Don't joke with customs people

mindspell

vvv Jake's ass vvv
Jul 6, 2002
3,641
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Montreal
www.mindspell.org
With some colleagues this weekend we had planned to go take a bike ride through Vermont and North New York state and then back to Montreal. We were pretty confident that nothing would prevent us to go over the border as none of us never had any trouble. Then one of the guys did the worst thing you can do: He cracked a joke to one of the customs guy. This was the signal to look into each of our lives and us to spend an hour waiting for their checks and one of us even got strip searched. The reason for all of this crap was:

-One of the guys was originally french, obviously so as he has a big french accent, but he has had his canadian citizenship for more than 7 years, they still denied him entry.

-Another one was caught with a joint in 88 while getting through the US border in Minnesota. When they asked him if he ever had any problem getting through the border he said no because since then he had gotten through many times, even worked in the US, with a work visa, for a year. He thought that it wasn't a problem anymore, apparently not. He was denied entry also and was clearly informed that if he continued explaining himself he would soon be charged with lying to a federal officer, a felony.

So we went and spent our cash in Canada instead. There was a dude from the department of homeland security there all dressed up with a bulletproof vest, two guns and a mean streak and was extremely rude even though we were all cooperative. This was at probably one of the smallest border control ever, 2 customs officer and a small building hosting them.

So much for friendly neighbors
 
and this reminds me of the time (96 or 97) when ex-GF and myself were returning from montreal (i think at an obscure VT border? or is the NYS I-87 passage the only way?) and there was no one at the checkpoint.

inexplicably she (the driver) goes "fuck this" and proceeds through the gate. before i could say 'uhhhhhh...' this major siren goes off, as if david cronenberg has declared martial law, and she (the ex-GF/driver) looks kind of confused, and i'm like "maybe you should put the car in reverse..."

the dude didn't hassle us, though. just asked some questions at the window.
 
Look Azal I don't know what BFS told you but it wasn't me who pierced her clitoris and made her eat goat shit.
 
one could hazard a guess that this wouldn't have happened if the non-American Canadian borders weren't as porous as Lorraine cheese and let in terrorists like the sea through the screen door of a Polish submarine.
 
luke was in prison in mexico for a week b/c he ran a stop sign in tijuana.

way 2 go luke

p.s. for $50 a shot they'll give you heroin in prison apparently. nice.
 
Avi:

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my parents, upon driving back to CA from Mexico, drove down the wrong checkpoint road and were told by the customs dudes to turn around and not come back to America.