Somewhat personal problem

[PeeWee1473]

Hm, I can't believe I'm really gonna post this on here but I figure I'll never see any of you anyway so it doesn't matter. I recently got a girlfriend. We've been moving pretty quick and this is the first person that I've really "messed around" with. So anyway, the problem is this: The captain won't do his thing. I mean, initially I get an erection when we start, but then it goes down and won't come back up. So then this leaves her feeling inadequate and she thinks I'm not attracted to her. WTF is going on? I've never had a problem with this before. I mean admittedly, I've pretty much just watched porn my whole life but I never had a problem sustaining an erection before. Ack. What's going on?

 

[Parasite]

Quit being nervous.

 

[-Desecrated-]

It can be one of many things...


1. You're too nervous.

2. You're too nervous.

3. You're too nervous.

4. You're gay.


Do you lose your erection before actual intercourse, or right in the middle of it? I'm standing by my 'you're probably just nervous' explanation. So relax, and if it helps try working up to the sex part. Don't just start going at it like dogs. A little foreplay, some sensual massaging, a little licking... Y'know what I mean? Add some sensual herbs(incense!) to the mix too. Lavender immediately comes to mind. Get creative, damnit!

 

[Thorns of Sorrow]

Used to happen to me when I was just starting out...Still happens, albeit rare, but it still happens. Which is why, jerking off with some porn is still better than sex for me. Umm, nerves could be the problem. Or what might be the problem, which was the problem for me...I thought sex was going to be great and crazy and amazing (every now and then it is) so like, when I found out it wasnt this huge stimulating expereince the world makes it out to be, I couldnt get hard, cuz I honestly was not turned on...I mean I was, but not in the way I always wanted to be...Times goes by, you adapt and youll have the problem less and less.

 

[PeeWee1473]

Used to happen to me when I was just starting out...Still happens, albeit rare, but it still happens. Which is why, jerking off with some porn is still better than sex for me. Umm, nerves could be the problem. Or what might be the problem, which was the problem for me...I thought sex was going to be great and crazy and amazing (every now and then it is) so like, when I found out it wasnt this huge stimulating expereince the world makes it out to be, I couldnt get hard, cuz I honestly was not turned on...I mean I was, but not in the way I always wanted to be...Times goes by, you adapt and youll have the problem less and less.

Well, this makes me feel better knowing it's not something wrong with just me. We haven't actually had intercourse yet but we got awful close and basically, yeah, the whole buildup to it was not quite what society has made it out to be. Actually, I've enjoyed talking to her and just holding her close much more than fooling around. I know there will be cries of "GAY" but I can assure you I have never been attracted to a man that I have met. Well, I guess I'll have to see what happens.

 

[Cynical Bastard]

If the buildup isn't that great, one of you must be a bad kisser or something, because foreplay with my girlfriend is everything I ever thought it would be and more. It's exhilarating and amazing and looking into her eyes and then passionately kissing her is the greatest feeling in the world to me. We've been going out for over a year and still aren't even having all-out sex yet, because she's afraid of the chance of getting pregnant (if you knew her family situation, you'd understand) but that doesn't even matter to me since everything else is so great. And yes, my significant other is like my best friend too, so I can relate on how wonderful it is just quietly chatting and holding each other without doing anything.

But as for anyone saying being intimate with someone like that isn't that great and all... bullshit. Either you're doing something wrong, haven't been with the right person yet, or are emotionally detached in such a way as to reduce your enjoyment of the whole moving experience it can be under the right circumstances/mood.

 

[Eirik]

I dunno what to tell ya but I'm agreeing with the Bastard.. you must be doing something wrong cause the buildup is fantabulous!