Everybody knows... shit happens

[AsModEe]

Taoism: If you understand shit, it isn't shit

Hinduism: This shit happened before

Confucianism: Confucius say: "Shit happens"

Buddhism: Shit will happen to you again

Islam: if shit happens it is the will of Allah

Jehova's Witness: Knock Knock, shit happens

Atheism: I don't believe this shit

Agnosticism: Can you prove that shit happens?

Protestantism: Shit happens, amen to that

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you

Nation of Islam: Don't take no shit

Rastafarianism: let's smoke this shit

New age: Visualize shit happening

Hedonism: I love it when shit happens

Satanism: sneppah tihs

Capitalism: this is MY shit

Feminism: Men are shit!

Existentialism: What is shit, anyway?

Mormonism: Excrement happens (don't say shit)

Mysticism: this is really weird shit

Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen, we made it happen

Disneyism: Bad shit doesn't happen here

Communism: Let's share the shit

Marxism: You have nothing to lose but your shit

Conspiracy theorism: THEY shit on us!

Psycho-analysis: tell me about your shit

Darwinism: survival of the shittiest

Amish: Modern shit is useless

Suicidal: I've had enough of this shit

Optimism: Shit won't happen to me

Shakeaspearean: To shit or not to shit, that is the question

Descartes: I shit therefore I am

Freud: shit is a phallic symbol

Lawyers: For enough money, I can get you out of shit

Acupuncturist: Hold still or this will hurt like shit

Dog: I just shit in your shoe

Cat: Dogs are shit

Mouse: Oh shit! A cat!

Einstein: Shit is relative

Materialism: Whoever dies with the most shit, wins

Vegetarianism: If it happens to shit, don't eat it

Fatalism: Oh shit, it's going to happen

Americanism: Who gives a shit?

Stastitician: Shit is 84,7% likely to happen

Hip-Hop: Motherfuck this shiznit, beeeatch!

Tantrism: Fuck this shit

Cynicism: We are all full of shit

Surrealism: Fish happens

 

[Evil?]

Satanism: sneppah tihs

That was my favorite.

 

[skeptik]

Jehova's Witness: Knock Knock, shit happens

I hate those guys...

 

[Trylakos]

if it earns me points, I threw up in the jehovah's parking lot.

Good thing I have new neighbours n ow, so I can tell them Im new and a beleiver , that I will find out new info on my own and that they need not come see me

 

[Thanatopsis123]

Some of those were pretty good. What's this from?

 

[ohiogrinder]

Scientology - If L Ron Hubbard Says Shit Happened It Must Be True

 

[Guthrum]

Some black girl that was a Jehova's witness tried to go out with me in high school.

 

[AsModEe]

Some of those were pretty good. What's this from?

A poster I bought yesterday.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

J-hoes are annoying. And stubborn too, they just won't stop coming no matter what I do. Maybe I need to get man as robot to pee on them or something.

 

[Evil?]

Scientology - If L Ron Hubbard Says Shit Happened It Must Be True

Those nutters are a strange breed.

Edit: @ J-hoes

 

[EVERLOSTINDEADETERNITY]

Id banged a jevoahs witness and then right as I was cuming Id tell her Jesus Saves.

 

[Evil?]

 

[Dazed and Brutal]

That list is so tr00

Einstein: Shit is relative

That one made me laugh

How about one for Norse mythology.

 

[Guthrum]

For a minute it looked like he was an amputee.

 

[Evil?]

Like someone just cut his arms off to instead of removing the nails from the cross!

 

[Guthrum]

That would be a lot harder nailing a nub to a cross.

 

[Night Mare]

Id banged a jevoahs witness and then right as I was cuming Id tell her Jesus Saves.

Past tense? Current? Future? Who gives a fuck anyway, yeah?

 

[EVERLOSTINDEADETERNITY]

Past tense? Current? Future? Who gives a fuck anyway, yeah?

Sorry my lack of grasp on the english language caused me to screw up again. Bang, i meant bang.