Actually, I am self employed. Doesn't mean I can leave my hair long.
If I have to go to a meeting, I can get away with going in a pair of jeans (although it depends on who I am meeting with, I do have to wear a suit or at least dress/casual sometimes). But they wouldn't listen to a word I say if I had long hair.
Granted, my hair is very thick and really looks unkept when it gets long. I look more like a serial killer than a metalhead, which is another reason I don't grow my hair out.
I don't think it is narcissistic or gay to worry about your hair. The way someone's hair looks makes or breaks them. You could wear a certain ensemble, everything goes well together, clothes look clean, no wrinkles, but you have a shitty haircut, you will not look good at all. Or you could dress like a bum but have a nice haircut, you won't look like a bum.
It also has a lot to do with facial hair. A lot of people tend to neglect that.