Let's talk wrasslin'

[DE4life]

Thanks man, I appreciate that. I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I think it's something only a pet owner who really develops a bond with their animal or animals can really understand. It's totally different to human relationships as the animal never judges you, never has ulterior motives and is never anything other than what they are. It's an incredibly pure connection that you just don't get with another human. You develop a routine with that animal and, if you're lucky, it's something that enriches your life and brings light into even the darkest days. Even when I was feeling really ill, angry or upset, just seeing Tia would be enough to lift my spirits and keep me going. She didn't have to do anything other than be herself. Losing that is hard to accept, and having that connection severed is emotionally devastating. I can tell from the way you wrote about your dog that you'll understand exactly what I mean.

The hardest part with losing Tia was that it was really unexpected. She was 11, so whilst she wasn't young, as a miniature poodle she wasn't old for her breed either. She hadn't shown any signs of problems, she seemed fine. Then she had a few days where her stomach wasn't right, so I took her to the vet and she had lost a fairly significant amount of weight from the summer (difficult to tell with her coat, unfortunately). Blood tests showed that she had chronic kidney disease, but we were told it could be managed and she could still live for some time. We got renal food for her and everything else necessary.

I then headed to Finland for a 3 week trip to see my significant other (I shared Tia with my parents, so there was no change for her other than me not being there), but five days in I got a message from my family saying that her new blood tests weren't good and she may only have days left if her condition didn't improve. She'd gone downhill very fast, and had stopped eating or drinking, which is obviously a bad sign. She was having to be syringe fed and was being given water that way too. I booked an early flight home, got back 9pm on the Sunday, having only arrived in Finland at 10pm on the previous Monday. She was family to me, though, and I had to be there with her. She came to the door to greet me, wagging her tail, but I could see how frail and weak she'd become. It was a shock, as when I left she hadn't been anything close to that bad. A few hours later she passed away. She'd literally gone to the vet twice the day before and they hadn't indicated she would imminently die, and despite her issues they didn't even recommend euthanasia at that point. She'd been fairly bright on those visits, but by that Sunday night she started spiralling hard and she pretty much died in my arms. The whole situation was just like a prolonged nightmare, and one that I feel like I'm waking up to again and again every day. I know that by the time I was holding her she was already gone, she'd stopped responding to her name or any stimulus around her at least 20 minutes before the end came, but it's something that will never leave me.

Well, anyway, life is this way and this is part of the contract we sign up for when getting a pet. Chances are you will almost certainly outlive them, regardless of when they pass. Ironically the more you love them, the worse it is when they go. It seems cruel and unfair in a lot of ways, but I've been through this before and I know in time the pain dulls and you just keep going. The first few weeks and months are just the worst, though, especially when it comes out of nowhere like this. Four weeks ago I was taking her out for walks like nothing was wrong, and now she's gone forever. As you said, it really, really sucks.

But yeah, it hurts and it'll hurt for a while to come. My condolences right back at you, it is indeed a rough thing to ensure. Not much you can do other than remember the good times and be grateful for the time you had with them.

 

[The Grayfox]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean by the emotional connection. I've known people who like animals and they have pets but that's really all there is to that relationship. Every animal I've ever had is a part of my family and they are treated as such. When I was a teenager, my family and I went to New York to visit my stepdad's family. It was upstate New York which has plenty of rural areas, one of which we were headed to. Not much about that trip is memorable but one of the things I do remember is pulling up to this house and seeing this dog on a very short leash tied to a tree stump in direct sunlight. It was my stepdad's son's house. I asked him about the dog and he said "that dog is chained to that stump every day of the year unless my stepfather takes him hunting." I just remember being like "well what the fuck?" Coming from a home where animals are treated like family, that just didn't compute. I don't understand why you would have a pet and then do that shit.

One unfortunate thing I've noticed with vets over the years is that sometimes they seem to be guessing. Part of me understands that it's hard to be conclusive. The other part holds this resentment like "wait a minute, you told me..." I think for me, I wanted the vet to tell us it was time to consider euthanasia but she never did. She said it was entirely up to us, which is a terrible decision to have to make. You second guess it, wondering if its too early. The entire process is fucked really. In the end, I'm sure we made the right decision but in that moment, nothing feels like the right decision. I'll tell you, I don't know if I can do it again. I know the good outweighs the bad, and maybe it's because it's still too fresh, but I can't even imagine having another dog right now.

Your situation sounds pretty brutal to be honest. I was in a more controlled environment and had vet techs explaining everything that was happening in detail, letting me know how long it was going to take and all that stuff. It sucks any way you look at it, but coming home from a trip and then immediately dealing with something that heavy is quite unfortunate. I hope things start looking up soon, man.