Female Orgasm

[Alongside Death]

It's a mental thing more than anything else. A woman will acheive orgasm faster with someone she cares about because it's a fantasy come true. It's more than hitting certain areas of the clitoris. One makes themselves become aroused and excited, and as a result, orgasm. Men may not be exactly the same here, but I think it also applies to Men to a certain extent.

I totally agree, that is why I don't understand the term: "Sex without commitment". I know it is for pleasure but (I don't want to hurt anyones feelings) for me it is kind of whoreish.

 

[entanglement]

If sex is the highest point on the ladder of love for two people to climb, then why do so many people seem to defend to the death the idea of moving from one person to the next, constantly having sex with people that you barely know? If people all truely valued sex as truly the highest point of affection for another person, then premarital sex wouldn't be nearly as big as it is around the world.

People change from one person to another in the field of sexuality alone because they're not making love, they're merely giving in to their lust.

Most premarital sex begins with a spark called curiousity, further taking shapes and changing colors into simply being a response to their hunger for nothing but sexual pleasure.. finally transforming into a state that makes seem 'sex' bigger than a 'relationship' itself. A point where 'cheating' and 'prostitutes' are one of the ways to walk the road you're on.

As for women alone, I think its a slightly different issue than men. Although generalizing something this diverse to such simple terms would be unfair.. but women (most), do not want the same things as men do. No matter how far we come, women still have a womanhood about them, that restricts them from going out and demanding a thing as sex so bluntly like men do. The modern woman although much liberated, still finds her ankles tied to her past where she can see that she has come far. Its not a very stable ground to be standing on, knowing that its not such as strong because of that weak past. Women are still confined in the matters of sexuality, not as greatly as they once were, but their desires choose to stay confined 'as they are brought up' because these factors, hence the 'lack of interest' among many of them as the study in the first post suggests.

 

[Demiurge]

I totally agree, that is why I don't understand the term: "Sex without commitment". I know it is for pleasure but (I don't want to hurt anyones feelings) for me it is kind of whoreish.

I disagree. Whores trade sex for material reward. It is the very opposite of whorish to engage in sex for the pleasure of the act.

 

[Justin S.]

There certainly is "trading" going on, as very few people engage in it for the pleasure of "the act", but a whole host of other metaphysical fulfillments.

Just because sex is fundamental does not mean its simple- just the opposite. Similarly, because something is primordial (or some would say "natural") doesn't entail its free of ambivalence.

Thanks, Demiurge, for starting this thread.

 

[Tongue_Ring]

If sex is the highest point on the ladder of love for two people to climb, then why do so many people seem to defend to the death the idea of moving from one person to the next, constantly having sex with people that you barely know? If people all truely valued sex as truly the highest point of affection for another person, then premarital sex wouldn't be nearly as big as it is around the world.

love and sex are seperate
a man can fall "in love" with a female that he knows has no sex drive
a woman can fall "in love" with a man that she knows is impotent

and a married guy can be "in love" with a wife that has absolutely no sex drive at all whatsoever, and then fuck a prostitute because he doesn't want to rape his wife, without falling in love with the prostitute or falling out of love with his wife

love and sex are completely seperate things

sex and love are like ice-cream and fudge-sauce
they're both good seperately but they are better when put together (at least for the female gender)

 

[Norsemaiden]

I totally agree, that is why I don't understand the term: "Sex without commitment". I know it is for pleasure but (I don't want to hurt anyones feelings) for me it is kind of whoreish.

I know what you mean, although it isn't really whoreish for the reason Demiurge says - but slaggish. There are levels of commitment of course. A man could be said to be committed to his mistress if they are honest with eachother and in love - even though he is married to someone else. But the point I wanted to make is that there are a great many whoreish marriages! Because what else is it when a woman is only married to a man for his money or a man has only married a woman because she is after his money and he is only interested in her while she is attractive?

It must be so hard for a rich man to be sure his girlfriend's love for him has no relation to his money. That's one of the curses of wealth.

 

[speed]

I know what you mean, although it isn't really whoreish for the reason Demiurge says - but slaggish. There are levels of commitment of course. A man could be said to be committed to his mistress if they are honest with eachother and in love - even though he is married to someone else. But the point I wanted to make is that there are a great many whoreish marriages! Because what else is it when a woman is only married to a man for his money or a man has only married a woman because she is after his money and he is only interested in her while she is attractive?

It must be so hard for a rich man to be sure his girlfriend's love for him has no relation to his money. That's one of the curses of wealth.

Not being rich I wouldnt know, but I doubt thats too much of a concern for most rich guys--the love or money part. I think its kind of a middle class morality lesson, that doesnt seem to matter to the very wealthy.

While were on it, how much do sex and power go together? A terribly general argument I know. But it seems to have some relevance. Just in my own sad existence, when I was in a position of power, women found me much more attractive, than a normal or entry level employee.

 

[Norsemaiden]

Not being rich I wouldnt know, but I doubt thats too much of a concern for most rich guys--the love or money part. I think its kind of a middle class morality lesson, that doesnt seem to matter to the very wealthy.

While were on it, how much do sex and power go together? A terribly general argument I know. But it seems to have some relevance. Just in my own sad existence, when I was in a position of power, women found me much more attractive, than a normal or entry level employee.

It's documented that sex and power go together. That is women fancy men who are powerful (in status) more than physically superior men (and more intelligent) who are not powerful. (Not me - but science has shown that the majority are like that). But men find powerful women more of a turn-off (again their must be exceptions to this).

There were experiments showing women pictures of men and saying they were in some kind of lowly employment, and then if the experimentor said that the same men were of high status, the women showed much more interest. Their pupils enlarged and other things like pulse rate going up, and they said the guy had something sexy about him now, whereas he didn't before.

There must be some evolutionary reason for this. Like an instinct that this corresponds with some desireable genes. (Not that those who don't react like that are lacking in instinct - maybe it is a case of intellect overcoming instinct and having observed that high status men in this society are generally horrible.)

 

[Demiurge]

"Powerful" males have the greatest ability to contribute resources to their offspring. Females require more resources while pregnant, they are less able to acquire these resources, and also, if they can get the male to contribute after the offspring are born, all the better. The male, on the other hand, has the opportunity to try a different strategy. That is, to impregnate as many females as he can and contribute very little. The production of sperm is very easy for him, whereas becoming impregnated entails many difficulties for the female. In short, it makes good sense that males will have sex with many females and their preference is based on physical attributes which are signs of fertility, and females will select partners more carefully and for different reasons.

 

[OldScratch]

I know what you mean, although it isn't really whoreish for the reason Demiurge says - but slaggish. There are levels of commitment of course. A man could be said to be committed to his mistress if they are honest with eachother and in love - even though he is married to someone else. But the point I wanted to make is that there are a great many whoreish marriages! Because what else is it when a woman is only married to a man for his money or a man has only married a woman because she is after his money and he is only interested in her while she is attractive?

It must be so hard for a rich man to be sure his girlfriend's love for him has no relation to his money. That's one of the curses of wealth.

I recall hearing the altogether loathsome Donald Trump, when asked if his model-wife to be would likely fancy him were it not for his incredible wealth, reply by asking if the questioner thought he(Trump) would pursue his fiance, were it not for her exceptional looks. What a horribly cynical viewpoint! But one that is probably far more common than many would care to admit.
Romantic fairytales make wonderful stories - and being a bit of a hopeless romantic myself, the appeal is strong - but reality tells a decidedly different tale.
On a side note - the enormous appeal of pornography tells me something about sexual attitudes, and the realities of genuine physical intimacy versus the fantasy world, where commitment and it's attendant issues are non-existant. Woman often bemoan their husband's 'addiction' to online smut, while largely ignoring them physically. The men, of course, insist that they are drawn to porn as their wives lose all interest in sex five minutes after the nuptuals. A strange, but devilishly common phenomenon. I'm not sure if I had a point here...just an observation, I guess.

 

[speed]

I recall hearing the altogether loathsome Donald Trump, when asked if his model-wife to be would likely fancy him were it not for his incredible wealth, reply by asking if the questioner thought he(Trump) would pursue his fiance, were it not for her exceptional looks. What a horribly cynical viewpoint! But one that is probably far more common than many would care to admit.
Romantic fairytales make wonderful stories - and being a bit of a hopeless romantic myself, the appeal is strong - but reality tells a decidedly different tale.
On a side note - the enormous appeal of pornography tells me something about sexual attitudes, and the realities of genuine physical intimacy versus the fantasy world, where commitment and it's attendant issues are non-existant. Woman often bemoan their husband's 'addiction' to online smut, while largely ignoring them physically. The men, of course, insist that they are drawn to porn as their wives lose all interest in sex five minutes after the nuptuals. A strange, but devilishly common phenomenon. I'm not sure if I had a point here...just an observation, I guess.

Porn would make for an interesting thread, but...I have a strong premonition the discussion would turn into a every idiot on UM posting type of thing.

I think you made the basic point about porn for men: there is no responsibility or commitment, the woman are generally sexual ideals, and, more importantly, they will do anything sexually--unlike the vast majority of women. And then you come back to your flawed, flabby, frumpy female who wont do certain things...

 

[judas69]

Poor females, the abuse they incur.

 

[Norsemaiden]

Quote Speed

And then you come back to your flawed, flabby, frumpy female who wont do certain things...

Of course if she thinks that's her man's opinion of her it would put her off sex (even though some subtle encouragement to get in shape would be a good idea). I have noticed that fit, slim men are somewhat more likely to have a woman of similar type. So maybe flawed, flabby frumpy men just get a mirror image in their wife a lot of the time. But these two lazy blobs probably just drift out of sex - finding it ever harder to part legs wide enough or blocked by the size of their stomachs and lack of energy. Hold that thought....
And then it is no surprise if the man just resorts to porn most of the time.

But what could be more insulting to an attractive young woman with normal desires than for her man to prefer porn to her. Does that happen? I suppose only if there is an especially weird fetish involved and the man has some kind of addictive personality disorder. Or is this more common than I imagine?

 

[Demiurge]

I have noticed that fit, slim men are somewhat more likely to have a woman of similar type.

I have noticed that I see unattractive males with attractive females fairly often, but attractive males with unattractive females very rarely.

But what could be more insulting to an attractive young woman with normal desires than for her man to prefer porn to her. Does that happen? I suppose only if there is an especially weird fetish involved and the man has some kind of addictive personality disorder. Or is this more common than I imagine?

It is often believed that masturbation is an outlet for people who do not have sex. However, a recent study found that people who have sex a lot masturbate a lot. In that light, I would expect that people who have sex often also masturbate frequently, perhaps with the aid of pornography. However, preference is another matter. Another recent study found that sex releases more prolactin than masturbation, so I'd expect most to prefer it.

 

[OldScratch]

I have noticed that I see unattractive males with attractive females fairly often, but attractive males with unattractive females very rarely.

Although this used to be the case(this could be a regional/geographical thing I suppose) in more recent years I see this changing dramatically. Due in large part(forgive the pun) no doubt, to the increasing obesity and generally overweight status of Americans, I now routinely see slimmer, fit young males accompanied by chunky, if not fully corpulent girls. A sexual paradigm shift perhaps? This isn't only limited to the young, but it seems more common.
According to the last stats I saw, the distribution of average weight gain places the 'fatness factor' primarily in younger females(roughly age 13-35) I believe) and older males(middle-age and up). A curious development, but it helps explain this newer "odd-coupling" phenomenon to a degree.
When I was in my teens and twenties(I'm an old coot of 37) you simply didn't see fat gals with thin males. Occasionally the reverse would be seen, but rarely.(Then again, twenty years ago, you just didn't see as many tubby people in general).
I should note that weight and attractiveness are purely subjective I know, so this is fairly superficial observation on my part. Just the same...it is certainly peculiar to this age, as it just wasn't done 'back when'.

 

[Norsemaiden]

I don't know if I should be asking this, but I have often wondered if an obese couple can copulate facing eachother - even while lying down. Don't their stomachs get in the way? I have heard a man saying that his girfriend was so fat that her thighs got in the way. Am I the only person who has ever wondered about this?
I think it can work if only one is fat and the other not.
Oh dear, this is not very philosophical is it? But then again, how can one properly consider philosophy without understanding some such facts about humanity?

 

[BloodSword]

I don't know if I should be asking this, but I have often wondered if an obese couple can copulate facing eachother - even while lying down. Don't their stomachs get in the way? I have heard a man saying that his girfriend was so fat that her thighs got in the way. Am I the only person who has ever wondered about this?
I think it can work if only one is fat and the other not.
Oh dear, this is not very philosophical is it? But then again, how can one properly consider philosophy without understanding some such facts about humanity?

I to have wondered about this, and to my misfortune I accidently walked in on an old roomate and his "sqeeze." Now, my friend was a great guy who weighed give or take 400 pds.( at that point give or take doesn't matter) Anyway, I got home early from work one day and wes looking for Brent(my roommate) so I went up to his room and WTF!! He was with this girl, her on top and they were goin' at it like there was no tommorow. I was both freaked and repulsed. Flesh was Flyin.' I saw flesh, where I didn't think it possible for humans to have flesh. It actually scared me. Then I started thinking as I ran out, How did he get her through the door? This woman was HUGE, IMMENSE. I have never seen a woman that BIG. And you know they never even stopped, they just kept on jamming. I heard sounds emanating from that room that still scare me to this day. Grunts and moans, and I don't know what!! So, I guess FAT people need and want sex just like everybody else. And their obesity did'nt seem to effect their ability to perform. Brent was one of those lovable guys( and his girlfriend MIMI was too) I hope this does'nt happen to anyone here, for it was an image that took quite awhile to eliminate from my mind's eye. Obese people have every right to enjoy the gifts of life, but I tell you this; There is a place where they store airplanes (hangars) go there and do the grind. Please!!

 

[Norsemaiden]

Thanks for that Bloodsword! I am so much the wiser!

 

[entanglement]

Oh dear, this is not very philosophical is it? But then again, how can one properly consider philosophy without understanding some such facts about humanity?

I'm sorry the last part of that just kind of made me chuckle a little.

 

[Silver Incubus]

Well fat people like addicts have no self control, or haven't learned how to transfer the self control they do have to eating and exercise.