Kryten: They've taken Mr Rimmer, Sir they've taken Mr Rimmer!
Cat: Quick, let's get the hell outta here before they bring him back.
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Rimmer to Cat: I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion, but in future I think the thing you should bring is silence.
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Rimmer: Go to Red alert!
Kryten: Are you absolutely sure sir, it does mean changing the bulb.
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Lister: Is it me, or is Wilma Flintstone incredibly sexy?
Cat: Wilma Flintstone is without question the most desirable woman who ever lived.
Lister: That's good, I thought I was going a bit whacko. What d'you think of Betty?
Cat: Betty Rubble? We-ell, I would go with Betty, but I'd be thinking of Wilma.
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Rimmer: So , Hollie. What time do you reckon it is?
Hollie: Well with all the available data, i'd say round about lunchtime, maybe half one
Rimmer: NO dingleberrybreath! The year, the date!
Hollie: Well i'd need some more info before i could give you a precise answer
Rimmer: Like?
Hollie: Well this years calender would be handy!
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Lister:"Where is everybody Holl?"
Holly: "they're dead Dave"
"Who is?"
"Everybody Dave"
"What Captain Hollister?"
"Everybodys dead Dave"
"What Toddhunter?"
"Everybodies dead Dave"
"What Selby?"
"They're all dead, everybodys dead Dave"
"Peterson is he...?"
"Everybody is dead Dave"
"Not Chen?"
"Gordon Bennet, yes Chen, everybody,everybody is dead Dave"
"Rimmer?"
"He's dead Dave, everybodies dead, everybody is dead Dave"
"Wait are you trying to tell me everybodies dead?"
"should never have let him out in the first place"
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Cat: All in all, a hundred percent successful trip!
Kryten: But sir! We lost Mr. Rimmer!
Cat: All in all, a hundred percent successful trip!
------
Ace Rimmer: Sorry Bongo. I'm strictly butter side up!
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Rimmer: Better dead than smeg!
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Rimmer: I'm a competitive man, Kryten, always have been. That's what makes me what I am.
Kryten: We're all perfectly well aware of what you are, sir.
------
Rimmer: Would it harm you to have hair like mine?
Cat: I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head.
------
Rimmer: What is there one could possibly loathe about me?
Kryten: Would you like the list, sir?
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Lister: Knowledge is power. Who said that?
Rimmer: I don't know.
Lister: Nor do I.
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Cat: I'm so gorgeous there's a 6 month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time I am near.
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Holly: I've been down to the cargo bay, they've got stuff in there that would make your hair stand on end.
Lister: Really, what is it?
Holly: Brylcreme
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And to end on . . .
The Rimmer Song
If your in trouble he will save the day
he's brave and he's fearless come what may
Without him the mission would go astray
He's Arnold Arnold Arnold Rimmer
Without him life would be much grimmer
He's handsome, trim there's no one slimmer
He will never need a zimmer
He's Arnold Arnold Arnold Rimmer
more reliable than a garden strimmer
he'll never be mistaken for Yul Brynner
he's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer
Master of the wit and the reparte
His command of space directories is uncanny
how come he's a genius don't ask me
He's Arnold Arnold Arnold Rimmer
He's also a fantastic swimmer
And if you play your cars right he just might come round for dinner.
And on that note TOODLE PIPSKIE!!!!!
