Comrades,
Its that time of year again. What time of year you ask? When PEARL makes her mom take her shopping and I can type, rather than making her bath water. Its late autumn and dont the trees look lovely as they die? Yes, the holidays are upon ME, the new year looms, my birthday is imminent and its time for everybodys favorite thing in the whole world; LISTEN TO MY INNANE TOP 10 LIST!!!
Ive spent long minutes thinking about this stuff in between episodes of A Cooks Tour with Tony Bourdain and kissin my girlfriends ass (you would to for free rent) .
I like making lists so Ill try not to bore you too badly with my opinions (thats a first) of things from this two thousand and third year of our lord Satan. Im cool, because you would of said Christ)
Im not a Satanist (I'm a asshole), I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
On to the lists!!
I guess Ill start with the obvious one. The list that makes most sense for you the reader of this supposedly music related column.
My Favorite Restaurants of 2003:
1. LAmi Louis Paris $MEATLOAFs credit card
2. Matsuhisa Los Angeles $Pearl credit card
3. Il Mulino NYC KIRKs credit card
4. Babbo NYC $money I saved by not paying rent
5. Angelini Osteria Los Angeles $Pearl card
6. Campanile Los Angeles $Sticker money
7. Blue Ribbon - NYC $money saved by giving free shit as Christmas presents
8. Sale Y Pepe London $band credit card
9. Mastros Los Angeles
10. Les Halles NYC $I'm gay
11. Gibsons - Chicago $I know Keanu Reeves
I'm a bald jew. I look like Gollum blah, blah blah!!
OK, I know youre pissed off now saying Who gives a shit about the stupid restaurants he likes, except for the pizza place, thanks for the tip! I dont care what you think, I'll never sign your cd;s and I'll never meet you (because Pearl doesnt let me talk to fans because there might be a girl around) Dont worry, here comes the next list.
My Favorite Jew Of 2003 : ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
Next.
My Favorite Movies Of 2004: (I already gave you my 2003 list in 2002 to show you how fucking cool I am)
1. SPIDER MAN 2
2. Lost In Translation 2
3. Mystic River 2
4. CONSTATINE
5. MASK 2
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7. "ANY MOVIE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF"
8. ANY JAPANESE MOVIE everyone else SAW A YEAR AGO
Will Ferrell wins it for funniest everything of the year. Maybe I can become friends with him and lick his butthole like I do with the MR SHOW people.
Jackass of the year would be the team of ME and PEARL
And now on to more important things like:
Favorite Beer Of 2003: I like beer
Favorite Whisky Of 2003: Anything I can have our production guy steal from the band dressing room
Favorite Wine Of 2003: When my wife wines
Favorite Dessert Wine Of 2003: My wifes butthole
Heres another list to annoy you with;
My Favorite TV Shows of 2003:
1. Six Feet Under
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm
3. The Office
4. The Simpsons
5. The Sopranos (even though there wasnt a new episode in 2003)
6. Conan OBrien
7. I hate KORN but I will kiss there ass to tour with them
8. I hate Metallica, Kirks ass is just so warm
9. I hate Gene Simmons even though I have him forever on my chicken jew leg
My Favorite Books Of 2003:
LOWLY DORKS, ONLY I AM INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO READ BOOKS!!
And finally, the list youve been waiting for. Or not.
My Favorite Albums Of 2003
1. DAMAGEPLAN
2. Just put a rap band here that you've never heard of..
3. Queens Of The Stone Age Songs For The Deaf -There like KYUSS only gay but I still like them
4. Mother Superior 13 Violets I have to put them or my wife will yell at me
5. CKY Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild
6. Johnny Cash American IV: The Man Comes Around
So there you have it. My memory along with my being is an asshole so I probably forgot some things. If you check out some of this stuff, cool. But it doesnt matter because I will never meet any of you
Happy holidays to me,
Scott
Its that time of year again. What time of year you ask? When PEARL makes her mom take her shopping and I can type, rather than making her bath water. Its late autumn and dont the trees look lovely as they die? Yes, the holidays are upon ME, the new year looms, my birthday is imminent and its time for everybodys favorite thing in the whole world; LISTEN TO MY INNANE TOP 10 LIST!!!
Ive spent long minutes thinking about this stuff in between episodes of A Cooks Tour with Tony Bourdain and kissin my girlfriends ass (you would to for free rent) .
I like making lists so Ill try not to bore you too badly with my opinions (thats a first) of things from this two thousand and third year of our lord Satan. Im cool, because you would of said Christ)
Im not a Satanist (I'm a asshole), I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
On to the lists!!
I guess Ill start with the obvious one. The list that makes most sense for you the reader of this supposedly music related column.
My Favorite Restaurants of 2003:
1. LAmi Louis Paris $MEATLOAFs credit card
2. Matsuhisa Los Angeles $Pearl credit card
3. Il Mulino NYC KIRKs credit card
4. Babbo NYC $money I saved by not paying rent
5. Angelini Osteria Los Angeles $Pearl card
6. Campanile Los Angeles $Sticker money
7. Blue Ribbon - NYC $money saved by giving free shit as Christmas presents
8. Sale Y Pepe London $band credit card
9. Mastros Los Angeles
10. Les Halles NYC $I'm gay
11. Gibsons - Chicago $I know Keanu Reeves
I'm a bald jew. I look like Gollum blah, blah blah!!
OK, I know youre pissed off now saying Who gives a shit about the stupid restaurants he likes, except for the pizza place, thanks for the tip! I dont care what you think, I'll never sign your cd;s and I'll never meet you (because Pearl doesnt let me talk to fans because there might be a girl around) Dont worry, here comes the next list.
My Favorite Jew Of 2003 : ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
Next.
My Favorite Movies Of 2004: (I already gave you my 2003 list in 2002 to show you how fucking cool I am)
1. SPIDER MAN 2
2. Lost In Translation 2
3. Mystic River 2
4. CONSTATINE
5. MASK 2
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7. "ANY MOVIE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF"
8. ANY JAPANESE MOVIE everyone else SAW A YEAR AGO
Will Ferrell wins it for funniest everything of the year. Maybe I can become friends with him and lick his butthole like I do with the MR SHOW people.
Jackass of the year would be the team of ME and PEARL
And now on to more important things like:
Favorite Beer Of 2003: I like beer
Favorite Whisky Of 2003: Anything I can have our production guy steal from the band dressing room
Favorite Wine Of 2003: When my wife wines
Favorite Dessert Wine Of 2003: My wifes butthole
Heres another list to annoy you with;
My Favorite TV Shows of 2003:
1. Six Feet Under
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm
3. The Office
4. The Simpsons
5. The Sopranos (even though there wasnt a new episode in 2003)
6. Conan OBrien
7. I hate KORN but I will kiss there ass to tour with them
8. I hate Metallica, Kirks ass is just so warm
9. I hate Gene Simmons even though I have him forever on my chicken jew leg
My Favorite Books Of 2003:
LOWLY DORKS, ONLY I AM INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO READ BOOKS!!
And finally, the list youve been waiting for. Or not.
My Favorite Albums Of 2003
1. DAMAGEPLAN
2. Just put a rap band here that you've never heard of..
3. Queens Of The Stone Age Songs For The Deaf -There like KYUSS only gay but I still like them
4. Mother Superior 13 Violets I have to put them or my wife will yell at me
5. CKY Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild
6. Johnny Cash American IV: The Man Comes Around
So there you have it. My memory along with my being is an asshole so I probably forgot some things. If you check out some of this stuff, cool. But it doesnt matter because I will never meet any of you
Happy holidays to me,
Scott
