Official Random Hilarity Thread

[Zob Rombie]

This is the Official Random Hilarity Thread! If you should so happen to find a funny pic, joke, or even a rant about something strange in the world... THIS IS THE PLACE!! Post it right here and we will see what kind of things this board can realllly come up with.... *i'll start*

 

[Zob Rombie]

I KNEW IT... I KNEW IT WAS REAL!! HELL ON EARTH!!​

 

[Will Bozarth]

suckenfeffer das haschenpenis


Coins flipping: you either get tail or you get head.

 

[Space Rabies]

http://www.funlol.com/content/content.php?img=0438.jpg

 

[Space Rabies]

 

[Karmic]

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

shall i repeat the old joke?
yes i shall.

If you are canoing upstream and a wheel breaks, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse?

None! Ice cream doesn't have bones.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?




















































Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

When you're going to the jon and the toilet papers gone
Be a man! Use your hand!

 

[Kvlt Wench]

These are instructions on consumer goods (or so I'm told).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottem): "Do not turn upside down." (A little late)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow. Talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medication." (Damn those 6 year olds with coughs driving forklifts!)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowiness." (Yeah, why else would you take it?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (What could it be??)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (No kidding....)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

 

[Will Bozarth]

On Wawa Iced Tea Container:

Add Ice For Iced Tea

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

hahah i've seen those countless times, but it still cracks me up

 

[Kvlt Wench]

These are church bulletin typos.

"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belcha all the way from Africa."

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choic practice."

"Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons."

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help."

"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered."

"The church rumage sale is this Saturday at noon. Ladies, this is a good chance for you to get rid of the useless junk around your house. Don't forget your husband."

"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."

"Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door."

"Weightwatchers meeting on Saturday at 9. Enter through the large double doors."

"The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'"

"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'"

 

[Chromatose]

nonsense!

 

[Kvlt Wench]

If Heaven was run by the European Community:

You'd be greeted at the door by the British
The food would be prepared by the French
The Germans would provide protection
The Italians would organize the fun and games

If Hell was run by the European Community:

You'd be greeted at the door by the French
The food would be prepared by the British
The Italians would provide protection
The Germans would organize the fun and games.