The Revenge Of The Return Of The Friday Joke!!
- Thread starter CRUSADER747
- Start date
Sammi951
Member
WILKS said:Can i ask for next time my family tax goes tits up.A few extra grand a year wont go amiss.cheers mate
I'll see what I can do Wilks - but don't tell anybody else will ya?
Sammi951
Member
Yet another crackin' joke there Princess! You're right about the grey dress - the words "Sammi" and "Dress" are rarely seen in the same sentence - grey or otherwise!! lol
Mad Dan McCafferty
Don't Get Mad,Get Waysted
It's a few hours early, but I'm oot all day the morra so here ya go:
The Priest of a small Irish Village was very fond of the 10 chickens and his one cock rooster that he kept behind the parish manse.
One Saturday night, he found his rooster was missing, and as he suspected that cock fighting was going on in the village, he decided, that he, had to say something in his sermon the next day.
So at Mass the next day ha asked the congregation "has anyone got a cock?" All the men stood up!
"No No" he said "Thats not what I meant. Has anyone seen a cock?" All the women stood up!
"No No" He said "Thats not what I meant either! Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up!
"No No" he said "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anyone seen my cock?" All the choirboys stood up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Priest of a small Irish Village was very fond of the 10 chickens and his one cock rooster that he kept behind the parish manse.
One Saturday night, he found his rooster was missing, and as he suspected that cock fighting was going on in the village, he decided, that he, had to say something in his sermon the next day.
So at Mass the next day ha asked the congregation "has anyone got a cock?" All the men stood up!
"No No" he said "Thats not what I meant. Has anyone seen a cock?" All the women stood up!
"No No" He said "Thats not what I meant either! Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up!
"No No" he said "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anyone seen my cock?" All the choirboys stood up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One day Little Susie got her monthly period for the first time in her life. Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny.Little Susie dropped her knickers and showed Johnny what was happening.Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
princess_of_the_night2112
Goddess of Metal
princess_of_the_night2112
Goddess of Metal
WOMAN'S DIARY:
Thursday 20th Sept 2005
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been
shopping
in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him -
thought it
might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter
to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went
somewhere
nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and
didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying.
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in.
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned
the
television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to
bed.
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply.
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my
surprise, we
made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
Cried myself to sleep -I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's
found
someone else.
MAN'S DIARY:
Thursday, 20th September 2005
Arsenal lost. Gutted. Got a shag though.
Thursday 20th Sept 2005
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been
shopping
in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him -
thought it
might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter
to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went
somewhere
nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and
didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying.
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in.
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned
the
television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to
bed.
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply.
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my
surprise, we
made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
Cried myself to sleep -I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's
found
someone else.
MAN'S DIARY:
Thursday, 20th September 2005
Arsenal lost. Gutted. Got a shag though.
