The Italy thread

[Malergion]

That's Florida. We won't have to nuke them, though. All we have to do is wait for a hurricane.

 

[Dead Winter]

Do you know that there are Jehovah's Witnesses here too? And yes, they knock on your door repeatedly trying to preach their thing just like they do in the states.

It just goes to show that no matter where you go, there's always someone who thinks they know what's good for everyone else.

 

[Captain Beard]

Oh you mean the 7 a year and they still stay there?

 

[Malergion]

We don't need to nuke the Witnesses. They're good for a laugh.

 

[Captain Beard]

Open the door with a hard-on. They'd leave you alone.

 

[Malergion]

I'll settle for coming to the door while blaring Bum Sluts II on the TV.

 

[Captain Beard]

You did that?

 

[Malergion]

I wouldn't buy a porn called "Bum Sluts", but the idea stands. I will do it if the opportunity arises.

 

[Captain Beard]

Or you could answer the door covered in fake blood and ask if they'd like to join the orgy.

 

[Malergion]

Except, I wouldn't call it an orgy.

That's too passe...I'd call it something catchy, like a sanguinalia.

 

[Captain Beard]

Then try to tongue kiss one of the JWs!

 

[Malergion]

With a goat's head, naturally.

 

[Captain Beard]

I think at this point we'd get the police stopping by to see why the JW is screaming hysterically on your front lawn.

 

[Malergion]

He'd naturally join in.

 

[Captain Beard]

If he was Barlow, he might, actually. And sing about it too.

 

[Dead Winter]

Funny story:

My neighbor is this really old bi-polar woman who's really sweet one minute and then breaking your balls the next. All her family is in France and she's all alone here, so she takes every opportunity to speak to whomever passes by. Well, the JWs passed by one day and she invited them in. They talked for maybe an hour or so and she was nice and listening to them, interested the entire time. Then all of a sudden she tells them (in Italian), "Bah, you're all full of shit...get the fuck out of my house."

Tears were streaming down my face from laughing.

 

[Malergion]

In the fiery caverns, we rail?

 

[Malergion]

Funny story:

My neighbor is this really old bi-polar woman who's really sweet one minute and then breaking your balls the next. All her family is in France and she's all alone here, so she takes every opportunity to speak to whomever passes by. Well, the JWs passed by one day and she invited them in. They talked for maybe an hour or so and she was nice and listening to them, interested the entire time. Then all of a sudden she tells them (in Italian), "Bah, you're all full of shit...get the fuck out of my house."

Tears were streaming down my face from laughing.

Naturally.

 

[Dead Winter]

I guess you just had to be there.

 

[Malergion]

Gradirei una certa Italia con la mia Italia, Italia!