I'm the best person in the world by far. (np)

[Nico16]

Originally posted by Mattias of the Night
The only customer Studio Palmman has at the moment, and has ever had, but certainly WILL not ever have since a big rush of customers is expected to flood in any day now, is nunfucker. Which is me, myself, recording a shitty album. So if I legalize Studio Palmman, not even I would want to record in that wimpy studio?

You should think of the advantages you have, when it's legal: there will be a whole new group of clients, who would record in a legal version of Studio Palmman. Just think of, for example, Hammerfall!!

You see, not only am I VERY talented studio dude, I am also the town's greatest baby sitter. Fantastic, you say, that I can have two such diverse talents? Well yes! It is fantastic! I am the best person in the world, by far!

But you must watch out!! By the time it is born you won't be the bestest person in the universe anymore!! The news will spread within seconds around the globe, that a new totally abso-fucking-lut bestest person of the word is born!!! And everybody will bring presents and stuff...and there will be stars showing the way for travellers from Inflamistan and such. Seize the time you have left as the best person in the world by far - you have seven months left!!! Do it. Now. Don't hesistate. tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic.................................................................................................. ...can you hear it pass by?

Most people could only do one of this things, but I do both. Fredrik Nordström for example. What does that poser know about baby sitting? Nothing I tell you! So when that baby is screaming and won't shut the fuck up, you know where to take it.

Maybe after some time I'll have a new small giga-tallented studio engineer then - so this is a Good Thing (tm). :hotjump:

I can set my studio on auto pilot for a while and I'll concentrate on your child instead. I'll tuck it in in the bed of luuv. Paedophilia is very death metal.

I'm heavily involved in audiophilia - is that the same?

 

[Siren]

Originally posted by Sunjammer
Sure, if it includes being beaten to death with a metal bar...

 

[Mattias the Bitch Boy]

Hammerfall records legally? What a bunch of pussies! I suppose I could sell out and pretend to find it acceptable to be legal and moral and all that.

Really now, an annoying, screaming baby who can't even STAND UP (like I can!) and who needs a DIAPER (like I don't) is going to surpass my greatness? You're stupid.

You fuck sound? That's nasty shit.

 

[Nico16]

Originally posted by Mattias of the Night
Really now, an annoying, screaming baby who can't even STAND UP (like I can!) and who needs a DIAPER (like I don't) is going to surpass my greatness? You're stupid.

It won't take long until it mutates into a new, scarier and more powerful version of Fredrik Nordström - it's keyboard and organ playing skillz will even exceed those of the original Fredrik, and since all the bands out there want such a talented and charismatic studio-engineer to be a guest musician on their albums, there won't be any bands left that record in Std. Fredman, Berno, Slaughterhause, Palmman, Underground, Dug Out, Mega, Sunlight, etc. . And the best thing is ...at least 96% of the earnings will belong to me.

 

[ShadowLioness]

Why do I feel the need to hang myself when I read these threads...

No, Mattias, it isn't because I feel I have no reason to live because you are "best person in the world".

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by ShadowLioness
Why do I feel the need to hang myself when I read these threads...

welcome to therapy. i have to read them all and check for updates every four-five hours, go figure.

rahvin.

 

[ShadowLioness]

Originally posted by rahvin
welcome to therapy. i have to read them all and check for updates every four-five hours, go figure.

rahvin.

Thank you...now at least I have some company .

 

[Naku ist krig]

Mattias is koolest member of ultimatemetal.com
@MotN:
You rock my worlds!
Dude!

 

[U[Sic]M]

This time he has gone too far!!! This is nothing compared to what I have done! Sure, to mock and ridicule a whole community of american In Flames-fans, that´s one thing, but to resort to this horrid, horrid act is simply unforgivable! I almost dare not say it, but for your sake, though, I will: he, Mattias of the Night, unleashed the dreaded THREAD-BUMP!!! This is a new kind of menace we are dealing with here, which hits without warning, and with lethal force.

I realise that I am going against the will of rahvin, but I feel that I must speak up. Speak up, if not for me, then for all the thousands and millions of fans which regularly visit this board to read my brilliant posts!

I will now submit to you undeniable proof that Mattias in fact is NOT the best person by far, but a poser who might as well strut around to Britney Spears whilst reading the latest issue of "Feminine outfits for the Woman in You":

Evidence #1. Mattias owns several Metallica-records. This is directly in violation of being a superb person, and even more so in violation of being the best person. In support of this claim, I mark as exhibit A-C two promotion-posters of Metallica´s "Load" and "Reload" albums, and a collectors´ boxset containing the collected works of Metallica, post-"...and Justice for All". You might add to the protocol that on one of the posters there is a dedication reading "Yo, diz is Jaymzzz! I hope we get to danz all night long onze again, Mattias of the Night!".

Evidence #2. Mattias of the Night is NOT the best person by far. Well, no shit!

Evidence #3. I must warn sensitive readers to this final and most condemning piece of evidence: this account is of a rather strong nature. On the day - or night, PM anyway - of January the fifth, 12:08, Mattias of the Night did a deed most terrible. The THREAD-BUMP (horrifying just to read, isn´t it?), most commonly known as the "I am a total wanker"-action.

These are all totally valid arguments that Mattias is wrong in assuming his besthood. Needless to say, this is in favor of mighty individual U[Sic]M being utterly cool and best. Hah-hah!

 

[U[Sic]M]

Originally posted by rahvin
welcome to therapy. i have to read them all and check for updates every four-five hours, go figure.

rahvin.

Yo, man, this, if anything, sounds like you are ready to pass over the flame. Don´t worry, I´ll take good care of the board as your successor.

 

[Nico16]

U[Sic]M: Sorry, but I guess you'd suck as a moderator. You should rather be DT's new vocalist! Not that Mikael is bad, but anyway. Mikael could play guitar again, as on skydancer, so that they can have a crunchy rhytmn section with some nifty twin-guitar melodies over that!!!!1

 

[rahvin]

that's it, i give up: i was going to call it quits because i've been asked to be the new singer in dt, but you were getting way too close to the truth.

rahvin.

 

[rahvin]

@u[sic]m: no more threads about the same topic, thank you.

rahvin.

 

[U[Sic]M]

rahvin: AAAAAAH, you´re killing me here. Physically, mentally and literally KILLING me. I was taking a stand; much like William Wallace, a.k.a. Braveheart, did in that popular movie from yesteryears. Although, instead of thousands of screaming dirty englismen in steelwear, we have Mattias of the Night, and instead of an even dirtier scotsman, albeit nobler, we have U[Sic]M, a.k.a. me, rebelling against unjustice and maltreatment. You see now why I had to do it?

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by U[Sic]M
You see now why I had to do it?

nup, haven't the slightest.
but i own 2 original metallica records (master of puppets and load, of all things), so what do i know?

rahvin.

 

[U[Sic]M]

rahvin: Okay, since you are the moderator here, I will explain to you (had it been someone else that had asked, I would have mercilessly flamed the person for their insolence and disrespect). Mattias of the Night used the lowest form of trick to up the views-count for his thread (this is what he lives for, I know this), viz the THREAD-BUMP. This is unforgivable! Even more unforgivable than the dreaded THREAD-MERGING or the horrific IRRELEVANT THREAD-CREATION.

Well, the reason I did it - that is, warn all the people of this new terror, thus ensuring my place in the internet hall of fame - is because he must be punished for this...severely. What if I was to employ such tactics to revive my old threads? Well, of course, everyone would be eternally grateful to once again have the opportunity to read my illuminating and radiant posts, but that doesn´t mean I would do it. That´s because I have integrity and due to my highly evolved sense for originality and innovation I would not relive old threads merely to raise the views-count of my threads.

 

[rahvin]

@u[sic]m: your theory is so unbelieveably convoluted and utterly pointless that i now have no doubt whatsoever mattias of the night is guilty of the alleged crime.
this, however, does not change a thing about the fact that his qualities are only - if ever - to be discussed here. and please note i use the term "discuss" loosely, in its meaning closest to "annoy everybody while talking all over each other".

rahvin.

 

[U[Sic]M]

Originally posted by rahvin
this, however, does not change a thing about the fact that his qualities are only - if ever - to be discussed here. and please note i use the term "discuss" loosely, in its meaning closest to "annoy everybody while talking all over each other".

Yeah. I, on the other hand, always discuss with the utmost sharpness of reasoning, never do I lower my standards to something that would equal poopy-talk, and I certainly never annoy people.

My qualities, then? Surely, people cannot be forced to praise my above-human attributes on this sub-par thread.

 

[DisTortorous]

hmmm thread bump...Cheap move.
How do you do it again?
The best person in the world revives his long lost thread by thread bumping and falsely conveying that a vast number of people have viewed his immoral and utterly incompetent load of bullshit? Then I must be the bestest person in the world to the tenth power! Hell yeah!

 

[ShadowLioness]

@U{Sic}M: The way that you go on about all of your "superb" qualities is frighteningly reminiscent of Mattias of the Night...this back and forth banter just amazes me.