So I got the new Amorphis single the other day... I hate Finnish "metal"

[Jim LotFP]

... now, I still don't download anything so I haven't heard the album, but people who do and who have were talking it up like some return to form. Growls, Kalevala...

... got the single... this House of Sleep horseshit... imagine my surprise...

WHEN I HEAR ANOTHER BAND THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM!

HIM HIM HIM.

Is there some law that every band with guitars in this country has to sound like that? It's worse that Stratovarius worship by many degrees, and that's saying something. I wish I'd heard HIM sooner so I could have pooped all over a few more bands for their obvious wanna-be-isms, like SENTENCED.

argh

argh

argh.

Why, Amorphis? WHY?

Funniest thing ever... (not)... my fiance, to my shame, has a HIM tattoo of that thingy on the back of her neck. She also watches Viva La Bam, so I don't know what's worse... her taste in music and television, or my taste in women for being around one with that taste in music and television.

So anyway, there was a TV special, on Finnish television, about this Bam character hosting a special about... HIM. yup, a Finnish special about a Finnish band in English, that some poor Finnish bastard had to subtitle. *beats self about the head and neck*

And this 69 Eyes thing... man, nothing makes me wish Finland was a Middle Eastern country with a suicide bomber problem like the thought of a 69 Eyes concert.

That one will make me popular with immigration officials. *ahem*

If it weren't for Reverend Bizarre, Finnish heavy metal would be dead to me.

DOOM OVER THE WORLD!

 

[BenMech]

Couldn't it be that Susanna's taste in men is, err, questionable ?

Meanwhile, I HAVE heard the new Amorphis album, and I'll say this:

The album is comprised of songs with a key idea of where and when Amorphis got things right (Elegy/My Kantele ep), and an idea of where they MIGHT be going. BUT (big but there), the songs themselves aren't that good. Analogy: A derailed cargo train pointed in the directions of the original traintracks, but not either on the physical rails or reaching the destination yet.

As for His Infernal Majesty: I don't call them metal (but you CAN hear the dirty grind basswork of say Entombed), but I do say they know how to write a fairly decent pop tune.

 

[Jim LotFP]

As for His Infernal Majesty: I don't call them metal (but you CAN hear the dirty grind basswork of say Entombed), but I do say they know how to write a fairly decent pop tune.

That's the whole problem with them. If they were just another pop rock band, then I could ignore them and not give a poop that they have a billion teenage girls cheering for them, like Poison or something.

But they have that 'mysterious underground Finnish love metal oh so ppuurreee' thing going on, which makes talking to anybody a painful experience.

HIM = The Darkness with less smiles. heehee

 

[Occam's Razor]

Well, HIM, at leaast they initiated that whole thing. Now look at those 69 Eyes, Negative and even worse offshoots like The Rasmus. The latter two are supporting HIM right now in Germany - all of them are very successful in making our little girls here wet their pants...

Amorphis...could you ever take them seriously again after ripping off Pink Floyd on the last album.

And whenever there are rumours about bands going back to the roots - they are worth shit - see Metallica, Sentenced (oh, a death metal instrumental on their farewell album - how nostalgic!) or Paradise Lost...

 

[Jim LotFP]

And whenever there are rumours about bands going back to the roots - they are worth shit - see Metallica, Sentenced (oh, a death metal instrumental on their farewell album - how nostalgic!) or Paradise Lost...

Well, yeah... but... still... old Amorphis... worth hoping for, anyway.

 

[Occam's Razor]

The last time I hoped was before Iced Earth's latest record (says the ex-fan)...