MASTERED BY MUPPETS (death magnetic)

[dan weapon]

I'm actually really enjoying a bunch of the tracks on Death Magnetic, but for comedy's sake I re-wrote 'puppets' so that it applies to it's production...

A couple of lines here and there could be a bit better, so feel free to make suggestions:



MASTERED BY MUPPETS

End of session day, Rubin works away:
I'm your source of song-destruction
Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer
Leaving spikes on my instruction
Trust me you will see
Volume’s all you need
Dedicated to
How I'll limit you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin’s my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Need to mix this way, never you dismay
”Loud” makes death magnetic clearer
Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3
Squash your tracks til it’s severe
Gate and you will see
More and more dB
Dedicated to
How I’m killing you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin’s my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard
Bastard

Master, Master, where's the version I've been after?
Bearded, Bastard, you promised only lies
Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?
Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs
Spike to me!

Lars ain’t worth all that – “natural” kick and hats
Kirk adds wah without a reason
Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days
Rob, your shirt is out of season…
I’ll record til 5 (then)
I will help you buy
Sandals that suit you
Now you look cool too


[The last few lines only work if you've seen the picture of James and Rob shopping with the Armani bag]

 

[Machinated]

Dan, that is pure class. This cover needs to be recorded.

 

[Kazrog]

Genius.

 

[Pot]

Dan, that is pure class. This cover needs to be recorded.

+1

 

[Petrocker]

Awsome Dan!
I'm willingly assist in doing a cover.

 

[Chryst Krispies]

I haven't smiled that big in a long while. RITUAL WAVES L3 FTW.

 

[FIXXXER]

dude you rule!!
HAHAHA!!!

 

[James Murphy]

only problem is, it was mixed by Greg Fidelman, not Rubin...

Ted Jensen was the mastering engineer, but he's already made a public statement that the mix was slammed and limited to hell before he got it... i think Ted likely did make it sound better than it did when it came in his room, but there's only so much you can do when a program is already smashed to hell and back.

the producer, rubin, works with the band on songs and arrangements and performance, and guides the recording engineer on tones and what have you... when the producer is, as rubin is, a producer only, and not a "wearer of all hats".

good job on the lyrics all the same.

here's an online petition targeted at Metallica's management company, Q Prime, aimed toward forcing a remix/remaster.

 

[dan weapon]

only problem is, it was mixed by Greg Fidelman, not Rubin...

Ted Jensen was the mastering engineer, but he's already made a public statement that the mix was slammed and limited to hell before he got it... i think Ted likely did make it sound better than it did when it came in his room, but there's only so much you can do when a program is already smashed to hell and back.

the producer, rubin, works with the band on songs and arrangements and performance, and guides the recording engineer on tones and what have you... when the producer is, as rubin is, a producer only, and not a "wearer of all hats".

good job on the lyrics all the same.

Yeah man, I totally understand that Rubin's job was that of a producer rather than engineer/mixer, and that his role was to wander in every now and again and give his opinion on songs/arrangements etc, rather than to push the faders up and down or muck about with compression ratios.
I was just trying to conjur up the image of Rubin and one of his minions sneaking in to the studio once everyone else had left, in order to limit the shit out of it. It was my attempt at satire rather than an accurate portrayal of how I thought the album was recorded.
Also Rubin is a much better known and easy-to-visualise entity, as well as having a much more workable name compared with Greg Fidelman

 

["Evil" Aidy]

Love it dude!

It's right up there with Wierd Al kinda stuff!

 

[Meisterjäger]

That is simply awesome, and needs to be recorded.

"Lars ain’t worth all that – “natural” kick and hats
Kirk adds wah without a reason"

FTW!!!

 

[KillFrenzy]

Holy crap! That was awesome! huahuahuahua.
A question though: the recording/mix/master will sound more like Master of Puppets, Death Magnetic or a mix of them? uhahuahua

 

[James Murphy]

yeah, that last section is pure gold

 

[dan weapon]

Thanks dudes - glad to be a source of some amusement!

 

[SocialNumb]

Awesome! Best lyrics in the world!

 

[Skinny Viking]

That fuckin "Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams" bit just killed me ... making it hard to look like I'm working when I'm laughing my ass off

Great job chief!

 

[grywolf627]

This deserves to be recorded!!!!

 

[F.E.T]

Fantastic!

 

[Youpimatin]

LMAO

 

[Exocaster]

yeah, that last section is pure gold

You beat me to it.

Fantastic.