Funny Lyrics

[Baroque]

In a filthy barroom
She was shooting pool with friends
I sent someone over and
I watched her shake her head she said
If I wanted to meet her
I had to come at least that far
I introduced myself to a look that would kill
She sneered I know who you are
Oh yeah that´s right climb on and hold tight
She is all I want in a girl
We took off on a rocket ride
It felt like it would never end
I started movin´ in on over
And I watched her tilt her head she said
If I´m gonna lay it on her

It´d better be more than just tonight
At that moment I knew after I kissed you
I´ve known you all my life she said
Oh yeah that´s right climb on and hold tight
She is all I want in a girl
Oh yeah that´s right I like that she´s all spice
I am all she wants in my girl
All I want all I need all I want all that I need
All I want all I need all I want all that I need
All I want is a girl she is all that I want
All I want is a girl she is all that I want
All I want is a girl she is all that I want
All I want is a girl she is all that I want
All I want all I need all I want all that I need
All I want all I need she is all that I want

C'mon Dave, wtf man.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

It's Christmas morning and You're so glad
Gonna get some presents from Mom and Dad
You take a look under the Christmas tree
A very special present You now can see

The special present can't wait 'til later
In your excitement You rip off the paper
Suddenly You notice a very strange smell
It's from the present, You can tell

Merry Shitmas!

Santa's very special big surprise
A sausage of shit surrounded by flies
Merry shitmas, stupid child
This is what you get for being nice and mild

Very Merry Shitmas!

 

[Werckmeister Harmonies]

Mostly GG Allins refreshing poetry comes to mind.

Don't ever trust authority
Pigs, parents and our society
You got to play by your own, own set of rules
Fuck the law, fuck the law, fuck the law, burn the fuse

Mr. Pig Man, you are nothing
Nothing, sealed behind your badge
Always snorting out lies and deceits
Pawned away, pawned away to your boring society

Fuck authority, fuck authority
Kill the president and seniority
Fuck authority, fuck authority
Lets murder a society

Little pig man behind judge's robe
I can't wait to see you die
You piece, you piece of puppet property shit
You're nothing but a lie so full of shit

If you live nothing, you are nothing
Dissolved by the stagnating masses
I say its time to say fuck the law
Kill, kill, kill, kill their motherfucking asses

Fuck authority, fuck authority
Kill the president and seniority
Fuck authority, fuck authority
Lets murder a society

'Cause when I fall
Because when I fall, I fall hard
Going down with everything
Going down with everything that I am

I pull my pud until it bleeds
I masturbate on toilet seats
Girls can't give me the satisfaction
I fuck my fist to the rage of passion

I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
Fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself

I like the way it fits in my hand
Feel the cum through my burning head
I like to fly it on my chest
I fuck myself 'cause I'm the best

I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
Fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
And no one else

I love myself
I wanna fuck myself

I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself

I beat myself until I'm raw
Come and come 'till there's no more
My hand is my favorite whore
Stick my finger up my ass, beat it some more

I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
Fuck myself
I wanna fuck myself
And no one else
And no one else
I wanna fuck myself
I wanna fuck myse

And this piece of Westboro Baptist theology from Slayer:

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocrisy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

God Hates Us All, God Hates Us All
You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race

Homicide - suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
He fuckin' hates me

Pessimist, terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world fucking dies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow

Man made virus infecting the world
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the fuck up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy

I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation - separation
Just me in my world of enemies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple

I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place

 

[SweptbackFlame]

For me I find these lyrics funny as shit.


Turn this shit up loud and bang your head don’t be a fucking bitch
Yeahhh its 2014 and everyone around you is a critic and a life judge
You want to be accepted and have tons of fake friends and win a gold medal because you are fucking awesome
You talk shit on the internet because you’re a badass and nobody can touch you
You wanna break the rules and eat pizza skip school, fuck yeah that’s the goddamn truth
Yeah life is motherfucking awesome, thank you for buying this CD I want to kiss your fucking lips, put money in your tits and watch you dance with pure joy because this is the best song you’ve ever heard
Holy shit, you guys should go back to your old sound
Your new shit fuckin sucks I liked you guys before you got big
Your band ruined fuckin metal core and your lyrics are fucking gay
I hate you so fucking much but I still pay attention to every word you say
10 years later and we’re still a fucking band, if you’ve ever been a hater I’m your number one fan
Think about the shit that’s always coming out your dirty mouth
Five wild motherfuckers straight up out the dirty south
Talk is cheap as fuck and everybody knows your words are shit
We will never give a fuck so what
Take it to the basics and erase the fact we made it
We’re just partyin and travelin and you’re a fuckin hater
Welcome to the party fuck bitches see you later

 

[whiskey funeral]

Any Barbatos song but this one came to mind as soon as I read the thread title

Dick Is Fucking Big


Dick is fucking big
Pussy is fucking tight
Anal fuck is waiting
Big dick's might

Dick is fucking big
Fuck off shaving pussy

Put it in bitch mouth
It will makes you to ill
Sexual metal holocaust will
Crush poser gay!

Dick is fucking big
Fuck off shaving pussy

I will please entry anus
Oh my god! Give me spicy pussy
Pussy is good smell
Shit is bad smell

Dick is fucking big
Fuck off shaving pussy

 

[Slayed Necros]

Sexual metal holocaust will
Crush poser gay!

Probably the best lyrics in the history of heavy metal.

 

[Serjeant Grumbles]

Fuck off shaving pussy

WHAT?!

 

[whiskey funeral]

Any Barbatos song has similar quality lyrics.

 

[Serjeant Grumbles]

It's not the quality that irks me; I'm just not too keen on the viewpoint being expressed.