Fucking Jehova's

[mattt]

Well I recently moved to a new house and its out of town a bit which is cool, no freakin' neighbours!, and i can play my music as loud as fuck, play the drums, guitars etc loud as fuck which is very fucking cool BUT...I was asleep this morning until I heard my dogs barking at something so I got up to see what they were barking at and its fuckin' Jehova's! They came all the way out of town to give me all the Jehova propaganda. I can't believe it. Maybe I should start going around to houses and asking people if they are interested in joining 'The Church Of Satan'..that would be a laugh

 

[spawn]

Dogs bark at terminators too you know... Must be a connection...

 

[Spiff]

When I saw the subject header I thought you were about to talk about some weird sexual fetish you had, Haupy.

 

[Southy]

..Just go around asking them to join the church of noise, mark out the where the Jehova's live, go round at 1:00 in the morning playing something very loud very obscene, along the lines of Cannibal Corpse or Napalm Death, and ak them if they would like to join.....

 

[Winmar]

Or when they come to your door, walk out naked and start rubbing their testicles. That should do the trick.

 

[Southy]

Not Really man thats how my Dad tried to deal with them..the bastards still drop by

 

[Goreripper]

No point playing "offensive" music at them either. That makes them more determined. The best way to stop them is to keep a rifle by the door and shoot at the cunts when you see them coming.

 

[Mark]

Let them go through their whole spiel, and once they're done just say, "Sorry, I missed all of that. Can you start again?". Repeat ad nauseum.

 

[Goreripper]

Learn sign language. When they come to the door, pretend you're deaf...

 

[Winmar]

Have sex in front of them. With a donkey.

 

[Dave_Mustaine84]

no no no masturbate infront of them then cum on them

 

[salty]

This board should come up with a 101 ways to fuck with Jehovas Witness doorknockers list.

I think some good old fecal throwing wouldnt go astray. Thats right...just grab a turd and let it fly.

 

[Cyclonus]

Just tell them you are already of their faith and they needn't try to convert you.

Or throw tables at them.

 

[Winmar]

Hmmm could always try reciting the Koran to them. That might actually encourage them though - it'd give them extra incentive to "save" you.


We're on the way to creating such a list, salty! Your suggestion might well work.

 

[Southy]

Argue with them....when they start calmly disagree, scream th them that what you know is right, and tell em to fuck off!

 

[Celestial-Todd]

I still think I had the best way to get rid of Jehova's....

Listen to them for a bit then say "Oh well, while you're here, could I interest you in some literature for the Church of Later Day Satanists! Get a free soul rotting with every 5th conversion!"

They shut up and walked away!

Either that or invite them inside to talk with them... they'd probably die of shock!

 

[Winmar]

Hahaha you really did that, Todd? Great work!

 

[Celestial-Todd]

Yeah... I'm normally polite and say "sorry, I have my own beliefs" but this was the third time they'd come past our place that day!

 

[MRBEAST]

Or when they come to your door, walk out naked and start rubbing their testicles. That should do the trick.

thats how i got my last boyfriend...

 

[Southy]

so your last boyfreind was a Jehova's? no wonder ya got rid of him