How does one become a 'better' and happier person?

Nitronium Blood

Nitronium Blood

UM BOARDS' JESTER
Dec 28, 2001
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- Some say therapy. I think that is a waste of time and money. Years and years of sitting in a couch with ol' Freud scribbling away while he listens to you dribble on endlessly is not my cup of Milo.

- Some say "think positive and happy thoughts". It would work if only I could bring myself to constantly think those thoughts.

- Some say "surround yourself with 'positive and happy' people". Sounds fair, but unfortunately I don't really know any. And that is met by "so get to know some LOL". Oh boy...

- Some say "purchase motivational tapes/cds". Yep, done that... listened to a bit and now I don't have the motivation to listen to the rest.

- Some say "just ingnore what you are feeling... focus on the task at hand instead of feeling all the time". I wish I could switch off my 'emotion' chip in my brain. Unfortunately I ain't Data from Star Trek.

What is a boy to do?

I apologise if my questions seem too 'boo hoo wrist slasher emo goth'. I'm not, and my question is sincere.
 
Its best not to ignore the feelings like what razorjack said. Just do things that make you feel better about yourself, like for example, music. Or even start to do something that you have wanted to do for awhile.
 
It's sad how rampant clinical depression is becoming. In terms of dealing with it, it seems different things work for different people. A lot of the drugs tend to have nasty side effects, as some of my friends discovered. I don't think I'm clinically depressed, but it does come and hit me hard every once in a while. What I do is work out... 7 days a week. It sort of mixes both the 'focus on the task at hand' approach with the natural euphoria you get from working out. Chances are if you also see a psychologist they'll tell you to suplement the drug-use with regular excercise and such. It's a great natural way to start feeling better in general.

Aside from that, if you play any instrument, focus on that. Just occupy yourself with as much as you can so you don't get the time to think things over too much.
 
i was depressed for a while during my illness and the first few months of recovery from surgery... i never was before and haven't been since.
 
Hey thanks guys for your suggestions. I and I apologise if my thread made me seem like an 'emo goth' or whatever.

James Murphy said:
i was depressed for a while during my illness and the first few months of recovery from surgery... i never was before and haven't been since.
Click to expand...

What steps did you personally take to make the depression fade away?
 
Hey its ok to ask for help man. Even the best of us go through rough patches where it seems near impossible to break out, but you can break out and you will get better. You have people here to help you, and Im sure you have others too. And dont worry...Your not an emo goth.
 
WingsofRedemption said:
Fuck drugs and therapy I found it best to build a bridge and then get the fuck over it!
Click to expand...

Easier said than done.

Your brain basically works like a big electrical grid with signals being fired from place to place via the neuro transmitters. Clinical Depression occurs when there is a chemical inbalance in the brian and, hence, neuro transmitters in your brain being to malfunction.

I hate seeing people who are generally depressed being labelled as attention seeking or weak when they are actually suffering from a disease that is as as real as AIDS or Parkinsons.

Obviously, you do get people whose problems are purely based on some past life trauma but I never like to see depression under estimated even in 'emo' or 'goth' kids just incase they aren't faking it.
 
I used to be rather depressed. Two of my Great Grandparents passed away in the late 90s within a year of each other. Then in 2001 or 2002 my Grandmother got cancer which fluxuated and passed on in 2003. Then her brother, my Great Uncle pasted away from cancer in 2004. The thing is, the cancer didn't bother me. I mean, it did hurt to see them the way that they were, but I lived far enough away that I didn't see them on a regular basis, just on holidays and special visits. The whole time my Grandma and Uncle had cancer and we'd get an update on them, I wouldn't be sad, even if it was a bad one. I just went on with a smile and said that I knew things would get better, because really, what good would it do me to go "There's no hope. They're going to die." do for anyone? I just tried to be optimistic and hope that it was going to turn around, while believing it.

After they'd pass though, I don't know. It's just kind of like, I'd been let down.

And I ended up getting depressed. But eventually, I started thinking about why I was depressed and something just clicked. I basically realized that I had no reason to be sad. It wasn't doing me any good, only making myself and the people around me miserable. It wasn't going to bring them back or make their passing seem any better. So, just like that, I figured that if being miserable wouldn't help at all, I might as well be happy and try to make the best out of whatever the situation was. So, pretty much, I suddenly found that being an optimist, or at least not a downer, would do me a lot better in the long run and I'd feel good about myself.

I'm not sure this will help you, but it was nice for me to be able to write out.
 
Hey Nitro - Sorry to hear of the troubles Bro!!

I'd have to agree with the folks saying that ya need to follow your heart and find something you truly enjoying spending your time doing.

In my case it was a job that was causing problems. I had moved here from another state to get work, and before I had this job, saw it as a natural career starting point, and was totally psyched to have landed it.

Hadn't been enjoying the work since about 8 weeks into the job now I think of it, but was constantly being told "that's life - we all hate our jobs", and "stick at it until you can find something better", and besides, was gonna buy all this kickarse guitar gear with the wages, so HAD to carry on.

So about two months into the "disliking period", I got sick, with what I now know was in inflammation in my inner ear, causing vertigo and nausea and all kinds of bollocks. Would hit me randomly as well. At most I was told this should take 3 months to clear itself up, as it was basically a virus.

Beared with it, working basically part time hours for several months, basically from not being able to go in so often. Felt TERRIBLE, and maybe June, was starting to actually dread having to go in there. At this point I had two rounds of the flu in a row as well. Started getting nausea before I even made it into work, and was just feelin low as well. On my second last day coming in on the tram I had to hold in vomit.

Something was obviously up at that point, and my theory was that my hatred of that job was becoming really unhealthy for me, and causing or at least contributing to and aggrevating all the problems I had been having. When the doc asked what my job was and I told him, he totally agreed with what I said, and that he had seen it before.

Said to leave immediately and rest which I did. Took a month to visit my family interstate, did a gig there. Taking it pretty easy.

The real suprising thing was that, during my 9 months on the job, I had been playing less and less guitar, and when I look back on it, this probably contributed to the stress and "low" I was feeling. Hadn't written a song since October last year (a few weeks before I started), and the day after that doctor visit, I wrote three new songs and put em on 4 track. The shit was pouring out of me.

I knew right then that we had found the problem, and while I'm friggen broke again, haven't been happier in a LONG time.

So I guess the moral to the story is that sometimes a change is needed, and it may not be obvious to ya at the time what it is. Is the right thing to ask about this like you've done, and I hope what I've said is relevant.

GOOD LUCK, and sing out if ya wanna talk ever :)
 
I sincerely thank each and every one of you fine people for taking the time to really share your thoughts and your suggestions.

Thank you all. :)

(Eat Pop Slop, mate that must have taken a while to type all that out so I thank you a little bit extra, haha :D)

You guys rule. Seriously.
 
DiscipleOfThePit said:
Easier said than done.

Your brain basically works like a big electrical grid with signals being fired from place to place via the neuro transmitters. Clinical Depression occurs when there is a chemical inbalance in the brian and, hence, neuro transmitters in your brain being to malfunction.

I hate seeing people who are generally depressed being labelled as attention seeking or weak when they are actually suffering from a disease that is as as real as AIDS or Parkinsons.

Obviously, you do get people whose problems are purely based on some past life trauma but I never like to see depression under estimated even in 'emo' or 'goth' kids just incase they aren't faking it.
Click to expand...

My main beef about drugs and depression is some careless doctors. I have seen a few people in my life become victim to pharacutital drugs for depression and made them 50 times worse. I think that drugs for depression of any sort really should be a very last resort.

Sorry if I appeared harsh in reply, but I come from the Henry Rollins school of thought on some issues. Be Stong, Stay Strong!

These lyrics have been bringing me back to earth for many years now...hope they help some of you:

Rollins Band - Low Self Opinion

I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what’s on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind

You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize yourself
And all those around you

The hatred you project
Does nothing to protect you
You leave yourself so exposed
You want to open up
When someone says
Lighten up
You find all your doors closed
Get yourself a break from self rejection
Try some introspection
And you just might find
It’s not so bad and anyway
At the end of the day
All you have is yourself and your mind
The self hatred that blinds you
Binds you grinds you keeps you down
The world falls down around you
You build up walls around you
You wear disgust like a crown

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you seeing me
You’d see yourself so differently
Believe me

I know the self doubt that runs inside your mind
I know the self that treats you so unkind

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see things differently
I assure you
 
Check out "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama.

I've been reading into alot of things about buddishm, after reading Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner, and I truly believe the approach buddishts take towards yourself, is the best and only way anyone should go about feeling/believing/understanding.
 
Nitronium Blood said:
(Eat Pop Slop, mate that must have taken a while to type all that out so I thank you a little bit extra, haha :D)
Click to expand...


No problem at all dude.

Probably did me some good to talk about it somewhere too.

Mean that very much that if ya wanna talk, hit me up though.

Thing I found with my situation was that when I finally did let someone know about my problems and talked with them (in this case it was my supervisor - great guy that I got along well with - into metal and plays guitar etc, so felt comfortable with him), it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Was really amazed how much better I felt right away.
 
Nitronium Blood said:
I sincerely thank each and every one of you fine people for taking the time to really share your thoughts and your suggestions.

Thank you all. :)

(Eat Pop Slop, mate that must have taken a while to type all that out so I thank you a little bit extra, haha :D)

You guys rule. Seriously.
Click to expand...

No problem, man! I enjoyed it.
 
For me, the thing that eventually helped me the most was adding more things to my life which I care about and have passion for.

Around 3 or so years ago I got into a state of immense depression, even to the point of attempting suicide which luckily i did not succeed in. It had been building up for several years before hand but the thing that triggered it off was loosing the one thing that I cared about in my life. Once you loose that one your world is empty which is why i probably fell into such a sorry state.

I tried the pills, the shrinks, pretty much everything really. But it the end it was just finding new things to give my life reason again. The main one being guitar, as i did play before the badness happened. But hadn't dedicated my life to it, and had no overall aim for what i wanted to do with it. This has since changed. Also getting more and more into metal helped me, as i would try to find a new band every week to help influence me and help further my education in the scene. The last thing that has also really helped me is researching Satanism again. I dabbled in this in the past but never really went far with it. But now it’s a very important part of my life and has, and continues to have a very positive effect on my life.

Obviously, each person has different ways of overcoming their demons, but i just thought i say what helped me out.

Hope you eventually feel better mate
 
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