Five Finger Death Punch discussion

[Der Morgenstern]

What is the fifth finger?

 

[Onder]

The fun part is that they call it differently in the movie, they call it "The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart". So the band actually managed to homosexualize even this fucking thing. It's amazing how for some reason they have to keep everything they do horrible because they like doing really shitty things or something and even if they steal something they have to modify it so it fits into their fucking gay scheme of things. I don't understand it. I just don't fucking understand.

 

[Kreated]

so it fits into their fucking gay scheme of things

consistency is the mark of greatness!

 

[Kreated]

Is Five Finger Death Punch possibly the greatest band ever? In answering this question we must first resolve what it means to be the greatest, and indeed, assuming greatness can indeed be defined, whether it bears any meaning to deem one band as objectively the greatest.

To take a step back and analyze the reason that Five Finger Death Punch is so often mentioned in discussions of all-time greats, let us iterate that the band has sold over 10 million records worldwide, has consistently produced top-notch albums, and is a staple of the burgeoning NWOAHM scene. Their 2006 debut The Way of The Fist, in particular, garnered rave reviews and is often compared to Animal Sounds and Revolver. Moreover, nigh universally-aclaimed metal great Ozzy Osbourne has mentioned FFDP vocalist Ivan "Rage" Moody among the few he considers his modern-day successors.

Music can be broadly categorized as a Doppel Kunst, or double art form, for possessing both abstract art in the form of direct auditory stimulation, and more literal art in the form of lyrics. Five Finger Death Punch's instrumentation, song structure, and album concepts have been compared favorably with late 1970's Led Zeppelin [Metal Hammer, 2008], as well as with classical composers considered too revolutionary for their time such as Stravinsky. Lyrically, then, to take a sample of one of Five Finger Death Punch's most popular songs, War Is the Answer:

You wanna disrespect me, you little fuckin' punk?
Everything I've done to be who I am? As far as I've fuckin' come?
I'll slap you so fuckin' hard, It'll feel like you kissed a freight train.
Fuck you.
AARGHGHGHHH!!

We can see that metrical devices such as anapestic tetrameter abound in this refrain, and the use of the interjectory closing line is reminiscent of early Keats. Therefore, in that FFDP clearly excels at both aspects of the musical art, the only question remaining is whether they excel more so than other highly-touted bands such as Metallica and Black Sabbath.

In this, I believe it is ultimately up to the individual to decide. Personally, I would say that no, Five Finger Death Punch is not the greatest band ever. But as variety is spice of life, would it not, in fact, detract from their greatness if all individuals unanimously agreed them to be the greatest? And thus is it not, in fact, our very duty as fans to contribute to their admirable down-to-earth image and to provoke further debate on the topic, by proclaiming that they in fact suck?

Therefore with my deepest admiration for the band, let me be the first to say that FFDP is a load of crap, and I would never in a million years be caught listening to them.

 

[Svetovid]

For anyone who's forgotten:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G8QItjTSDA

This is the first I've heard of them, the rock I live under is pretty soundproof. But is this really metal in any way? Bad hair metal has more balls than this. I don't think this could possibly be a "gateway" band. No more than Marilyn Manson.

 

[AllShallFall]

This is the first I've heard of them, the rock I live under is pretty soundproof. But is this really metal in any way? Bad hair metal has more balls than this. I don't think this could possibly be a "gateway" band. No more than Marilyn Manson.

This song is pretty bad and they're not the best band but they're ok

 

[VladimirPocket]

I wouldn't say they are any worse than other bands in the same vein. Popular 'metal' like this, Enter Shikari, Avenged Sevenfold and Parkway Drive all suck just as bad as each other.

 

[VladimirPocket]

Oh, and before people claim to have 'never heard a worse song', may I introduce Brokencyde.



Yep. This exists, and they have a record deal. This shite also extends to Black Veil Brides, who I had the displeasure of sharing a field with at Download festival this year.

 

[Balls McHoolihan]

Oh, and before people claim to have 'never heard a worse song', may I introduce Brokencyde.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

Yep. This exists, and they have a record deal. This shite also extends to Black Veil Brides, who I had the displeasure of sharing a field with at Download festival this year.

uke: I never wanted to punch my fuckin' computer screen so hard. I know about these dipshits and bands like them. I don't understand how people think this shit is good.

 

[isberg]

uke: I never wanted to punch my fuckin' computer screen so hard. I know about these dipshits and bands like them. I don't understand how people think this shit is good.

"People" that listen to something like that is kids starting to discover their fiddly diddly and music. FFDP is not close to interresting in my book. But i guess when i one day get a kid i would rather hear FFDP all day from his room at volume 11 rather than that fucked up shit right there. If they give my future kid a start on his path to discover Slayer i really dont mind.

 

[AllShallFall]

uke: I never wanted to punch my fuckin' computer screen so hard. I know about these dipshits and bands like them. I don't understand how people think this shit is good.

Seriously!!! Some bands i just wanna fucking tackle and beat the shit out of anyone who likes them!!! damn that fucking shit pisses me off!!

 

[VladimirPocket]

My favourite part of that video is 1:56.
That's so metal. /s

This band also have a song called 'Bree Bree', which is familiar since in another thread someone complained of this being too common in modern metal...

1.Most bands have inaudible bass guitar
2.Random,Over the top refrences to gore and violence
3.Screeching!
4.Flailing aka Hardcore dancing
5.low unappealing barking
6.Drums that are to loud (unbalanced mix)
7.Really random note choice and lack of song structure revered as being technical
8.Bree Breee!
9.The need to over emphysis on anger with no rhyme or reason
10.Undeveloped crummy production

 

[Kreated]

I don't see how brokencyde is worse than other pointless mainstream pop like lady gaga. All of their lyrics and videos are equally stupid as far as I can tell

 

[Balls McHoolihan]

I don't see how brokencyde is worse than other pointless mainstream pop like lady gaga. All of their lyrics and videos are equally stupid as far as I can tell

Well when you have people and/or the band themselves referring to the music as metal, that's where the problem comes in.

 

[Kreated]

what.. the fuck? I missed that fact since I failed to notice any similarity to metal whatsoever

 

[Balls McHoolihan]

You're right. But there are people dwelling out there who say it is! Beware!

 

[vgmaster9]

I like how their song "Ashes" was used in the game Razing Storm.

 

[The Butt]

I don't see how brokencyde is worse than other pointless mainstream pop like lady gaga. All of their lyrics and videos are equally stupid as far as I can tell

Lady Gaga is actually good, fuck off haters.

 

[Hail The Wizard!]

Awful

 

[PhlegethonVeins]

I don't see how brokencyde is worse than other pointless mainstream pop like lady gaga. All of their lyrics and videos are equally stupid as far as I can tell

I can actually understand why people enjoy Lady Gaga. Brokencyde on the other hand...no, no I cannot.