preppy!!!

[minxnim]

hmm maybe later today when less clients come in i will have time to type out an old school lab/coroner's office personal story.

 

[goatschool]

i love when prep assumes CARCASS mode

 

[minxnim]

Okay. so I used to have an internship at the coroner’s office when I was planning on going to medical school (I may still go, but I deferred…. On the basis that I am not a big fan of humans, and not sure I really want to help them… but anyway…) one time the coroner was trying to determine cause of death for this guy who basically just seemed to die out of nowhere in his lounge chair (like, a lazy-boy or something) after he had dinner. it was about 11 pm by the time we got to him because there was some weird drug overdose situation before that (ie, don't take GBA DUDEZ!) So we had to take out his stomach contents and all this stuff, and weigh his organs, take blood and tissue samples, look at his heart, and check his brain. First of all, his stomach had the weirdest shit in it. like an entirely UNCHEWED pretzel., like one of the big twisty kind, the giant ones. How did he eat it like that? we will never know, cuz he’s dead. Also, he apparently liked to eat honey roasted peanuts A LOT. He had a large jar’s worth in there, and must have eaten them less than 1 hour before dying, along with the pretzel, AND his dinner.
All in all it was uneventful, except that we could NOT find a cause of death (other than maybe eating extraneous amounts of crappy food… not really but whatever…) so like, when you need to look at someone’s brain, you saw the top of their head off, or at least the back, or use a probe. They tried to probe to see if he had a stroke or aneurysm because his eyes showed signs of brain insult (insult being the weird medical reference to an injury to the brain, or some kind of something up in there that is messing with it). They probed, and LIQUID brain matter started shooting out of the entry hole in his head like, everywhere. All on my neck and my cheek and my shirt. I smelled like rotten brain and I couldn’t get it off my shirt. Subsequently I had to burn the shirt in my dad’s wood stove because it stank up the entire closet.

Turns out he had a massive brain tumor that increased his cranial pressure. Anyway, the dude never had symptoms. Weird.

i know this isn't as good as the bucket of guts story but i feel like an ass typing that story out twice!

 

[avi]

ack!!!

 

[minxnim]

i can't remember if i told the story about the fire victim ?

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

I don't think so!

 

[minxnim]

okay maybe if i have a chance i will tell that one later.

 

[deadair]

THIS IS THE BEST THREAD EVER... 4EVA

 

[minxnim]

wow, you are the only people who liked my story?!?!

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

Who cares! weknow that story was the shit! I am really confused (and so are a bunch of my co-workers) about the pretzle though. Do you mean like a big soft pretzle? or a sourdough pretzle?

 

[avi]

where's the love?

 

[The Dope]

Good story.

 

[minxnim]

the pretzel was one of those hard ones, not the soft kind. like the hard dutch pretzels that are like 3" across!

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

dude I love those. snyder's of hanover pretzles are the shit. but how ANYONE could get one down their gullet in one piece is totally beyond me.

 

[minxnim]

the coroner was like 'holy crap!' and we all stared at this sort of soggy pretzel in awe.

 

[azal]

Originally posted by the_preppy
this moring deloris called me at home and said 'i'm gonna be late because shit's cold out there'.

i love her.

Deloris is so black.

 

[minxnim]

um sort of.

 

[RealmArchitect]

um...
no one ever answered my question.
but it was totally made up for by the awesome story.

i thought about becoming a mortician i am just not certain yet. it would be great to have cool stories like that of my own.