Death
And I can also quote a movie, "The horse whisperer":
Grace: Are you afraid of anything, Tom Booker?
Tom Booker: Of growing old. Being of no use.
And to that I might add that next to where my grandmother used to live there was an old man who had lived in that house for a long time. I can't recall if he had been married, but if he had his wife had been dead for a long time. His kids never came to see him and at Christmas they didn't even come in, they just left a bouqet of flowers outside his door and the old man had just been sitting by himself watching tv for many, many years!
I fear ending like that. Just thinking about it makes me depressed.
I also fear, like some of you, wasting my life away; Lying on my deathbed realizing that I didn't get from life what I wanted. I already feel that I've wasted major time watching movies, tv and all sorts of other crap that didn't do anything for me. Just writing this is basically a waste of time. I don't get anything out of it really. I also sometimes think of something my mother said, although she didn't really anything by it; I was watching a movie in the kitchen while my parents were watching a movie in the living room. When it was over my mother came into the kitchen and I asked her if it were any good and she said "It was a waste of time" and this made me kind of depressed and aware of how many hours, days, weeks I've wasted! I also sometimes think of another episode with her; I came into the living room, having been sitting in my room all night, and my mother was watching tv (my dad wasn't home - out travelling) and asked what she was looking at and she said "a film", but in such a tone that sounded like it was something she had to not, not something she really wanted to - She didn't sound like she enjoyed it (I think it was a Danielle Steele film by the way). I've come to realize that without records, tv, video and all that entertainment what are we to do? Allmost all the time when I'm listen to records (which I do all the time) I'm surfing the net, but when the internet wasn't working I didn't know what to do. I then sometimes go to our livingroom, but my parents were just watching tv (and not something I wanted to see) and we didn't really talk. It's a cold world. Communication between people are on the brink of dying. We don't have anything to do when we don't have any medias. I can't even just go talk to my parents and hang out with them. This really makes me depressed right now. Also, most of my friends live around 7-20 kilometers away, so I just can't go hang out with them whenever I want, so most of my time is spent with listening to records, surfing the internet and watching tv. Things I could easily do without. I would rather have some human contact.
I guess I'd better stop now though as I trailed off a bit, although it kind of came from the incident with my grandmothers neighbour.