Lulu Reviews

[PureXul]

people are declaring this as Metallica's rock bottom, completely ignoring the collab they did with Ja Rule

I don't think it will be safe to pick their rock bottom moment until not only have they called it a career, but Lars and possibly James have passed away. Considering they not only recorded this album, but seem to be proud of it, I have no doubt that their deep self-delusion could allow them to commit musical atrocities on a far grander scale than this.

Seriously, just wait until they think it's a good idea to "re-interpret" Master of Puppets for a new generation...

 

[Met-Al]

I think it's safe to say that nobody expected this album to be very good. In fact, I think most people were just looking forward to the comedy show. I lasted a minute and a half before I figured I had the gist of it. I don't think you could pay me to listen to the remaining 85 minutes or so. Klosterman's review hit the nail right on the head. If this doesn't completely alienate Metallica from their fans, I don't know what will.


Stay metal. Never rust.
Albert

 

[Harvester]

It's brilliant, because its pissed so many people off.

From Klosterman's review:

The reason Lulu is so terrible is because the people making this music clearly don't care if anyone else enjoys it. Now, here again — if viewed in a vacuum — that sentiment is admirable and important. But we don't live in a vacuum. We live on Earth. And that means we have to accept the real-life consequences of a culture in which recorded music no longer has monetary value, and one of those consequences is Lulu.

 

[Stingray11214]

And this goes to show just how out of touch Rolling Stone is...http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/lulu-20111101

Rolling Stone "owns" the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. No way are they going to trash two of their inductees. And, BTW, Metallica has not had a decent effort since S&M. What made you think that this pile of squirrel shit was going to be any better?

 

[drmetal8]

If anyone else reads Teufels Tomb...he did a pretty awesome review.

http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/lou-reed-metallica-lulu/

This is possibly the best review I have ever read. I was crying by the end of it. Hilarious.

 

[King Lek]

Klosterman's review was absolutely brilliant.

 

[Regor]

This. Honestly, I'm waiting for them to admit this is one big joke. I'm halfway through track 7 and I don't even know why I'm still listening. There's nothing musically redeeming here.

Please tell me you illegally downloaded it, and didn't pay for it, let alone buy the CD

 

[DuchessOfDork]

Please tell me you illegally downloaded it, and didn't pay for it, let alone buy the CD

They had it up for free, last I checked. The whole album. Is it still up??

 

[PureXul]

Please tell me you illegally downloaded it, and didn't pay for it, let alone buy the CD

http://www.loureedmetallica.com/listen-to-lulu.php

I can't wait to see how this turd sells...sadly, I'm sure it will chart reasonably well, but I'm also curious to see how second week sales are once everyone realizes it's pure, unadulterated shit.

 

[AngraRULES]

You guys know those Stride gum commercials, where they find the people who's still chewing on the first piece of gum and beat them up so that the gum is spit?

There should be a group of people enforcing that onto Lulu purchasers.

 

[Stingray11214]

You guys actually listened to this shit? I could not get past the first two minutes of "Brandenburg Gate". Seriously, if this shit goes Gold, then Van Canto is PPUSA Headline material.

 

[PureXul]

Seriously, if this shit goes Gold, then Van Canto is PPUSA Headline material.

 

[nomisofsiman]

Rolling Stone "owns" the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. No way are they going to trash two of their inductees. And, BTW, Metallica has not had a decent effort since S&M. What made you think that this pile of squirrel shit was going to be any better?

Where did I say I thought it was going to be good? No, I never thought that. I knew from the get-go that this was going to be a pile of shit. What I really dont' get though is that while some don't like Death Magnetic at least it was going back to their roots more. Some people actually got more interested in them again due to that album, but then they do this and completely alienate their fans again? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

[nomisofsiman]

This is possibly the best review I have ever read. I was crying by the end of it. Hilarious.

Fuck, I was crying halfway through it. When he was dissecting those lyrics I could not stop laughing.

 

[Stingray11214]

Where did I say I thought it was going to be good? No, I never thought that. I knew from the get-go that this was going to be a pile of shit. What I really dont' get though is that while some don't like Death Magnetic at least it was going back to their roots more. Some people actually got more interested in them again due to that album, but then they do this and completely alienate their fans again? Doesn't make sense to me.

You mentioned that Rolling Stone was out of touch. I agreed with the caveat that they were not going to trash two inductees in a Hall of Shame that they control. As for Death Magnetic: Yeah, it was interesting, but it sounded lazy to me. And, Metallica think they are big stars that they can advertise a concert and sell the place out anytime they want. So, why should they bust their asses to make a decent record, when they can grab some easy money instead?

 

[Stingray11214]

This is possibly the best review I have ever read. I was crying by the end of it. Hilarious.

This review was so hilarious that my oatmeal ended up all over my desk!

 

[DuchessOfDork]

Metallica think they are big stars that they can advertise a concert and sell the place out anytime they want. So, why should they bust their asses to make a decent record, when they can grab some easy money instead?

That's exactly why I hate Metallica. They rely on the fact that they did some stuff in the 80's that was groundbreaking, and now they have enough fame and money that they can do anything they like with few consequences.

All that being said, I'm pretty much just bitter that no matter how many ridiculous things they do, they will always have oodles of money.

 

[PureXul]

That's exactly why I hate Metallica. They rely on the fact that they did some stuff in the 80's that was groundbreaking, and now they have enough fame and money that they can do anything they like with few consequences.

You hate them because they do what they want?

No artist is beholden to their fans, just as no fans are beholden to the artists they enjoy. Sure, it's great that some bands are going to deliver a consistent product without any deviation - Manowar, Immolation, Nile, and Amon Amarth immediately spring to mind - but faulting Metallica for doing what they want puts them in a no-win situation. They would get immense amounts of shit if they played it safe and just put out the black album over and over again, and they take shit for doing whatever they want.

I think most of what they've put out for the past 20 years is worthless and I have plenty of reasons to dislike them, but forging their own path is very definitely not one of those reasons. If anything, I respect - in a very bizarre way - their decision to pursue their own direction. It would be nice if their chosen direction wasn't an audio atrocity, but at least they're not playing it safe.

 

[DuchessOfDork]

You hate them because they do what they want?

When what they want is a big pile of crap? Yes. Only because, like I said, I'm bitter. If I had the kind of money they had, I wouldn't waste it on garbage, and I don't know if they're really dumb or just really deluded, but Lulu is garbage.

But again, don't take my words to heart. I'm just bitter and poor.

 

[AngraRULES]

So, you're bitter because other people make more money than you by offering a product that you think it's not worth it?

Is that it?