point that I don't find the expression of wit to be valuable.

This post is a ball of large generalisations

 

[Vossyrus]

I'm not exactly sure where I stand on this since I don't believe I've ever thought much about it. Most women I've met usually aren't 'witty' - I knew a few for example in highschool who were arguably that but they were loud and very outspoken, and were always the first to laugh at jokes or fire back comments in class...I was quite turned off by that. I have to admit also with say, stand-up comedians I think most female stand-up comics are awful. With me personally, a sense of humour is necessary but nothing over-the-top I guess.

 

[forbidden fruit]

It is doubtful there are any women who are threatened or turned off by a man being more intelligent or better at humour than they. Women are less able to deal with being the object of amusement on a personal level than many men are though. It could be that when a man laughs at what a woman said, she is much more likely to take offence, but if a woman laughs at a man it will cheer him up as long as its not meant in a nasty way.

Eg.
Woman falls off her bike doing a somersault - man laughs because it just looked funny and she's okay: result = woman is not pleased with man
Now do a sex reversal. Most men (if they find the woman remotely attractive) will actually be pleased to have made her laugh. That's one of those really sweet things about men!In the case of intelligence. I know I am very typical in this: I would not have a long-term relationship with an intellectual inferior no matter how talented, rich, practical, handsome,etc in preference to someone at least on my level and preferably more so.
Men are more than happy, (with some sensible ones being the exception) to go with a woman who is very stupid but okay looking.
Its the rule (with some exceptions). Perhaps there is an evolutionary reason for this: the man has to provide for the woman and so being intelligent is more necessary and a woman who thinks her man is dumb is going to be trying to over-rule him constantly. (Some women who go for low intelligence men, only do so because they want to boss them.)

Intelligence may be somewhat sex-linked due to these choices of mate. Perhaps a woman, while being slightly less intelligent than her man, may yet have the genes to pass on a higher intelligence than she has herself to her sons. Her genetic intelligence is suppressed by her being female just so that she can be matched with a man who seems smarter. That's just a pet theory of mine.

Some women may play bimbos just so they can be found attractive by a wider selection of men.

This is what confuses me about the subject.
Again, this is a huge generalisation... but most women generally don't actively seek just any kind of attention from the opposite sex that most men do.
Most women will go to great lengths (and pains) to project a certain image of themselves to others, including men.. this image is usually a positive one... independent, intelligent, beautiful, not to be messed with.. etc etc..
So why some women, usually of the younger variety, try so hard to be seen in such an obviously negative light is beyond me.
I take your point that they believe it gets them attention from a wider audience of men, but I think what it really does is get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of men.
Commonsense really.

To me this is such a huge polarisation of approaches to gaining attention from the opposite sex, & such a lopsided ratio at each pole, that surely there's a reason or a catalyst for this kind of behaviour... ?

 

[Hallucinations]

I have nothing valuable to say on the matter, I've thought it through and then tried to think it through again but by the time I'd come up with something I saw it had already been written.

I'd say people would be more afraid of women lawyers though Witty and scary

+ 1 posts

 

[Norsemaiden]

This is what confuses me about the subject.
Again, this is a huge generalisation... but most women generally don't actively seek just any kind of attention from the opposite sex that most men do.
Most women will go to great lengths (and pains) to project a certain image of themselves to others, including men.. this image is usually a positive one... independent, intelligent, beautiful, not to be messed with.. etc etc..
So why some women, usually of the younger variety, try so hard to be seen in such an obviously negative light is beyond me.
I take your point that they believe it gets them attention from a wider audience of men, but I think what it really does is get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of men.
Commonsense really.

To me this is such a huge polarisation of approaches to gaining attention from the opposite sex, & such a lopsided ratio at each pole, that surely there's a reason or a catalyst for this kind of behaviour... ?

You have got it so right when you said "I think what it really does is get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of men."

That reminds me of a piece of wit I heard from a woman recently. She said: "Have you heard, a connection has been discovered between large breasts and low intelligence?"

Why? "Because the larger the breasts the woman has, the less intelligent the men she attracts".

There must be at least a grain of truth in that, don't you think!
Same principle with the bimbos attracting idiots, with the difference being that they seem to be asking for it (in more ways than one).

 

[waif]

Apparently most men like women to laugh at their jokes but not to be funny themselves. This seems to be because men use humour to impress women and feel competitive about this skill. Perhaps if the woman seems to be "better" at it, then he feels inadequate. But not all men are like that. There are some who would choose a funny woman over a non-witty one, if neither was otherwise any better in other respects. Thoughts?

I can only speak for myself, but I've gotta say that I find a girl who can't make a joke to be a turn-off. I like someone I can banter with.

 

[Vossyrus]

You have got it so right when you said "I think what it really does is get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of men."

That reminds me of a piece of wit I heard from a woman recently. She said: "Have you heard, a connection has been discovered between large breasts and low intelligence?"

Why? "Because the larger the breasts the woman has, the less intelligent the men she attracts".

There must be at least a grain of truth in that, don't you think!
Same principle with the bimbos attracting idiots, with the difference being that they seem to be asking for it (in more ways than one).

I can agree with that through observation but I believe those two types are fit for each other. I think any decent male would rather find a woman who actually has some class - something you'll never find with bimbos or women who fix their appearance for the sole purpose of attracting attention etc. The attention they'll receive is of course from those said men of lower intelligence because why would any intelligent male want that.

 

[TomAwesome]

I've noticed it, too, but I don't really get it. My best guess is that it's a gender "role" kind of thing. The man is supposed to be smart and strong and witty, and the woman is supposed to be pretty and reserved. Personally, I find a good sense of humor and wit to be very attractive in a girl. Intelligent, witty, strong women really appeal to me. A woman can have all these traits and still maintain a feminine appeal.

At least one man Joe Vice, has confirmed this situation. I find that a woman has more difficulty than a man to make men, and sometimes even women, laugh.
Today I read an article saying men find it threatening.

I've heard the same thing. I was watching this great program on the History Channel a while back called The History of the Joke, and (unless I'm confusing it with another program) part of it was briefly talking about how it's harder for women to make people laugh than it is for men. I thought about it for a while, and I think it's true. Also, I think it's more because of the material being presented by a woman rather than something inherently wrong in the female's sense of humor. Written material doesn't seem to have any problem if there's no name attached to it.

 

[The Poona of Peshwa]

"Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence (and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright), it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience, not as rivals. And there is a huge, brimming reservoir of male unease, which it would be too easy for women to exploit. (Men can tell jokes about what happened to John Wayne Bobbitt, but they don't want women doing so.) Men have prostate glands, hysterically enough, and these have a tendency to give out, along with their hearts and, it has to be said, their dicks. This is funny only in male company. For some reason, women do not find their own physical decay and absurdity to be so riotously amusing, which is why we admire Lucille Ball and Helen Fielding, who do see the funny side of it. But this is so rare as to be like Dr. Johnson's comparison of a woman preaching to a dog walking on its hind legs: the surprise is that it is done at all."

This is from the Christopher Hitchens article I posted earlier. I still recommend you all read it.
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701?currentPage=2

 

[Patrick R.]

Men are attracted to women who are good looking. They can have the worst personality ever, and they will still fall in love with them if they are really pretty. Trust me on this one.

 

[Norsemaiden]

Men are attracted to women who are good looking. They can have the worst personality ever, and they will still fall in love with them if they are really pretty. Trust me on this one.

Looks don't last though - so what will sustain the relationship once that's gone?
Probably you're right that a man will fall for a very pretty woman regardless of personality (even if she screams obscenities at him over trivia and isn't keen on sex?) But such a relationship will need something more if it will go the distance. On the other hand personality is surely a big plus that can make up somewhat for lack of physical attractiveness.
Science has shown that people naturally pair up with someone who is on about the same level of physical attractiveness as they are. Otherwise what would happen is that the less attractive people would always be disappointed.
You can get a beautiful woman who never gets married because she is flawed in her personality, while a much plainer woman who is a pleasure to be with, (and a good cook most likely) will have no problem.

 

[razoredge]

But none of its cut and dry, Ive seen breath taking women with little geeky men, fat men, bald men, nerdy men... I wouldnt want to throw the gold digger card out... lol. Ive seen good looking men with women I dont find attractive at all. I know some small or thin men that like large women. Some men only care about the cooking. I dont know if there is actually a norm to attractiveness in personal preference when seeking a mate. I've seen great looking women with decent looking men who were total jerks and they just put up with it and visa versa I've walked away from many fine looking ladies because they were just too hard to take after the first half hour.

As for wit in women, for me its all in how its used. Wit can be used to degrade or humiliate... and hey... thats tons of fun. But if its just fun... its... fun. In the end it should be all about whether the person inspires you, stimulates you to be everything you can be.... and of course from a mans point of view... is and remains horney... lol

but many of us settle or compromise for a fair balance, others live in complete frustration, others want each other dead........ lol Their is alot of truth in the movie "War of the Roses"

 

[Vimana]

It is doubtful there are any women who are threatened or turned off by a man being more intelligent

I doubt that, sometimes I think women like feeling smarter. When I show my knowledge of Science and History in school I can tell when they think I'm weird.

IMO they like guys with about the same intelligence level, because a guy who is dumber might frustrate them and a guy who is more intelligent may make them feel stupid.

 

[Patrick R.]

Looks don't last though - so what will sustain the relationship once that's gone?
Probably you're right that a man will fall for a very pretty woman regardless of personality (even if she screams obscenities at him over trivia and isn't keen on sex?) But such a relationship will need something more if it will go the distance. On the other hand personality is surely a big plus that can make up somewhat for lack of physical attractiveness.
Science has shown that people naturally pair up with someone who is on about the same level of physical attractiveness as they are. Otherwise what would happen is that the less attractive people would always be disappointed.
You can get a beautiful woman who never gets married because she is flawed in her personality, while a much plainer woman who is a pleasure to be with, (and a good cook most likely) will have no problem.

I should add what "beauty" is. I don't know to many men who like flat stomachs on women to be honest..it reminds me of starvation. With that being said, women really can't stand skinny men. It probably reminds our instinctive feeling of starvation and disease, before we had an abundance of food and medical supplies.

There are just certain traits that white women have that turn white men on (I'm not going to address non-European traits and personality types.) But with European women, once they have another male fall in love with them...no matter how she acts, they will not stop liking her.

 

[Patrick R.]

I doubt that, sometimes I think women like feeling smarter. When I show my knowledge of Science and History in school I can tell when they think I'm weird.

IMO they like guys with about the same intelligence level, because a guy who is dumber might frustrate them and a guy who is more intelligent may make them feel stupid.

I disagree, women [on average] do not like feeling smarter...they do not want to be dumb, but a male who has a seemingly endless amount of knowledge would certainly get her curiosity going.

 

[Vimana]

I wouldn't say thats the case with them on average, most girls at my school seem to make fun of and look down upon people with knowledge, especially when they're wrong about something.

 

[Norsemaiden]

I wouldn't say thats the case with them on average, most girls at my school seem to make fun of and look down upon people with knowledge, especially when they're wrong about something.

Hmmm there must be something sexy about Patrick's particular endless knowledge. Your knowledge might not be as exciting. Get him to recommend some books perhaps?

Edit: Patrick's knowledge is really impressive - I am not being sarcastic there.

 

[razoredge]

laughs... shakes head... recommends book of Life