I've been to the last two PPs. I think our schedule is pretty indicative of the "average" PP attendee:Thursday AM - Get up. Meet other MrLonely at my place. Drink 2 bottles of Mimosas. Cab to airport. Check in. Hit bar. Drink Bloody Marys till we remember we have a flight to catch. Get on plane. Option 1 - sleep or pass out. Option 2 - Order a drink. Fuck Option 1.
Thursday Afternoon (wasn't that a Moody Blues song??) - Get off plane - hopefully after it's landed. Get handicapped cart to take us to cab area. Get in cab. Don't forget to stop by liquor store. Find biggest bottle of cheap scotch we can find. Buy two. Return to cab. Get to hotel. Check in. Blood level in alcohol system is approching unsafe high level. Get to room. Decision time. Option 1 - pass out. Option 2 - try to find ice machine, order room service open the cheap scotch. You guessed it - Fuck Option 1.
Thursday Evening - Put on anything that's black. Fortunately, every fucking thing we brought to wear is black. Good planning. Stumble to Earthlink Live. Hint to newbies - This is the advantage of staying in the same place every year. You don't get lost so easily. We like the Sheraton Suites (or is it Marriott Suites?? I can't ever remember, the other MrLonely always books the place) We like the suite, because it takes longer to trash because of the extra square footage. It also has a balcony so we can yell at the traffic and throw the horns to other drunk idiots wearing black. Note of caution: Priests and cops also have a lot of black on, so be careful. Some asshole might mistake the horns for the "Brooklyn Salute"!! Also, don't forget to put some clothes on before going out there - I know, it could happen to anybody. Oh yeah - and wait until it's dark before pissing off the balcony.
I'm sorry, where was I?? Oh yeah - Get to pre-party, hang out with other cool PP'ers, etc. You notice I didn't mention getting a drink. This is the advantage of getting totally shit-faced BEFORE arriving at the venue. You save money for CDs, and Cheetah 3. Doh
Also, last year, since we are from Texas, we had to explain to everyone why Rusty Cooley of Outworld wore the guitar so high and why all his guitars had more than 6 strings. After getting closer and verifying several times the string count (I counted 7, 8 and 9 on different guitars), I astutely concluded that Rusty is an over-achiever. The guitar is worn high so people in the back can see how fast he is. Obvious. I could not explain why his left hand was always a blur, however. Option 1 - I was drunk. Option 2 Rusty is a bad-ass shredder. Yup - Say it outloud - Fuck Option 1.Friday AM ( I know the title says Thursday, but they all kinda run together) - After the pre-party is over, go to someone's room at the Granada, where there are approximately 1,237 people in a room the size of a napkin and drink their booze and eat their pizza. If any dudes have a foriegn accent and long hair, get an autograph and try to figure out later if they are famous. When all of the parties at the Granada run out of booze or some large motherfucker with a foreign accent and long hair throws you out onto Peachtree St. just because you mistook his girlfriend's 38-DD boobs for a beer - I know - could happen to anybody.
Stumble back to Sheraton or Marriott - whatever. Ask the bellhop if he would push us to our room on one of those luggage carts. This is a clever way to avoid the embarrassment of a) Not remembering your room number; and b) Forgetting how to walk. Option 1 pass out. Don't make it to Option 2. Sorry.
Sorry this was so long - got carried away. I'm at work, so I'll have to post the Friday and Saturday installments in different posts.
Chris
:zombie:
