I got a new kitten...

[Dead Winter]

Use a shotgun.

Don't have a permit. Plus, I live in a courtyard with other people around.

There's a Roman guy next to me in the Italian military, and he's got guns. I've called in a black op or two with him and he's always carried out the mission flawlessly with no witnesses, . We're currently looking for the father of all these offspring so the bloodline will end there.

 

[Captain Beard]

1. Get a permit.
2. Get some golf clubs and swing for the green if not 1.

 

[Dead Winter]

I'm assuming his old bitch neighbor is a) crazy(she has cats), and b) hates people with motorcycles.

HAHAHA HOLY FUCK....

Yer close. She doesn't have any cats, she just feeds the ones who come to her house. You tell her to do something about them and she says, "But they're not mine!" She's bi-polar, deaf, and crippled, so I can't really give her too much of a hard time. She's French, too...maybe she is just an old bitty.

She's so sweet and nice and "forces" you to drink some of her awesome wine her family sends her from France sometimes, and then the next day she's Dragonlady. One day she loved my motorcycle and the next she was complaining that the fumes come in her window when I start it up. (It's true, actually. I need to move my bike from under the awning when I crank it up because our houses are connected.)

It's great playing guitar, however. Play as loud as you want...she can't hear anything. The old lady across the courtyard is deaf, too, and the Roman guy...well...he's Roman. He doesn't give a fuck about anything. Has a stripper girlfriend, too, and a big fuckin' Rottweiler. My cat kicked the Rotty's ass one time and now he's scared to death of her, .

 

[Shpongled]

2. Get some golf clubs and swing for the green.

Burtal.

 

[Chromatose]

Burtal.

 

[Captain Beard]

Burt Reynolds in his improvised rendition of hammer smashed face using a golf club, a tomcat, and Nathan Explosion singing backup vocals?!

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

that's a mighty cute kitten you have there

edit: his feet are so big! aww

 

[Chromatose]

Burt Reynolds in his improvised rendition of hammer smashed face using a golf club, a tomcat, and Nathan Explosion singing backup vocals?!

Now that's burtal.

 

[Dead Winter]

Burt Reynolds in his improvised rendition of hammer smashed face using a golf club, a tomcat, and Nathan Explosion singing backup vocals?!

Holy shit that's an awesome image.

 

[Dead Winter]

that's a mighty cute kitten you have there

edit: his feet are so big! aww

Thanks! It's hilarious when he walks! He's got this little gut and these big, huge clodhopping feet.

 

[Malergion]

I am a dog man, myself. My dog Lilith used to eat cats.

I actually felt bad for the cats, but I didn't know about it until I caught her and Marduk playing with a skull.

 

[Captain Beard]

I recall seeing that thing on your shelf. I said, "This a cat skull?" or similar to.

 

[Malergion]

Yessir: I still have it somewhere. If somebody finds the box it's in, they'll probably assume I'm a sociopath.

 

[Captain Beard]

Worry if they bring up the MacDonald Triad. "Oh my god! Does he wet the bed? Does he like FIRE?!"

 

[Malergion]

Extrapolate on MacDonald please. My Wikipedia finger is sore.

 

[Captain Beard]

Some serial killers display one or more of what are known as the "MacDonald triad" of warning signs in childhood. These are:

* Fire starting, or arson invariably for the thrill of destroying things, for gaining attention, or for making the perpetrator feel more powerful.
* Cruelty to animals (related to "zoosadism"). Many children may be cruel to animals, such as pulling the legs off spiders, but future serial killers often kill larger animals, like dogs and cats, and frequently for their solitary enjoyment rather than to impress peers.
* Bed wetting beyond the age when children normally grow out of such behavior.

 

[Malergion]

*oooh, oooh* My brother has 3 out of 3.

 

[Captain Beard]

He killed large animals and routinely set fires?

 

[Malergion]

I know he has tortured small animals, set fires, wet the bed past age(though nowadays it's due to drunkenness more than anything), and lies compulsively.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

Awwwww cute kittyyyyyy.