joke of the day

[mrthrax]

a guy working at a morgue sees notices this beautiful looking girl and goes up to his boss"isnt it so sad that she's dead,so sweet and innocent,i wonder how she died,his boss replied"she's got a prawn in her cunt"the guy replies confused"what do u mean"sometime later he goes back to his boss and says" she hasnt got a prawn in her cunt"his boss replies"it tasted like prawn"

 

[augdawg2]

Nice!


Ha ha,

Sincerely,

AugDawg

 

[Anthrax_Mosher]

A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder, turns around, and is face to face with a big black bear. "You've got two choices" says the bear. "I maul you, or we have sex". The guys decides to have it with the bear. A week later, the man returns and shoots the big black bear. Just then, he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10 foot grizzly standind over him. "Admit it", says the bear. "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

 

[I Don't Die]

hahahahah Both are awesome


The bear one did it for me :hotjump: :hotjump:

 

[Skorned1]

 

[UNCLE-BOOG]

An old geezer in the old folk's home took a fancy to an old lady who is also staying at the home. One day he gets up enough courage to tell her he wants to make love to her. She agrees and suggests that when everyone else is gone for a day trip, they will stay behind and get to it.

He goes to her room on the day and asks her how she likes it. She says, "I used to like it when a man went down on me." He says he would love to and goes for it. After about 30 seconds he comes back up and says, "I'm sorry. I afraid I just can't go on. It smells rotten down there."

She says, "It must be my arthritis." He looks at her and says, "Surely you can't get arthritis down there. And even if you could, it wouldn't cause that horrible smell." She says, "No, my arthritis is in my shoulder and I can't wipe my ass."

 

[johnnieCzech]

A guy eats pussy. Suddenly, his glasses drop off his face and fall into the pussy. The man has no choice but sink into the pussy and search for his glasses. He´s there but can´t find anything. Then he meets two guys and says he searches for his glasses. "Forget it dude," says one of them. "We´ve been here for 20 years looking for a caterpillar."

 

[timmyc]

How I've missed your jokes of the day!!!!

 

[VikingDog]

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
There's nothing wrong with the light bulb, in fact it's improving everyday. Any reports of the lightbulb not lighting up is nothing but propaganda conjured up by the left-winged liberal media. Why do you hate freedom?

 

[Arg_Hamster]

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
There's nothing wrong with the light bulb, in fact it's improving everyday. Any reports of the lightbulb not lighting up is nothing but propaganda conjured up by the left-winged liberal media. Why do you hate freedom?

Lol! Good one.

 

[mrthrax]

what do u call the bit of skin around a pussy?





a woman.

 

[freakbrother6969]

A woman is in hospital. She's comatose for months. One day a nurse washes her vagina. The woman opens her eyes and smiles for a second. The nurse calls the doctor and tells him what happened. The doctor phones the womans husband.
The husband rushes to the hospital. The doctor says:"Go to your wife and have oral sex with her. We're sure, she will wake up!"
The husband goes to her room. After some minutes the docor enters the room.
He sees the husband kneeling over her face saying:
"Shit, I think she's choked!"

 

[Arg_Hamster]

Maybe I´ve told you this before?

What´s better than roses on the piano?
Tulips on the organ.

 

[johnnieCzech]

Three guys agree to have sex with a girl, but just one at a time. So, the first one goes to the bathroom, and suddenly there is a LOUD scream. The first guy returns and the two ask him what was the scream. "You know, my dick so big, she just had to scream," he replies. Then the second one goes. The scream is even LOUDER. When he returns, he says "you know, my dick is even bigger, and I did it into her ass so..." the last but not least, the third guy goes. The scream is the LOUDEST. He returns from the bathroom and says "you know, my dick is so small. So I broke her arm instead."

 

[Bass Fellow]

Johnnie B. Goode LOL

 

[Dragons_Kin]

This ones old but I still think it's funny.
What does toilet paper and the starship Enterprise have in common?


They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

 

[DarbysDad]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60… perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and mutters, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man scowls at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"No, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

 

[mrthrax]

what do prawns and blondes have in common?





they are both pink inside and have shit for brains.