Lulu Reviews

[DuchessOfDork]

So Lulu is out today (Lou Reed/Metallica), and I think that the people reviewing their album are in a strange competition to see who can trash it the most creatively. Some of these reviews are downright side-splitting. Here's the ones I've seen so far:

Sound Spike
"That the ill-thought collaboration -- bloated to double-album length at a torturous 87 minutes, which almost feels like taunting -- should never have been made is a given, considering that no single track on the album merits even a full listen, let alone a full repeat spin."

Washington Post
"It’s already been called the worst album of all time, this unholy union of Lou Reed and Metallica, the multi-headed hydra of unpleasantness known colloquially, though not fondly, as Loutallica."

Chicago Tribune
" Then the music dissolves into more than 11 minutes of brain-numbing drone, snuffing out whatever remaining hope of redemption this album might have had. Given their history, that might be the point."

 

[AngraRULES]

The album should have been called DooDoo.

 

[Harvester]

USA Today:

And the winner in the category of All-Time Disappointing Collaboration Between Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductees: this tedious, tuneless turkey - by a mile - over Ebony and Ivory (sorry, too much melody) and Bowie/Jagger's Dancing in the Street (sorry, done for charity). Kids, next time your rock heroes tell you they're working on a set of very long songs inspired by a century-old German expressionist playwright, petition their record company for an intervention. - Jerry Shriver

 

[AngraRULES]

Sputnik:

"The biggest question Lulu asks of us is this: during the writing, rehearsal, recording and production of the LP, was there a point where any of those involved thought that what they were creating was not 100% acceptable? When Reed presented Metallica with lyric sheets replete with lines about gobbling down on “coloured man’s dicks” and “I’m a woman who likes men” did nobody think to say “Hey, Lou…cut it out.” "

"Was there an alternative, a better to way to do this? Yes, there was."

Blabbermouth:

"As we said at the beginning, this might have sounded good on paper. But someone should have crumpled up that paper and thrown it away."

 

[DuchessOfDork]

I think listening to old man Reed say "I'm a woman who likes men" was the highlight of my day.

 

[AngraRULES]

I think listening to old man Reed say "I'm a woman who likes men" was the highlight of my day.

Sorry. "Listening to this album" and "highlight of my day" should never be put in the same sentence... But yeah, that was a pretty funny line...

 

[DuchessOfDork]

Sorry. "Listening to this album" and "highlight of my day" should never be put in the same sentence... But yeah, that was a pretty funny line...

Come on! You don't think "I am the table!" will be a hit ring tone?

 

[AeonicSlumber]

 

[soldiers.of.filth]

Montreal Gazette:

After a dozen listens, Lulu still makes as much sense as icing a cake with mayonnaise. But it's unforgettable, which is more than you can say about Mistrial or ReLoad, and there isn't a dull moment in listening to Reed and Metallica trying to plow each other down. So, yeah: instant classic. 5/5

Wonder how much Lars paid them?

 

[Harvester]

Chuck Klosterman: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7146312/lou-reed-metallica-album

 

[DuchessOfDork]

Montreal Gazette:[/IMG]

If we still lived in the radio prison of 1992, do you think Metallica would purposefully release an album that no one wants? No way.

Truth, right there.

 

[PureXul]

This. Honestly, I'm waiting for them to admit this is one big joke. I'm halfway through track 7 and I don't even know why I'm still listening. There's nothing musically redeeming here.

 

[kingdomgone86]

If anyone else reads Teufels Tomb...he did a pretty awesome review.

http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/lou-reed-metallica-lulu/

 

[DuchessOfDork]

I can’t be bothered to read any of your all caps keyboard fat finger mashing about how I’m a moron for not going to bed wearing Kirk Hammett pajamas, resting my head on a Cliff Burton pillow, turning off my Lars Ulrich nightlight and kissing my stuffed James Hetfield doll before falling asleep.

OMG.. brilliant.

 

[Cheiron]

It's brilliant, because its pissed so many people off.

When was the last time that music so wonderfully did that?

 

[nomisofsiman]

Sputnik:

"The biggest question Lulu asks of us is this: during the writing, rehearsal, recording and production of the LP, was there a point where any of those involved thought that what they were creating was not 100% acceptable? When Reed presented Metallica with lyric sheets replete with lines about gobbling down on “coloured man’s dicks” and “I’m a woman who likes men” did nobody think to say “Hey, Lou…cut it out.” "

"Was there an alternative, a better to way to do this? Yes, there was."

Blabbermouth:

"As we said at the beginning, this might have sounded good on paper. But someone should have crumpled up that paper and thrown it away."

Exactly what I've been asking all along. How the hell did it get this far?

 

[nomisofsiman]

And this goes to show just how out of touch Rolling Stone is...http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/lulu-20111101

 

[Formerly known as Chris F5]

I think I would rather listen to a re recording of Pink Floyd' Dark Side of the Moon with
John Artch screeching over the entire thing than this unholy mess

 

[drmetal8]

And this goes to show just how out of touch Rolling Stone is...http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/lulu-20111101

Damn, you beat me to it! Yes, Rolling Stone proves again how clueless they are. How anyone can refer to Metallica as "prog-metal maximists at heart" is beyond my understanding of music.

Metallica once again is left in the dust by their peers. Pick up the new Megadeth instead, it kicks ass!

 

[AeonicSlumber]

The thing that makes me laugh the most about this whole thing is how people are declaring this as Metallica's rock bottom, completely ignoring the collab they did with Ja Rule which, as bad as Lulu is, is a million billion times worse.