I walk in to the locker room at work this evening and am nearly taken out of my britches by a fetid, almost mephitic, gale of Ghana produced pestilence. In the 6 x 6 cell of nauseating negardom, I quickly threw on my slavish garb as quickly as Krigloch's nuts could attract an internet reply and high tailed it to the adjacent sink where I doused my brow with water to stave the droplets of sweat that had collected around my sculptured grimace. The scent can best be described as a mixture of malodorous mustard and ground pepper. This my friends was no B.O, this was beyond B.O, this was B.B.O!!! One of the newly landed lemurs from the rainforests of Congo, (descendant twice removed from an ape who used to have gnats picked out of his teeth by none other than Dian Fossey) was in the room prior, stinking up the God damn joint with a primal spray known nowhere outside of the Serengeti. After I was struck, he was on his hind legs blocking the 3 foot wide walkway that led from the rear of the room to the egress, so I stalled in the locker room by pretending to tie my shoes, in fear that my arse would accidentally brush up against his caudal appendage and in turn, become the carrier host for whatever micro-cellular organisms were feasting on his lymph nodes with yeast like gaiety.
How can a person be so fucking oblivious to such acridity is beyond my logical reasoning?!? He's an alright bloke, but his amiability does not mean I do not work without fear. Everything he touches becomes a scene out of that episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry's gf's toothbrush falls in the toilet, he fails to tell her, she seeks retribution, and he's left fettered by his own compulsions. Is there anything one can say that could be tactfully conveyed without hurting the Nairobi?
I kid you not, this shit is like being sprayed in the eyes with mace.
How can a person be so fucking oblivious to such acridity is beyond my logical reasoning?!? He's an alright bloke, but his amiability does not mean I do not work without fear. Everything he touches becomes a scene out of that episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry's gf's toothbrush falls in the toilet, he fails to tell her, she seeks retribution, and he's left fettered by his own compulsions. Is there anything one can say that could be tactfully conveyed without hurting the Nairobi?
I kid you not, this shit is like being sprayed in the eyes with mace.
