the song seemed to be a little long and suffered from the same thing I feel that the Vital Remains last disc suffered from ... too much vocals in the track ... it seems like they never end ... let the song breathe a litlle.
Are those vocals distorted? Can't really say I'm a big fan of that vocal sound nor the sound of the music itself, but you seem to know what it is that you're striving for, and that's really good. Keep it up.