If any of you are looking for last minute gift ideas for me,
I have one.
I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight.
I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on melody lane with
all the other rich people.
And I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head.
And I want to look him straight in the eye and tell him what a lying, no-good, rotten, four-fleshing, lowlife, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat assed, bug eyed, stiff legged, spotty lipped, worm headed, sack of monkey shit he is!!!
Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the tilenol?
Where's Eddie, he usually eats these goddamn things.
Not recently Clark, he read that squirrels are high in chlorestral.
Where do you think you're going?
No one's leaving, no one's walking out on this fun old fashioned family christmas. No,NO, we're all in this together. This is a full blown, 4 alarm holiday emergency here.
We're going to press on and we are going to have the hip, hop,hopping christmas since bing crosby tap danced with danny fuckin kaye and when santa squeezes his fat fuckin white ass down that chimney tonight, he is going to find the jolliest of assholes this side of the nut house
