My turn:
Dat took me five minoutez to figur zat oot. De Zrussan accont iz ver-ay ver-ay awesome. I hope I dedont hav a Deutsch accont. I suck ver-ay baad at dis so I muzt grab dee gun and shoot myself in de ballz because I am Amerycaan and suck at speaking de Mutterlandz accont. Where de hell iz de smiley iconz? Dis fookin ding is stoopid. Now time to do de yooper (Upper Peninsula of Michigan) accont:
Say ya too da yoo pee ay!?