THOR- Beastwomen From the Center of the Earth

[Papa Josh]

THOR and MICK HOFFMAN Beast Women From the Center of the Earth - A Rock Odyssey
Thortoen Records
2004

www.thorcentral.com


1. Break the Ice
2. Beastwomen
3. The Sleeping Giant
4. Darghila
5. Sirens Calling
6. The Sky Land
7. We Are The Panthers
8. Hail Thor
9. Mushroom World
10. Palace Of Gold
11. Cry of the Valkyrie
12. Underground
13. Symphony Of Steel (Special Bonus Track)


First off, I don't know what I was thinking when I took this one on. I'm laughing right now as I write this. I mean, c'mon.... a "rock odyssey" called Beastwomen From the Center of the Earth??? What's worse is the incredible load of useless information I now know about this 50 year old man, thanks to the pile of a bio that was sent to me. The guy got his start on the Merv Griffin show back in 1973, has been Mr. USA and Mr. Canada. He's been electrocuted on stage before,and seen blue lights, or so he claims.... maybe that's why this is soooo bad. But I think not.

Stay far, far, far away from this unless you want phrases like "Break the Ice, I'm chilled to the bone" or "wake the sleeping giant" stuck in your head for weeks. Because that is what's going to happen. No matter what I do, I will not be able to remove this horrible experience from my memory. I'm smoking bowl after bowl right now, but it's no use.

Godawful.

Joey DeMaio should kick this guy's ass.

Rating: 0/10

Papa Josh

 

[Black Winter Day]

Even though you are probably right that this sucks, I still don't know what it sounds like...

 

[Hell Mike]

Let the blood run red!
Let them all be dead!
All those who oppose the Metal Avengerrrrr!

I can't believe mighty Thor released something that actually deserves a 0/10 score

 

[matt99_crew]

I reviewed this too. Its absolutely unlistenable. Remember the 80s novelty song "Fish Heads" (fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads)? Its kinda like the equivalent of that.

 

[Krilons Resa]

 

[NAD]

I reviewed this too. Its absolutely unlistenable. Remember the 80s novelty song "Fish Heads" (fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads)? Its kinda like the equivalent of that.

SOLD!

 

[JayKeeley]

All the imagery around it is very 70's rock opera in a conan/manowar kinda way....but there is something ridiculously (and inadvertently) catchy about it. It's camp, gay, funny, etc. I have to assume the whole thing is a joke making it all a bit Spinal Tap'ish....this might be up there with "shark sandwich".

 

[matt99_crew]

A two word review of this album would be appropriate for this album too!
I understand the whole camp thing, and can go for that sometimes, but this is too damn much. This album made me want to break things...and not in a good way.

 

[JayKeeley]

Hehehe......I have to admit, if there was one redeeming track on all this, it was track #2 (or the first Mick Hoffman song). I dunno, just something quite infectious about it like some itchy skin disease.

I did notice that the Hoffman tracks were slightly better than the Thor tracks, or:

pig snot > pig shit

 

[Papa Josh]

Seriously, in a demented, twisted kind of way, I didn't say what they sounded like because part of me wanted you all to have to hear it for yourselves... Hahahahahaha!!

Share in the misery!!!!!!!

This guy doesn't think of himself as the actors in SPINAL TAP do of themselves. This isn't camp to him, it's meant to be taken seriously. Putting them in the same category as MANOWAR isn't even a laughing matter... those who don't like Manowar should stay away from this album, as it will actually force you to admit that MANOWAR is better, if not make you a fan, even.

 

[Nate The Great]

I got this promos a while back, looked at it, looked at the stupid booklet that came with it, and promptly sold it to the local CD shop (in CA). I didn't even need to listen to it to know it sucked somthing fierce.

 

[lurch70]

none of you guys remember this guy from the 80's ???
he released a few records like this back then also ... pure crap

actually check out the long ass discography here:
http://www.thorcentral.com/mp_redesign/html/discography.html

 

[Ayeka]

He's got some cool songs actually...