i just had my annual performance review at work

[Baliset]

boss: as you will see, 'needs imporvement' and 'unstaisfactory' are not in the vocabulary for your review.

luckily they did not call into question my extended period of time viewing ultimatemetal.com,

 

[FalseTodd]

"...so we had to think up some more adjectives."

 

[xfer]

"we do, however, have some 'sucks' problems"

 

[FalseTodd]

"We came up with 'unsatisfactorable', 'needs improvementality', 'unnacceptabliferous', and 'notverygoodful'."

 

[chupe666]

"Office morale is much better now that you have a door to privatize your afternoon nudity."

 

[FalseTodd]

 

[xfer]

"actually, your performance is poor at best, but an arcane loophole in the performance rubric adds a point to your total score for every metal CD stacked on your desk"

 

[chupe666]

Greg's response: "Don't you mean 'Darkane'?"

 

[FalseTodd]

"Actually it's more of a grant sponsored by the Steve Vai Foundation."

 

[xfer]

"oh, and based the size of that stack and your final score...let me show you to your new office, Mister President-for-Life"

 

[Baliset]

Boss: So Greg, do you have any questions or comments on your review?

Me: So long suckers!(starts running towards the door)

Boss:Greg, you have to sign your performance review first.

 

[chupe666]

i really think the best career move would be to have a Playboy in your hands exactly like your avatar (same grin) every time someone walks in/knocks on your door. not a different one- the same issue for like months on end.

 

[Baliset]

or i should just be seen walking into my office for lunch, playboy in hand, and walk out after an hour grumbling loudly about losing jake's "contest."

 

[avi]

this is the best thread in weeks. carry on.

 

[Stultus]

boss: as you will see, 'needs imporvement' and 'unstaisfactory' are not in the vocabulary for your review.

"...but that's because we have a new grading system, and as you will see, 'A', 'B', 'C' and 'D' are nowhere on your review paper either."

 

[IanDork107]

this is the best thread in weeks. carry on.

I guess Opeth board losers must have a sense of humor after all....this thread made me laugh out loud.

 

[FalseTodd]

or i should just be seen walking into my office for lunch, playboy in hand, and walk out after an hour grumbling loudly about losing jake's "contest."

It takes you an hour? Man, I'd get bored.

 

[Novembers Paul]

This is a true story... Last years performance review for me, I was told I do exceptional work, but they were only going to give me 50% of what my increase would have been because they felt I'm not enough of a "team" player, because I "didn't attend the company picnic."

I hate my job.

 

[Steve]

Next year take advantage of the free food.

That really is bullshit. They just look for anything so they can't give you money.... time to steal office supplies

 

[BigFakeSmile]

i though this said anal review