FROM MR. PETER DROGBA

[Undefined]

(Got one of these fucking dumb emails today, so I had fun because I was bored...)

Dear Sir, I do appologise for approaching you in this manner but my present condition has made me to desperately seek your help. My name is Mr Peter Drogba the only son of Dr and Mrs Frederick Drogba from Cote d'ivoire. Unfortuantely life is not that so good on my side.

YOU LIVE IN AFRICA WHAT ELSE IS NEW!?

My sufferings began after the Rebels in my country killed my parents and my only sister because my father was an opposition leader to the president of my country(Ivory Coast West Africa).

+

This painful loss of my parents traumatises me everyday, because I'm living in difficulty.

I can see that. It appears the agony is so bad it has effected your spelling, but please do go on.

All the assets of my father has been forcefully taken away by my uncles.

Oh, my apologies, you're just a greedy cocksucker. I thought you ACTUALLY missed them, but it seems you just want those DOLLADOLLABILLZYO!

I can not take any action now because i'm afraid of been harmed.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW! FUCKING PUSSY!

Grow some balls an rape your uncle a new asshole, ffs.

Before the death of my father, I gained admission to read Medicine at the university of Cocody and could not complete this program due to these problems.

Wow, you can 'read medicine', am I supposed to be impressed? I mean seriously, you go to some shithole school called the university of coconuts and you dropped out because you're a little bitch... if you want my advice.. BECOME AN HERO, NAO!

Before his death he has $6.5 M USD (Six Million , Five Hundred Thousand dollars.) in a domicilary account with a bank in Cote d ' Ivoire which I am the next of kin.

I know place values asshole. I know what 6.5 million is, but thanks for breaking it down for me anyways. I'm not the one boasting about reading 8 letter words so, don't fucking talk to me like I'm the idiot. Douchebag. :Smug:

1)I need your assistance to provide a bank account where this money will be transferred to.

How about I provide you with a dick to be transferred into your ass, you fucking homo.

2)You will serve as the guardian of this funds since I am 19 years.

So what you're 19? I'm 20. And FYI, if you're too bitch to get the money back from your aids-infected uncle, what the fuck makes you think you can take it from me? Any penny you give me is fucking gone with the wind you chump.

3)You will make arrangement for me to come over to your country after the money has been transferred to you.

Yes, I'll get right on that, I REALLY want more assholes like you in my country. NOT. Only arrangements I'll be making is how to get one of you email scamming motherfuckers into a room covered in plastic to beat the living shit out of you. Only people that fall for this shit are old retards who barely know how to use Hotmail. IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I AM, HUH MOTHERFUCKER?

I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate and industrial production. I am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation for your effort after this successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas.

How about you save yourself the trouble and plan to swallow a fucking bullet. I am willing to offer you 20% of a shotgun barrel to shove up your ass as compensation for your effort to scam me and I'll pull the trigger after unsuccessful begging and pleading and spray your nominated nuts all over the ceiling.

Note that the confidentiality of this transaction would be highly appreciated in replying soonest to my private email address drogbamail2007@terra.com

IT AIN'T PRIVATE ANYMORE!

 

[Raul1989]

I remember getting something like this last year from Yassur (sp.) Arafat's wife.

 

[valkokukka]

I never get these ones, I only get viagra spam. Like I need it .

 

[Lari]

www.419eater.com more fun!

 

[Chairman Kaga]

 

[Bodomonkey]

I lol'd hard

 

[KillerGon]

MR. GASTON MIYAKUM.
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O .A)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO,
WEST AFRICA.

DEAR FRIEND,

I KNOW THAT THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE. MY NAME IS MR. GASTON MIYAKUM. I AM A SECRETARY OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR BANK OF AFRICA HERE IN OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

IT IS MY WISH TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE OF BENEFIT TO OUR BOTH FAMILIES.

DURING OUR INVESTIGATION AND AUDITING IN OUR BANK FOR THE END OF THE YEAR 2006, MY DEPARTMENT CAME ACROSS A VERY HUGE SUM OF MONEY " FIFTEEN MILLION U.S DOLLARS ($15M)" BELONGING TO A DECEASED CUSTOMER OF THE BANK WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY ON 26TH OF DEC 2003, IN A PLANE CRASH DISASTER. IN COTONUE BENIN REPUBLIC

I DON'T WANT THE MONEY TO GO INTO OUR BANK TREASURER AS AN ABANDONED FUND. SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT THE BANK CAN RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER.

PLEASE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL AS A TOP SECRET AND DELETE IT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.

UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL GIVE YOU FULL DETAILS ON HOW THE BUSINESS WILL BE EXECUTED AND ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL HAVE 35% OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED SUM IF YOU AGREE TO HANDLE THIS BUSINESS WITH ME.

BEST REGARD.
MR. GASTON MIYAKUM.
(gas_miya18@hotmail.fr)

Yay! I got another west african fag! Yuuuppi!!

 

[Muffin]

i can understand that they want money when their name is "Gaston"

 

[OvSeth]

I want one

 

[Alasdhair]

This thread made me hard!

i can understand that they want money when their name is "Gaston"

To have a name change maybe?

 

[Undefined]

^ Wtf was I on when I wrote this thread? I fucking LOL'd re-reading it though...!!

 

[CliffBurton]

WALLOFTEXT
SAGE

 

[Undefined]

STOMACHOFFLAB
LIPO!

XD Just kidding dude

 

[CliffBurton]

COCKOFPENISWTF? :O

 

[Alasdhair]

^ Wtf was I on when I wrote this thread? I fucking LOL'd re-reading it though...!!

Maybe you were drunk on the feeling of power that e-mail gave you!

 

[Undefined]

^ Dude it's not half as lulzy as the email I got telling me I won the British Lottery I WON 850 Million Pounds!!!!11!

 

[Alasdhair]

^ Dude it's not half as lulzy as the email I got telling me I won the British Lottery I WON 850 Million Pounds!!!!11!

Yeah, but as it was British, the payment would be delayed. And it would involve lots of queuing. And complimentary tea and biscuits.

I get those e-mails all the time. Sometimes I get offers to enlarge my breasts . Spam is wierd :zombie:

 

[Sock puppet]

Sometimes I get offers to enlarge my breasts

Sigged.

 

[Alasdhair]

Sigged.

!!!

 

[Leandro]

To have a name change maybe?

No, it means "big spender". Roughly.

Btw, Joe, 'traumatises' is correct spelling in british english