Joke of the Day

[.Carnage]

What do you think is the funniest joke and should deserve the JOKE OF THE DAY title!?

 

[-Gavin-]

What's the most ironic song on Christopher Reeves' Mp3 Player?


Led Zep - Stairway to Heaven

 

[-Gavin-]

What does Jill Dando's killer and a Jehovas Witness have in common?



Both stand on your doorstep and do your head in!

 

[Sinister Mephisto]

What's the most ironic song on Christopher Reeves' Mp3 Player?


Led Zep - Stairway to Heaven

Awesome.

 

[-Gavin-]

What's Princess Diana's favourite Ice Cream?



Carte Dor

 

[-Gavin-]

Who was the most Insensitive man in NY on Sept 11th?



The hotdog vendor who yelled "WHO ORDERED THE JUMBO?"

 

[-Gavin-]

What's the most commonly used detergent in Indonesia?




Surf!

 

[Wings of a dream]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

 

[-Gavin-]

What is the difference between hitler and paulra radcliff?




At least hitler tried to finish a race!

 

[-Gavin-]

What is the difference between Smarties and Londoners?






Smarties don't melt in the tube!

 

[-Gavin-]

What was the coldest place in the UK this july?




London, -37

 

[-Gavin-]

HEar about the new Ale house they opened in iraq?



The Bigley's head!

 

[-Gavin-]

Are You Dead Yet?

 

[-Gavin-]

Santa bypassed indonesia this year....





he did give them a cheery wave though!

 

[-Gavin-]

Did you hear Ellen Macarthur wasn't really the first person to sail solo round the world?




She was beaten by a Sri Lankan in a Deck Chair!

 

[-Gavin-]

Priest and a Rabbi are standing on a street corner...
A little boy walks out...
Priest turns to Rabbi: "Hey, wanna fuck him?"
Rabbi looks confused and replies: "Outta what?"

 

[-Gavin-]

Englishman goes to a scotsman...

"take away your beautiful scenery, Mountains, lochs and forests... whaddya have?"


"....England"

 

[-Gavin-]

This is Turbo's but BRILLIANT.


After the Earthquake in Pakistan, Rescue workers found 48, 000 bodies. They called off their search in the area and moved onto the second house.

 

[-Gavin-]

Did you hear MCdonald's new service that was beta-tested in NEw York...


The FLy-Thru

 

[-Gavin-]

Did you hear, the night of her death, princess diana was on the radio...




....And the windscreen.