Jim phones his office in the morning and says to his boss,'boss I'm not coming in today I'm sick',his boss says,'exactly how sick are you?,jim replies'well I'm in bed with my sister.
joke of the day
- Thread starter mrthrax
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If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family!
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
dutchy
Member
johnnieCzech
Your favourite Czech
A couple is fucking. Then a girl says: "Hey brother, you do it better than our father does." He responds: "Our mother told me so, too."
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
Little Johnny runs into the bathroom just as his mother is stepping out of the shower and curiously points to her triangle of hair and asks: "Mommy what's that?" somewhat flustered she quickly replies: "Well dear that is my sponge." Content with her answer off he goes...Later he runs into the living room and asks "Mommy may I play with your sponge?" again his mother is flustered and quickly states "Why, no you may not, I lost it." O.K. this pacifies him and back out to play Later Johnny races into the kitchen yelling "Mommy I found the sponge, I found the sponge." Confused the mother asks "You did and where did you find it?" Johnny proudly stated "The maid is got it and she is washing Daddy's face with it."
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?" The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a few puffs.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. The Crocodile looks up and says, "Hey!" The Monkey looks down and says...
"Fuuuuuuuuck, dude... how much water did you drink?!
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. The Crocodile looks up and says, "Hey!" The Monkey looks down and says...
"Fuuuuuuuuck, dude... how much water did you drink?!
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
johnnieCzech
Your favourite Czech
:Smokin:
DarbysDad
Timmy! Timmy!!! Timmy!!!
A peice of string walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartander says "sorry we don't serve strings "
The peice of strings walks outside, ties himself in a knott and walks back inside and straight up to the bar. Again the bartender says "sorry I've already told you we don't serve strings in here " the peice of string looks at him quizically, and the bartender says "well you are a piece of string aren't you ? "
To which the string replies..........wait for it........ "I'm a fraid knott "now give me my beer "!
The bartander says "sorry we don't serve strings "
The peice of strings walks outside, ties himself in a knott and walks back inside and straight up to the bar. Again the bartender says "sorry I've already told you we don't serve strings in here " the peice of string looks at him quizically, and the bartender says "well you are a piece of string aren't you ? "
To which the string replies..........wait for it........ "I'm a fraid knott "now give me my beer "!
What sound does a train full of Lesbians make as it drives along the track ?
Lickity Clit Lickity Clit Lickity Clit
Lickity Clit Lickity Clit Lickity Clit
3 prostitutes are living together,a mother a daughter and a grandmother.one night the daughter comes home looking very down,'how did u do tonight dear?asks the mother.'not to good'replied the daughter,'i only got 20 bucks for a blowjob,'wow'says the mother'in my day we were glad to get 5 bucks for a blowjob!'
'good god' says the grandmother'in my day we were glad just to get something warm in our stomchs!
'good god' says the grandmother'in my day we were glad just to get something warm in our stomchs!
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