Joke of the Day
- Thread starter .Carnage
- Start date
Turbo
Natursekt Black Metal
Oh I have a United Kingdom joke...
Police today admitted george best was not buried in Belfast and in retrospect the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hampstead on Sunday was a mistake.
Police today admitted george best was not buried in Belfast and in retrospect the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hampstead on Sunday was a mistake.
-Gavin-
Gavornator
Jani Laiho
Member
- Aug 25, 2004
- 312
- 0
- 16
a mother is laying in bed after giving birth....the doctor comes in with her new baby and drops it on the floor....picks it up, slams it against the wall....picks it up once more and throws it out of the window....the lady screams, "oh my god, you killed my baby!". and the doctor just says..."no its okay...it was already dead"
Sinister Mephisto
1337
- Sep 20, 2005
- 2,900
- 1
- 38
-Gavin-
Gavornator
Mother is in hospital and the doctor comes through and says..
"i have some bad news and some good news..."
"åmg, okay...bad news"
"Your baby is ginger!"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!! WHat's the good news?"
"It was a stillborn."
"i have some bad news and some good news..."
"åmg, okay...bad news"
"Your baby is ginger!"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!! WHat's the good news?"
"It was a stillborn."
Deadnight Warrior87
The Tempest
-Gavin-
Gavornator
Valerie
¯\(ã)/¯
- Aug 29, 2005
- 6,765
- 4
- 38
What's black and blue and doesn't like to have sex?
The girl in the back of my car.
What's the difference between a Cadilac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadilac in my garage
What's worse than 10 dead babies in a barrel?
One dead baby in 10 barrels
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
What do you call a baby on a skewer?
A Kebabie.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
Gavin
The girl in the back of my car.
What's the difference between a Cadilac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadilac in my garage
What's worse than 10 dead babies in a barrel?
One dead baby in 10 barrels
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
What do you call a baby on a skewer?
A Kebabie.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
Gavin
Valerie
¯\(ã)/¯
- Aug 29, 2005
- 6,765
- 4
- 38
1. Children of Bodom are the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
2. You share your birthday with Children of Bodom!
3. Olive oil was used for washing Children of Bodom in the ancient Mediterranean world.
4. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than Children of Bodom.
5. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Children of Bodom!
6. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Children of Bodom every year.
7. Children of Bodom are the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary.
8. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Children of Bodom is two minutes.
9. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Children of Bodom.
10. The deepest part of Children of Bodom is over 35,000 feet deep!
2. You share your birthday with Children of Bodom!
3. Olive oil was used for washing Children of Bodom in the ancient Mediterranean world.
4. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than Children of Bodom.
5. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Children of Bodom!
6. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Children of Bodom every year.
7. Children of Bodom are the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary.
8. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Children of Bodom is two minutes.
9. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Children of Bodom.
10. The deepest part of Children of Bodom is over 35,000 feet deep!
Deadnight Warrior87
The Tempest
Silver Incubus
Dead Hands Justin
Silver Incubus
Dead Hands Justin
Q: What is a Mexican?
A: Proof that the Indians did fuck the buffalo.
Q: Why don't blacks and Mexicans breed?
A: They're afraid the kids will be too lazy to steal.
Q: what do u call a black women that has had 10 abortions
A: a crime fighter
Q: What's the first thing a women released from the Battered Women's Shelter should do?
A: The dishes if she's smart.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
Q: What do you call all the useless skin around the vagina?
A: The woman.
(this one's outdated, but still good)
Q: Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana from the clutches of death?
A: Because he's in a wheelchair.
A: Proof that the Indians did fuck the buffalo.
Q: Why don't blacks and Mexicans breed?
A: They're afraid the kids will be too lazy to steal.
Q: what do u call a black women that has had 10 abortions
A: a crime fighter
Q: What's the first thing a women released from the Battered Women's Shelter should do?
A: The dishes if she's smart.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
Q: What do you call all the useless skin around the vagina?
A: The woman.
(this one's outdated, but still good)
Q: Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana from the clutches of death?
A: Because he's in a wheelchair.
a woman goes to hospital coz the battery of her vibrator got empty during masturbating and she cant get it out anymore.
after the operation, the doctor comes to her...
"i have 2 messages for ya, a bad and a good one.. first the bad one, we weren't able to get the vibrator out of ya pussy"
"and the good one?"
"we changed the 2 batteries"
^-^
after the operation, the doctor comes to her...
"i have 2 messages for ya, a bad and a good one.. first the bad one, we weren't able to get the vibrator out of ya pussy"
"and the good one?"
"we changed the 2 batteries"
^-^
Turbo
Natursekt Black Metal
hatecrewchick
Butcher of Bagdad
All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Children of Bodom!
gay and lying...
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