Hey, is there any way (computer related)..

riposte on you! the poor beast will die without during such a procedure! without fonts, it will never be the same, and neither will yours—thus abusing two lives!
 
i hear that if you twirl around 12 times in front of the mirror at midnight while sniffing "fasting tea" and dabbing the ink of any hearst newspaper on your tongue, upon the 13th spin a haunted font will appear in your keyboard...