Hand of Joonas

[(__Joonas__)]

I need five people for my elite team, who will support my divine quest for atmospheric extreme metal on this forum. Who will join?

They will know me as Lord Joonas.

Mission is bluntly:

1) silence the trolls
2) prove RRF fans wrong
3) reclaim the female fans

 

[nunofrg]

LOOOL ill follow you my lord!!!

 

[(__Joonas__)]

You're now knighted. Rise, my son.

 

[Arystar]

let me note how the solution to point 3 has already been given in your Signature

"If even the boys can't stand the turmoil and narcissism Joonas brings on his path, then no wonder the girls are gone."

 

[(__Joonas__)]

I believe the true reason lies in the unsexy nature of RRF, that's when the chicks left. No atmosphere = no chicks. Without exception girls who enjoy thrash and punk are asexual.

 

[iPot]

1) silence the trolls

Come at me bro.

2) prove RRF fans wrong

I wish you luck, you're going to need it because the delusions caused by RRF-syndrome are severe and overcoming them is far beyond human capability. But you, Chosen One, have the ancient power inside that will spread the atmosphere and trees and other Joonas-stuff all over their weak delusion-ridden minds.

3) reclaim the female fans

Impossible, even for Lord Joonas. Proving RRF fans wrong is a piece of cake compared to this.

 

[(__Joonas__)]

The only reason COB had girl fans was because Alexi was so wild and yummy and the song Everytime I Die.

I don't know what happened, but... the lake is back... the trees are back... even some of the atmosphere...

 

[predator2353]

Lord Joonas, thou should start the crusade for Everytime I Die II. And with this done, our Empire should succeed and reclaim the female audience. Prepare, for it is nearly time brethren crusaders!

 

[Norbix]

First you must userp the king of trolls.

 

[FridgePack]

I can't belive it. Left for some months and this is what I meet. Fuck this shit- i'm out

 

[(__Joonas__)]

Lord Joonas, thou should start the crusade for Everytime I Die II. And with this done, our Empire should succeed and reclaim the female audience. Prepare, for it is nearly time brethren crusaders!

Alexi tried to make a romantic chorus for Dead Man's Hand but it (the chorus) ended up sounding retarded. It's the beauty and atmosphere and the unshamed emotion in Everytime I Die that does the magic. Scream for Silence is the beautiful song on Halo of Blood.

Predator stands by my side as the son of Odin born of wolf.

 

[MaximHateCrew]

Nice new thread keep going!

 

[mutran]

I was born to spread the atmoshphere COB stuff over the world.
I'm a fan of Joonas reviews but this is serious?

Joonas, you should do a track by track of ALL COB's songs (not covers) and have a vacation from this forum for a while. Or do the fucking mega review of HOB which I've been waiting since the leak of the album >=)

 

[(__Joonas__)]

I can't do that mega review at this moment, because it's still too close to have nostalgia formed over it.

But I can tell you I like songs 2, 3, 4, 5, 9. Other five songs I don't really care about. Halo of Blood is such a great track, Scream for Silence is melodic and catchy, Transference is cool, Bodom Blue Moon has that "lake Bodom young gangsters drinking under a bridge with baseball bats" feel, All Twisted has such a gem chorus. It's striving to the right direction musically and artistically, but it still doesn't capture the potential perfectly. I'm satisfied with it, particularly Halo of Blood is a great track, but the album doesn't quite reach the pedestal of Follow the Reaper and Hatebreeder. I'd like still more epic and dark music and more sinister vocals. It should be 100% about the mysterious lake Bodom, the Reaper, etc. There's still some material that's not living up to the promise of the artwork. Stay on the dark, mysterious plot and forget about thrash songs born of ego rant.

 

[mutran]

It's impossible to reach the pedestal of Follow the Reaper & Hatebreeder BUT after doing BD and RRF this album is a really great improvement.

What do you think about that track by track of the past discography? I would love it.

 

[Selliebean]

I'm a female fan. Been a fan since the beginning. Your assumption that no girls like RRF is faulty. Was it their best? No. But I still listened the Hell out of it. Halo Of Blood is, IMO, right up there with Follow The Reaper. Female fans do still exist, we're just a little harder to find.

 

[EvilKatarn]

God damn it, I wanted to be Joonas' First Knight.

Fuck this. If I'm not the first of the roundtable then go get fucked.

 

[(__Joonas__)]

There's no such order in the cult. Those who oppose me will have their rotting corpses forever raped by the necrophilian hellhounds of Bodom.

 

[predator2353]

I was born to spread the atmoshphere COB stuff over the world.
I'm a fan of Joonas reviews but this is serious?

Then thou should listen to Lord Joonas, and him only. He is the chosen one and he will lead this crusade through the sands of time and make our arival at the holy grounds of Follow the Reaper II.

I'm a female fan.

SILENCE YOU IMPOSTOR! For this is impossible! Those lands have been long abandoned by the female presence. Lord Joonas curse me if this is true!

 

[mutran]

Is in the hands of Alexia and cia. to do such albums again. We can only express our opinions over and over till a new album.