Mindless Fun #2

[bonecraft7]

Here are the rules.....I will start the "chain story" and whoever posts next describes what happens next in the story....you keep adding on and leave space for the next person

=================================================


One day, Bill Cosby was walking through the Forest of Evol with his good friend, Jon Schaffer....they came upon a fork in the road. The sign at the fork in the road said....

 

[lizard]

"Metallica's New CD will be EXTREME!"

Jon Shaffer turned to Bill Cosby and said, "Bill, you're one of the foremost axe shredders in the world! What do you think?"

 

[bonecraft7]

(omfg that was great..lmfao)

Bill turned to Jon and said...

"Have yooooooooooooo ever noticed...that you sound the same on Melancholy and Die for You?" as he pulled out his giant stick of doom...

 

[Chromatose]

ABANDON PUDDING POPS, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.

and what happened then? well, in Whoville they say
That Jon Schaffer's small heart grew 3 sizes that day.
And then the true meaning of christmas came through
And Jon found the strength of ten grinches, plus 2!


using his newfound strength he brutally dismembered Bill Cosby, and drank the sweet sweet jello nectar from inside....

 

[bonecraft7]

(Okay let's keep that one LMFAO! who's gonna add to that?)

 

[lizard]

having renourished his body with Cosby's fluids, Shaffer began to feel an otherworldly power infuse his very being.

"Imagine," he thought to himself, "how I could feel with more nutrients such as that! Just suppose if I supped from the brain bowl of James Hetfield, now that he is no longer a lush? How much stronger I could become!"

With that idea in mind, he began marching toward the bay area.

 

[bonecraft7]

The trek to the bay area was long and hard, and at many times poor Shaffer thought that he would fall and die as he fought through hordes of orcs, wicked cool indian guys with bows, and horses....finally...he came to a stop in chinatown where he found...

 

[Chromatose]

a penny! "ooh everything's turning up jon-boy!" he thought, and giggled with glee.

suddenly the sky turned dark, and the ground began to shake beneath jon's feat.

Up ahead of him, the earth cracked, and mighty lord CTHULHU rose from a slimy blackness.

"JOOOOOOOON" blurbled Cthulhu, "FIIIND MEEEE A SHRUBBERYYYYYYYY" ...

 

[lizard]

a memorial raised to the memory of Bay Area semi legends Y&T.

"Pah," thought Shaffer. "At this point, nothing less than some delicious slices of Hetfield's cerebral cortex, slow simmered in a rich butter sauce, will slake my appetite."

A small street urchin stepped hesitantly from the shadows of a Chinese laundry.

"Mister, can you teach me some new guitar licks? I have no more musical imagination, and you look so wise..."

"What is your name, my son?" asked Shaffer.

"They call me Kirk...Kirk Hammet, back at the House of Blue Light Male Prostitute Emporium..."

 

[Chromatose]

hmmmm..

 

[bonecraft7]

It was then, that Kirk Hammet learned to play "Bawm Bawm ba bawm baaaaaaaaaawm" over and over again. In return, Hammet promised to forget all learned from Satriani and gave Shaffer a magnificent Shrubbery.

Feeling overjoyed, Shaffer followed the trail of hollowed out corpses in his wake and laid the shrubbery at the great Cthulu's feet..

and then...

 

[lizard]

a hard rain began to fall, as is San Francisco's wont.

A voice from behind Shaffer shook him from his calorie-induced lethargy. "Young man...yes, you with the hair..."

Shaffer turned quickly, his senses attuned to a potential attack.

"Toward you will come no attack!" said George W. Bush. "I must enlist you in the struggle against the totalitarian regime of Saddam Hussein!"

 

[bonecraft7]

Also enlisted were Shaffer's new posse
Michael Jackson, Bruce Campbell, and the sitcom star Fonzie
...alongside them a German named Hansi.

"Aaayyy" Said fonzie in a moment of delight.
"Aaaay" Said Hansi, causing Fonzie to fright.

"Now now boys, we can all play together." Said Cthulu with might. "With the Aid of George W, we'll bring eternal night."

They were led to a bunker, deep beneath a bar
The Manhole it was. Very deep, very hard.

They assembled around a table so small
Where George W made attention to a map on the wall...

 

[lizard]

It was a map of North Korea, but George had it upside down, so he mistakenly ordered the invasion of Uruguay.

After the uruguayan armed forces capitulated, Shaffer, George and the crew headed upstairs for a celebratory bash, as they all knew that back in the day, George had enjoyed getting blotto and doing nose candy. The party was going well, when suddenly, Michael Jackson grabbed Hansi Kursch and dangled him over the balcony!

 

[495]

Hansi called to his metalfriends from nearby Sweden. Through the streets and rubble, to the palace of King Jackson, Opeth played on the back of a tank. The song was Bleak... Bleak WAS the future of the mighty Lord of Womanliness...

 

[TheDreamingMind]

Jacko said he was very sorry, and apologetically offered to sleep with hansi, after the 'incident' hansi became instantly and magically impregnated and just one hour later he gave a mystical birth to evil leprechaun Warwick Davis, who proceeded to bludgeon and mutilate all the guests at the party.
But one man was left standing.....