I love THIS man!

Thought that it was Arch but had to make sure.

Have a copy of Fate's Warning Awaken The Guardian but the quality is so low that it's honestly really hard to hear the vocals.

Do you know if you can still get it on CD or if they have had any re-releases of it and other early albums of Fates Warning?
 
Yeah you can get it on CD. It was recently reissued as a 2cd/DVD pack. The DVD is one of the only live recordings of the Arch era there is. The quality is absolutely terrible and for fanboys only.

LOL at Betsy!
 
Side note: thank fuck that no one has posted John Farnam here as best singer.
Scroll up :p

Haha! Before Ferret gets in with a bunch of shit that makes no sense i shall answer this question.

Don't listen to him. It only doesn't make sense to him because he goes on second hand rumours and gossip so it's hard for him to follow what actually happened. Allow me to put my Serious Hat™ on for a moment and explain...

John Arch was actually a cabinet maker first and foremost. He began his apprenticeship with the US Army during World War I but was discharged soon after for being a conscientious objector to showering with other men. He completed his apprenticeship under the guidance of Chuck Norris in the late early 1920's then went on to work with Norris for various silent film studios.

Norris was already an accomplished singer at the time and his influence clearly rubbed off on Arch as he began dabbling in music himself. He couldn't afford a guitar so he tried building one himself but fell short with many of his measurements and only had room for four strings on the finished product. Undeterred, he approached Norris with the instrument and offered to start a band. Norris declared that thin strings are for pussies and insisted Arch re-string his four-string guitar with industrial-grade braided steel cable and thus the bass guitar was born. The two formed the band Spock's Beard as a jazz/reggae duet and would write and rehearse songs together during their lunch breaks at the silent film studios.

His first big break came when he was building the sets for the first Care Bears movie "Care Bears: Fatez Warning". Chuck Norris was signed to play the role of himself as the arch villain in the movie when he broke both his legs as the result of a violent case of diarrhoea only days before filming was to commence. As the only other person immediately available with suitable cabinet making skills, John Arch was thrust into the lead villain role and filming was completed both on budget and on schedule.

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John Arch as "Chuck Norris" in a trailer for the 1940's silent movie "Care Bears: Fatez Warning". Source: www.johnarch.com

The instant fame and success Arch achieved with the Care Bears movie went straight to his head and saw him leave Spock's Beard and cabinet making to pursue a career on screen. He starred in many movies throughout the years - his most notable lead roles including "This Is Spinal Tap", "Once Were Warriors", "Sleepless In Seattle" and "Snow White". Destiny caught up with Arch when, during the casting for the movie "Terminator", he found out Chuck Norris would be playing the arch villain role opposite him. After what was initially a very awkward meeting the two decided to bury the hatchet and reform Spock's Beard.

Rehearsals went well but when the time came to play their first gig together since 1934 an argument ensued when Arch insisted on singing. Norris was furious and stormed out of the venue leaving Arch to perform solo for the entire set, disbanding Spock's Beard immediately after. The two kept their personal grievances out of their professional careers, continuing the filming of "Terminator", when Norris stole the time machine used in the movie and travelled back in time determined to steal John Arch's identity and ruin his name. He began by forming a band mockingly called "Fates Warning" in reference to the movie which launched the real Arch's career. The doppelganger band released three albums - "Night on Bröcken" (1984), "The Spectre Within" (1985) and "Awaken the Guardian" (1986) - each featuring Norris' now-strained vocals in a performance which brought shame to the real John Arch's name and forced him to go into hiding, resurfacing later under the pseudonym "Ray Alder". This is where I think Shane gets confused which is perfectly understandable and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Desperate to salvage his good name and reputation, Arch (under the name Ray Alder) released his own albums under the "Fates Warning" banner. While the first "No Exit" was met with dubious stares due to the three piss-poor releases prior, it was a stepping stone towards reaffirming John Arch as a vocal powerhouse. The follow-up "Perfect Symmetry" (1989) was hailed as one of the greatest albums of all time by fans and critics alike. Realising he was going to struggle to bring Arch down through music Norris turned to other forms of defamation. Working closely with the infamous propaganda firm Greenpeace, Norris (still posing as Arch) produced a series of extremely offensive and politically-incorrect comics dubbed "Morning Glory". He then reverted to his true identity and left the real John Arch to deal with the backlash.

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Chuck Norris as "John Arch" in the "Morning Glory" series of comics produced by Greenpeace. Source: www.johnarch.com

As a side-note it should be mentioned that, by becoming Chuck Norris once again, there were now two Chuck Norris'. At that exact point in time their bodies collapsed into black holes, pulled themselves into each other and formed a singular mega-entity. This is how Chuck Norris acquired the super-human powers for which he is now most famous.

Determined to clear his name and settle things once and for all, Alder challenged Norris to a battle to the death in the Thunderdome - a prop from the set of another movie the real John Arch played the lead role in. Norris accepted but because his body was an amalgamation of entities from two different time lines he was unable to get any of his attacks to connect with Arch in the present, his punches instead causing catastrophes in different time lines including the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. The fight was settled when Norris agreed to stop trying to destroy John Arch's name if Arch agreed to hand over all rights to Spock's Beard, give up his singing career and refer any future acting roles to Norris, including the recently-announced series "Walker: Texas Ranger" in which Arch was to play a pilot selected to train at the air force's Top Gun academy.


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Promotional poster for the Thunderdome fight between John Arch and Chuck Norris. Source: Reuters.

These days John Arch has returned to cabinet making however still finds time to dabble in a musical career as the bassist for AC/DC where he performs alongside his long-time girlfriend Funshine Bear and renowned drum virtuoso AC/Shriffer.

Hopefully that clears everything up - for Shane as well.
 
I particularly like this quote:
"Chuck Norris was signed to play the role of himself as the arch villain in the movie when he broke both his legs as the result of a violent case of diarrhoea"
 
Don't listen to him. It only doesn't make sense to him because he goes on second hand rumours and gossip so it's hard for him to follow what actually happened. Allow me to put my Serious Hat™ on for a moment and explain...

[...]

Hopefully that clears everything up - for Shane as well.
:lol: You and your Serious Hat™ should really consider contributing to the Uncyclopedia. Your "truth" was so good I actually thought it might have come from there.

(Sorry, I'm not typically on this forum, but someone on the ProgPower forum posted a link to this thread and this was just too hilarious not to comment on.)