Nick has some cool pictures (of people and bands) when he gets online and uploads 'em. One of my favorites includes me, Nick, my friend Dan and Jeremy/Seed wearing different Devourment shirts and posing in a very stoic, slam-death-band-esque fashion. I thought it was a pretty effective parody.
I managed somehow to totally avoid Matt yet still talk plenty to Ray/cook-ta, Brandon/swizzlenuts and Jean-Pierre, which was simultaneously amusing and confusing considering how much the Morbid Knocking crew was together. Both J-P and Brandon attempted to kill me via strangling attempts, but said attempts were in vain. Ray didn't try to kill me, and for that I greatly respect him. Some more highlights below:
-Grant's various hilarious drunken behaviors incl. but not limited to "'Grant, I thought you were--' 'A GHOST!?'" and his soon-to-be-posted drunken air guitaring/air drumming to Darkthrone. Oh, and he also tells people to fuck off a hell of a lot more when drunk, which is funny.
-Front row Devourment with Guy/addo and Schmidt/yoda. I think every bouncer unloaded two whole water bottles on the front row, which was both refreshing and fucking annoying.
-facepalming at Dillon/viewer for stealing the elevator up/down light-covers (oh, sorry I meant touching them and subsequently noticing that they came off and then subsequently just taking them)
-Nick telling Dillon, Jeremy, and the other dudes to "shut the fuck up" when they came in at 6 AM drunk as fuck and boisterous. That was awesome. If it aids in people understanding why it was awesome, it's mainly because Nick is quiet and really reserved and it takes a lot to get him sufficiently angry to say something like that.
-Amazing sets and thrashing/headbanging/being fucking crushed during Bolt Thrower, Asphyx, Hail of Bullets, Aura Noir, Absu, Devourment, Sigh and a few more, thought almost everything I saw was at least fun/good enough.
-A reminder why I don't do pits/circle pits; I am way too fragile and small to pull it off...it's lame anyway *cry*
-Superfresh, and many people's virgin trips there. May ye all be scarred eternally...fun fact: "Maze of Torment" was written about the Baltimore Superfresh.
-Epic beer table. Pic possibly forthcoming.
-Meeting the people I hadn't ever met yet; you guys made the experience enjoyable as fuck, in addition to all the old friends I've known since last year and previously sometimes, and the two dudes who don't even use UM who came by my recommendation, Tyler and Tom (who were really cool and might be joining the forum soon). *"awwwww" crowd sound* (no but seriously its true)
-Merch rooms + outside merch + lots of great hidden gems and awesome stuff = wallet rape, all weekend long. Guy and I, for instance, seriously probably would have spent our entire life savings if we had total access to it.
More as I think of them. Feel free to amend my list with your own if you were there and remember something I don't.
edit: Re: band's sets. I agree with Matt on Bolt Thrower, both times they played (the second was inside in place of Pestilence, fuck them anyway)...the crowd became a gigantic amorphous bulldozer/steamroller/other heavy machinery of your choice (tank might be more apt) during both of their incredibly solid sets. Also, Jo Bench looks like she's aging backwards, a feeling various people I spoke with agreed upon. Also saw Willets a few times in the merch room in transit to the back areas and just kind of wandering around. I also agree on HOB, who I didn't like the album of, but who kicked a lot of ass in the live arena (and essentially played the entire album, just out of order and minus a few songs). I can't really agree on Mayhem, I thought their sound was solid, but I came in slightly late for them and don't know if my arrival was post-fixing the sound, which I heard happened around 3-4 songs in(?). Absu, I didn't feel was quiet, but that they were waaaay too fucking bassy which is pretty much the opposite of how a lot of their stuff sounds (I don't think that offhand I can think of a moment in Tara where the bass is interesting/prominent, for instance), and Proscriptor was really underwhelming. Their setlist was cool, though they didn't honor my request of THRAAAAASHSTORMS...hearing people yell Absu songs as requests is funny because they don't have many catchy titles to yell...I laughed at a guy yelling "THE MAGICIAN'S LAPIS LAZULI" for some reason. Also, if you heard someone doing the trademark Proscriptor-high pitched falsetto, it was likely me.
Speaking of seeing band members, a couple people in our rooms saw Van Drunen making out with some woman (I'm not sure if he's married or what) super-intensely, which is both disturbing and hilarious. A few of us saw Mirai and Mikannibal of Sigh walking around hand in hand throughout the Plaza and the hill to the Sonar. Don't know who else saw Götz of Deathevokation (tall blond dude with a white Deathevokation shirt, blue logo) but a good chunk of my weekend was spent seeking him out for a fucking shirt he said he had (which I told him I would be glad to pay more than he was even asking for it), which never manifested itself to me. I still shook his hand a few times and chatted with him, so it's all good.
tldr: there is no tldr version, fuck off and die.
