An Ode to Ultimate Metal
by Ben Dover
Ultimate Metal, who ever says,
That he hath posted in love an hour,
Yet not that processing speed so soon decays,
But that it can teh database devour;
Who will believe me, if I swear
That I have had the plague a year?
Who would not laugh at me, if I should say,
I saw a successful post a day?
Ah, what a trifle is a "reply",
If once into loves hands it come!
All other griefs allow a part
To other posts, and ask themselves but some;
They come to us, but we thus can post not,
UM swallows our patience, and never chaws:
By him, as by chaind shot, whole boards doth die,
UM is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fly.
If twere not so, what did become
Of my post #23345, when I first saw thee?
I brought a thread into the room,
But from the thread no posts came to me:
If it had gone to thee, I know
Mine would have taught thine post to show
More pity unto me: but Love, alas,
At one first database error did shiver it as glass
Yet nothing can to nothing fall,
Nor any board be empty quite,
Therefore I think my breast hath all
Those posts still, though they be not unite;
And now as broken threads doth show
A hundred lesser posteses, so
My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore
But after UM does tease, and I can post no more.