I just automate. The absolute best case scenario with gating is that it's almost as good as automating.
I'd go insane without a gate on my toms. Dat ring.
depending on the band obviously, I'll address the tom ringing as much as possible at tracking. you can do a surprising amount with tuning/placement/damping to control it. usually the resonant heads with kick that need most attention. you can usually get it to the point where any ringing compliments the overall sound of the kit.
tightening up those kit resonances can really do wonders to the overall sound of the kit.