i have a few favorite words i fixate on every week
- Thread starter minxnim
- Start date
avi
W3RK3R
FalseTodd
Skirt Wizard
Yes, putz, shlong (duh), and shlemiel also reference the penis.
Here's a joke about the duality of the word "shmuck":
"Mr. Levy, a widower, retires to Miami Beach. Being a shy sort, and not knowing anyone there, he has a lonely time of it. Every day he sits and stares out into the water.
Another man about his age usually sits near him on the beach. This guy is always in the middle of a large crowd of people, telling jokes and laughing.
Finally Levy gets up the courage to speak to him.
'Excuse me, mister, but you seem to have a knack for meeting people. No one pays any attention to me. Can you give me some advice on what I can do about it?'
'Sure,' says the man. 'The first step is getting noticed. Now, how can we make people notice you? Hmmmmm....I've got it! The circus is in town this week. Go down there and rent a camel. Ride up and down Collins Avenue on it for a couple of days. Everybody who sees you will wonder 'who is that man?' Soon you'll be recognized everywhere you go, and you'll have more friends than you know what to do with.'
This seems like a slightly bizarre plan to Mr. Levy, but he doesn't have any better idea, so he goes and rents the camel, puts on a safari jacket, Bermuda shorts and a pith helmet, and rides up and Collins Avenue.
The next morning, when he arrives in the garage of his hotel to get back on the camel, he discovers that it's been stolen and immediately calls the police.
'A camel?!?!' says the policeman on the phone. 'Well, I guess I'll just make a report out like on a car. What color was it?'
'I don't know' Levy says 'Camel-colored, I guess."
'Did it have one hump or two?'
'Who can remember details like that?' Levy asks in exasperation. 'One hump. No, wait....two....no....I think it had one hump.'
'Was it male or female?' the policeman asks.
'I don't know! How can you expect me.....Wait a minute....it was a male.'
'You sure about that?'
'Positive' says Levy.
'Look mister, how can you be so sure what sex your camel was when you can't even remember how many humps it had, or what color it was?'
'Well, it just occured to me -- as I was riding along Collins Avenue, people pointing and saying, 'Look at the schmuck on that camel!'
Here's a joke about the duality of the word "shmuck":
"Mr. Levy, a widower, retires to Miami Beach. Being a shy sort, and not knowing anyone there, he has a lonely time of it. Every day he sits and stares out into the water.
Another man about his age usually sits near him on the beach. This guy is always in the middle of a large crowd of people, telling jokes and laughing.
Finally Levy gets up the courage to speak to him.
'Excuse me, mister, but you seem to have a knack for meeting people. No one pays any attention to me. Can you give me some advice on what I can do about it?'
'Sure,' says the man. 'The first step is getting noticed. Now, how can we make people notice you? Hmmmmm....I've got it! The circus is in town this week. Go down there and rent a camel. Ride up and down Collins Avenue on it for a couple of days. Everybody who sees you will wonder 'who is that man?' Soon you'll be recognized everywhere you go, and you'll have more friends than you know what to do with.'
This seems like a slightly bizarre plan to Mr. Levy, but he doesn't have any better idea, so he goes and rents the camel, puts on a safari jacket, Bermuda shorts and a pith helmet, and rides up and Collins Avenue.
The next morning, when he arrives in the garage of his hotel to get back on the camel, he discovers that it's been stolen and immediately calls the police.
'A camel?!?!' says the policeman on the phone. 'Well, I guess I'll just make a report out like on a car. What color was it?'
'I don't know' Levy says 'Camel-colored, I guess."
'Did it have one hump or two?'
'Who can remember details like that?' Levy asks in exasperation. 'One hump. No, wait....two....no....I think it had one hump.'
'Was it male or female?' the policeman asks.
'I don't know! How can you expect me.....Wait a minute....it was a male.'
'You sure about that?'
'Positive' says Levy.
'Look mister, how can you be so sure what sex your camel was when you can't even remember how many humps it had, or what color it was?'
'Well, it just occured to me -- as I was riding along Collins Avenue, people pointing and saying, 'Look at the schmuck on that camel!'
XzanderX
shut it
avi
W3RK3R
XzanderX
shut it
avi
W3RK3R
XzanderX
shut it
avi
W3RK3R
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
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