I need advice

[Danny rctv]

Okay I'm freaked out about this! Tonight my one roommate that's lived here with me for like 12 years sat me and this young friend of his he plays in a band with down to tell us about this.

He gave us each a sealed document we are only to open when he dies.That's how he put it,not in the event that "If" something were to happen but when he dies!

He went on to tell me the next month's rent will be covered from the info in the document.He also said he really doesn't have any family but there was info in there who to contact when he dies and what to do with all his personal belongings.

I'm wondering if he's planning on killing himself? I'm a man of my word so I'm not going to open that document unless he dies but what if there's some clue in there that says what he plans to do to himself??

On the other hand he is not the picture of health. He's the same age as me but he's morbidly obese (over 300 pounds),walks very slow with a limp,has a skin condition he takes a special medication for,and sleeps on the floor.He claims to have only one lung!

When he's home, he spends an awful lot of time in his room and there's been times where I feared I'd find him lying there dead some day. So if he were to just up and croak on us I wouldn't be surprised.

He's a strange character notorious for telling tall stories about himself so I've tended to take a lot of what he tells me with a grain of salt. Maybe that document is "just in case" something happens plus if I was to open it now and he found out, I'd be in a ton of trouble with him,he'd be furious!

So am I letting this go to my head? I hope I am. What would you do?

 

[HobbesDawg]

Wow man. That's a trip to lay on someone. I'd say honestly the only things I can think of are to confront him, or contact the county mental health you have reason to think he may harm himself.

 

[SoCalDamageInc]

In my opinion, you should contact your local health care authorities and ask them to evaluate him. That could very well be the decision that saves his life. I am no psychiatrist, but that shoulds like a loud cry for help to me. I had a really close friend who ended his life after a long bout with chronic illness and addiction. In retrospect, I could see many times when he was crying for help...

Good luck and best wishes to the both of you.

 

[Doodoobubbachuck]

In my opinion, you should contact your local health care authorities and ask them to evaluate him. That could very well be the decision that saves his life. I am no psychiatrist, but that shoulds like a loud cry for help to me. I had a really close friend who ended his life after a long bout with chronic illness and addiction. In retrospect, I could see many times when he was crying for help...

Good luck and best wishes to the both of you.

I agree here. He obviously trusts you as a friend and I would not recommend opening the envelope like you said. It definitely sounds like a major reach out for help. Man, that's some heavy stuff to lay on you. Please keep us posted.

You know, looking at this from the other side, if he is serious about this envelope containg info of what to do with what after he is gone, perhaps he should get a formal will done up then rather than some mysterious envelopes. BUT hopefully you can get him the help he needs so this does not have to come into play anytime soon. I send positive wishes to you guys.

 

[MiniMurray]

i've had roomates do weird stuff too - this one guy actually did end up cutting his wrists and then lying about how he did it later so the white coats wouldn't get him. we got all CSI and found the blood trails contrary to his story - weird. definately ask your friend if he needs someone to talk to - and there are alot of helpful numbers to call if you'd like some advice from a more informed person. the sealed letter is very puzzling - have someone else open it, read it and only tell you if it's bad news. that way you keep your word and won't be worried.

 

[NeonAngel]

Danny, this is a Cry for Help. He DOES need attention, but more than you can give. Please contact the local health care authorities. You don't need to open his envelope. That's a head game, either way. If he had legit concerns re: his possible death, he would have created a formal will and then told you about it.

 

[Timewarrior2001]

Theres a couple of ways to look at this.


1) its a cry for help, he has no intention of harming himself, but wants to know if he can trust those around him and wants to guage their reaction

2) He's totally lost it.

3) he's full of shit (sorry to be blunt but sometimes bluntness is for the better)

Now because we dont know this guy and havent met him or seen him its hard to make a judgement call. But my advice would be to give him a shout, ask him if theres anything he wants to share, ask about the envelope, tell him you have no intention of disregarding his wishes, but you also dont want to sit by and let a mate deal with this crap alone.



I know myself how detached you can feel, I've been there (currently going through my third phase after thinking i had beaten it twice already This time its more the anxiety though). I've self harmed, I've had very dark thoughts, I've done things to myself that should have killed me, but I'm still here, because I havent ever gone so far that I couldnt think of the pain I would cause my loved ones.
Reach out, if he doesnt want to know you tried, if he opens up, then you have to be ready. You need to formulate a plan on what you are going to do in a number of given situations.

 

[Danny rctv]

Okay Yesterday he was his happy go lucky self cracking jokes and went to band practice last night. Just now I saw him heading out to work,he was asking me about my work situation (I'm unemployed at the moment) anyways I told him I'm concerned about him giving me that document. He told me he's not doing well as he went out the door and I told him if he needs to talk I'm here.

So that freaked me out more confirming he's got plans to die pretty soon. I actually see a counselor my self so I'm going to ask him. I'm also going to contact Marlon's boss and that kid he jams with that has the other sealed envelope that we need to do something!

 

[spideyjg]

Is it possible his doctor gave him a terminal diagnosis? If so perhaps he is just getting his worldly affairs in order.

He should be up front if that is the case.

Jim

 

[HobbesDawg]

Okay Yesterday he was his happy go lucky self cracking jokes and went to band practice last night. Just now I saw him heading out to work,he was asking me about my work situation (I'm unemployed at the moment) anyways I told him I'm concerned about him giving me that document. He told me he's not doing well as he went out the door and I told him if he needs to talk I'm here.

So that freaked me out more confirming he's got plans to die pretty soon. I actually see a counselor my self so I'm going to ask him. I'm also going to contact Marlon's boss and that kid he jams with that has the other sealed envelope that we need to do something!

Here's the thing. Many people will actually be very happy and cheerful/etc when they have "decided" to do something, such as suicide. That's actually, alas, one of the primary signs that they might be close to doing the act. With the weight of depression, their troubles, and such lifted from their shoulders because they know shortly they will be free, they are happy for the last few days.

HOPEFULLY it's not that bad, but that is one thing I recall from my psych classes.

 

[NeonAngel]

H ave things improved with your friend, Danny?

 

[Danny rctv]

So far everything is normal. I even ran in to him and his band mate at a show Friday night and this morning he had a temper tantrum over one of our other roommates eating his food so I guess things are cool for now.

 

[SoCalDamageInc]

So far everything is normal. I even ran in to him and his band mate at a show Friday night and this morning he had a temper tantrum over one of our other roommates eating his food so I guess things are cool for now.

That is really good to hear Danny.

I hope everything works out for both him and you...