Poem for a Rainy Day

[chupe666]

I DO NOT LIKE AMON AMARTH

Once, in the land of Zimble-boo,
Where honkweed grew and brimbles flew,
There lived two fans of heavy metal
Who had a great big score to settle.

One, named Nod, was into stuff
That could never be True enough
He always said to his friend Barth,
"I do not like Amon Amarth."

Barth, instead, was just the kind
To try and have an open mind
He worshiped metal in all its forms
And any music outside the norm.

At the Frizz-Frazz Works, all day they worked
And Barth thought Nod a tiresome jerk
For from his truck, he would go get
Graveland, Darkthrone and Negura Bunget.

"I have here bootleg tapes of Mayhem,
I will not hesitate to play them.
They feature both Dead and Euronymous
You dont like these? Ha! You wuss!

Their freezing grimness frightens thee
And flays your soul and sanity.
Thou art untrue, my weak friend Barth.
Thats why you like Amon Amarth."

"But Nod," Barth said, his voice a-quiver
"I have catalogs from Spinefarm and Shiver,
Necropolis and House of Kicks
Some bands have learned a few new tricks.

And while it's true these newer bands
Have killed no one by their own hands
There is no law in Zimble-boo
That says all metal must be true."

"Fuck off, you poser!" Nod exclaimed.
"May thy weak ass perish in flames!
The corporate labels are your friends,
To them you look for mindless trends.

"I will not like your Borknagar,
So please don't play it in your car,
I'd sooner hacksaw off my ear
Than listen to Dimmu Borgir

"God Dethroned just makes me laugh
Cradle of Filth incurs my wrath
And most of all, my lame friend Barth,
I do not like Amon Amarth."

"But would you like them, Nod, if soon
They did a record for Full Moon?"
"Not e'en on vinyl, you buffoon
I would not like them on Full Moon."

"But would you like them, Nod my friend,
If they did a record for The End?"
"Those corporate followers of trend?
Not on your life. I will not bend!"

"Well, how about Necropolis?"
"On them I take a healthy piss!"
"Surely you like Misanthropy."
"You Christian tool, begone from me!

"Please do not mention Hammerheart
Those thieves of diabolic art
Your head is so far up your ass
You might as well say Nuclear Blast

"And mention not Century Media
Or else I will be forced to beat-y ya
Please, Metal Blade? Have you no balls?
Those bastards signed the Goo Goo Dolls!!"

"But Nod," Barth cried, "this band is good
They hate the Lord, just as they should
Their sound is great, which is what you get when
Its engineered by Peter Tägtgren

And though its all been done before
It kicks much ass, you can be sure
So take it from your old friend Barth,
Youd really like Amon Amarth."

At this, Nod flew into a fit
And tore poor Barth to little bits
He murdered him with Satan's might
Then went to jail without a fight

And there, he only got to hear
What people taped for his imprisoned ear
He could not buy from catalogs
From Breath of Night or from Moonfog

No compact discs could he possess
Only dubbed tapes, to his distress
But then one day, he got a mix
From some homely Goth pen-pal chick

She taped him Emperor and Dawn
Dark Funeral and Apollyon
She even filled all of side two
With bands like Opeth and Lilitu.

And when our Nod was forced to hear
These different bands, his pagan ear
Was startled, and his beady eyes
Did widen in complete surprise

He liked these bands! Yes, quite a bit!
It made old Darkthrone sound like shit
It wasnt kult, to be quite fair
But he realized, he didnt care!

And on the end of this cassette
One more surprise awaited yet
Amon Amarth, the very band
That made Nod kill his bestest friend

The final song that was in store,
"God, His Son, and the Holy Whore,"
From The Avenger, their new CD,
Came blasting out of Cell Block Three.

Why, Nod was startled and perturbed
"Where is this place called Gothenburg?
That buzzsaw sound, these catchy songs
I could enjoy this all day long!

"Ive seen the error of my ways
But who is this right now that plays?"
He checked the listing on the tape,
Then laughed and said "For goodness sake!

"Barth, had I but listened to thee
You'd be alive, and I'd be free
So hey, I owe ya one, ol Barth
I do so like Amon Amarth!"

 

[FuSoYa]

it hasn;t rained here in weeks and I'm oh-so-happeee

 

[chupe666]

More flooding feared as local rivers rise

By Aamer Madhani
Tribune staff reporter
Published August 22, 2002, 1:12 PM CDT

Heavy rains swamped local waterways this morning, with the Fox and Des Plaines Rivers quickly rising to flood stage in the suburbs as standing water that had closed streets and the CTA Red Line subway in Chicago slowly drained.

The Des Plaines River in northwest suburban Des Plaines was swelling to its five-foot flood level today and was expected to crest tonight at eight feet, then rapidly decline, said Bill Nelson, a meteorologist for the National Weather Service in Romeoville.

Separately, witnesses reported sandbagging efforts to keep rising water out of a neighborhood along a tributary of the Des Plaines near Ballard and Potter Roads, on the east side of the city that shares the river's name.

Des Plaines officials said they had fielded several calls from homeowners of flooded basements.

"We've had a lot worse, but people are starting to cautiously sandbag because more rain is still expected," said police spokesman Chris Terrazzino.

Downstream in west suburban Riverside, the river was approaching the six-foot flood stage and was expected to crest at nine feet Friday morning, Nelson said.

Meanwhile, the Fox River in far northwest Algonquin was less than a foot below the three-foot flood stage and would crest at 3.5 feet Friday.

“The water there tends to level off, so it might take a little time before it declines,” Nelson said.

The National Weather Service issued a flood warning for nine northern Illinois counties: Boone, Cook, DeKalb, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, Ogle and Winnebago.

The weather service estimated five to eight inches of rain had fallen across northern Illinois, from Galena to Chicago. Thunderstorms are expected to continue through Friday.

By noon, the storms produced an official rainfall reading of 4.45 inches at O'Hare International Airport, according to WGN-Ch. 9 meteorologist Tom Skilling. Unofficially, 4.88 inches of rain fell in Mt. Prospect, and 4.6 inches, in Mundelein.

Elsewhere across the region, flooding this morning closed the north and southbound lanes of the Edens Expressway at Willow Road near north suburban Winnetka. Earlier, the Edens had been closed at Pratt Boulevard because of standing water.

The westbound lanes of Interstate Highway 190 at Mannheim Road leading into O’Hare International Airport also were closed.

Red Line disrupted

Parts of the CTA Red Line subway also were flooded, and stations at Clark and Division Streets and North and Clybourn Avenues were closed because of standing water. The subway, which runs under State Street in the Loop, reopened shortly after 9 a.m.

While the subway was closed, trains were detoured over the Brown/Purple Line elevated tracks, following that line to Lake and Wells Streets in the Loop, then turning east on Lake to Wabash Avenue and south on Wabash over the Green/Orange Line to rejoin the Red Line at Cermak Road.

The Red Line re-routing caused congestion on tracks leading to the Loop. At one point, Brown and Purple Line trains were backed up at the Fullerton Avenue stop, and passengers who tried to transfer there were unable to board packed Red Line cars, witnesses said.

Rosalyn Crowe, 61, of Evanston, said she could "kick herself" for taking the CTA this morning to her job at a catering business downtown. "I always avoid the CTA in inclement weather. I don’t know why I didn’t take Metra today," Crowe said as she stood at the Fullerton platform with other commuters shortly after 9 a.m.

Metra reported no weather-related delays in its commuter train service.

More than 15,000 Commonwealth Edison customers were without power, with the blackouts concentrated in Rockford, Waukegan and Libertyville.

Flights at O’Hare International Airport and Midway Airport were delayed for 30 to 90 minutes, and cancellations were expected, Chicago Department of Aviation spokeswoman Monique Bond said.

"It’s going to be a slow travel day," she said.

Beaches closed

Swimming in Lake Michigan from the Ohio Street Beach in downtown Chicago to Juneway Terrace on the city’s northern edge was banned for two days, Chicago Park District spokeswoman Angelynne Amores said.

The park district banned swimming when the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago opened locks in Wilmette and Chicago after heavy rainfall caused sewers to overflow and the Chicago River to rise.

"This is a last resort because we know the overflow from the sewers is not just rainwater, it’s partly sewage," spokeswoman Peggy Bradley said. "What’s going into the river and eventually into the lake is highly diluted."

In the downtown area, city crews worked quickly to pump stormwater out of a construction pit in Millennium Park. The water threatened to undermine and topple a construction crane for the new Chicago Music and Dance Theater.

Water also was pumped out of part of the lowest level of the Millennium Park garage, which had about a foot of standing water this morning. Most of the garage was open this afternoon.

Tribune transportation reporter Jon Hilkevitch, Tribune staff reporter Liam Ford, WGN-Ch. 9 and the Associated Press contributed to this report.


Copyright © 2002, Chicago Tribune

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/showcase/chi-020822storm.story?coll=chi-news-hed

 

[ShadowLioness]

You could read that poem in such a soft voice to a group of little kids sitting Indian style and sucking on lollipops...they wouldn't have a clue that it contained profanity and murder

Alright don't ask me where that came from, maybe cuz it had such a sing-song quality to it...or maybe my lack of sleep is catching up to me, or..........seriously, I liked the poem

 

[chupe666]

I didn't make it up. It was from a while back, and I was cleaning out some folders at work and found it. We recited it over the air on the radio show we used to do, and that was a couple years back. Here's Larry's guitar in an AMON AMARTH's hands...