Enemies of reality TV are the most fun when they try to take on the talent shows, leaping from one flimsy foothold to another like a beleaguered computer game creature on a bonus level. First, they'll complain that these kids are judged not on singing talent but on looks; when you point out that the elimination rounds, week after merciless week, ensure that the voice is very definitely the thing, they change tack and complain that these shows are just about singing talent, not personality.
Point out that the cult of personality performers has saddled us with a popular music culture in which the blatantly played-out but all-importantly pushy Robbie Williams and Madonna are king and queen of the wretched heap, and the contrarian will complain that "manufactured" TV youngsters are parasites, draining record labels of funds that could otherwise be invested in "original" talent. Add that these acts are evaluated on a strict sale or return basis, and spontaneously combust if they're rubbish (see Hear'Say), as opposed to having EMI chuck £80m at them to hang around clogging up the charts for the next 20 years, and they'll come back with a nifty, "Oh yeah - they don't last, do they?"Ask why how long a group lasts is a measure of its merit (Clash v Rolling Stones), and they'll remember they've got something important to do.
All my points are sound here, but the most impressive is the fact that, while "manufactured" bands come and go, the likes of Bono, Sting, Madonna and Elton John have hung on in there for about a century between them, making popular music little more than a middle-aged lifestyle accessory. Maybe I'm flighty, but when it comes to the lively arts, I find stagnation much more sinister than change. Let's get this straight: all entertainment is manufactured. By its very nature, there is no authenticity in any of it - that's why it's called entertainment! If it were authentic, it would be called facts. All entertainers go into it for the half-assed "glory", to be bigger and better than the hoi polloi - if politics is showbiz for ugly people, showbiz is politics for silly people. Entertainers try to hide their politician-type lust for attention and influence by painting their caterwauling as a "calling", with themselves members of a holy order obeying their destiny, not the scrabbling desperados they are. When you come across a true Voice - a Callas, Sinatra or Fitzgerald - this is perfectly plausible: they were born to sing, as a bird is to fly. But Madonna's or Robbie's larynx touched by the hand of God? Don't make me laugh.
Reality TV is about deconstructing fame - it is a cheap, cheerful and challenging antidote to the slimy, stultifying nepotism currently colonising even the vagabond vocations. We should be far more worried about the effortless success of Jade Jagger than with that of Jade Goody, and the fact that the creative professions, which once provided a rare path to fame and fortune for talented outsiders, are increasingly about who your father is.
To be against reality TV is to be against reality, against change, against life itself. It's to be scared of the truth about the relationship between creativity and capitalism. If you want to make a fool of yourself believing in the Easter Bunny or the myth of "authentic" God-given talent in popular music, dream on. But pipe down, do, and watch your costume dramas like a good swot. And let the rest of us enjoy another year of the ongoing celebration of human spirit and frailty that is reality TV.
Point out that the cult of personality performers has saddled us with a popular music culture in which the blatantly played-out but all-importantly pushy Robbie Williams and Madonna are king and queen of the wretched heap, and the contrarian will complain that "manufactured" TV youngsters are parasites, draining record labels of funds that could otherwise be invested in "original" talent. Add that these acts are evaluated on a strict sale or return basis, and spontaneously combust if they're rubbish (see Hear'Say), as opposed to having EMI chuck £80m at them to hang around clogging up the charts for the next 20 years, and they'll come back with a nifty, "Oh yeah - they don't last, do they?"Ask why how long a group lasts is a measure of its merit (Clash v Rolling Stones), and they'll remember they've got something important to do.
All my points are sound here, but the most impressive is the fact that, while "manufactured" bands come and go, the likes of Bono, Sting, Madonna and Elton John have hung on in there for about a century between them, making popular music little more than a middle-aged lifestyle accessory. Maybe I'm flighty, but when it comes to the lively arts, I find stagnation much more sinister than change. Let's get this straight: all entertainment is manufactured. By its very nature, there is no authenticity in any of it - that's why it's called entertainment! If it were authentic, it would be called facts. All entertainers go into it for the half-assed "glory", to be bigger and better than the hoi polloi - if politics is showbiz for ugly people, showbiz is politics for silly people. Entertainers try to hide their politician-type lust for attention and influence by painting their caterwauling as a "calling", with themselves members of a holy order obeying their destiny, not the scrabbling desperados they are. When you come across a true Voice - a Callas, Sinatra or Fitzgerald - this is perfectly plausible: they were born to sing, as a bird is to fly. But Madonna's or Robbie's larynx touched by the hand of God? Don't make me laugh.
Reality TV is about deconstructing fame - it is a cheap, cheerful and challenging antidote to the slimy, stultifying nepotism currently colonising even the vagabond vocations. We should be far more worried about the effortless success of Jade Jagger than with that of Jade Goody, and the fact that the creative professions, which once provided a rare path to fame and fortune for talented outsiders, are increasingly about who your father is.
To be against reality TV is to be against reality, against change, against life itself. It's to be scared of the truth about the relationship between creativity and capitalism. If you want to make a fool of yourself believing in the Easter Bunny or the myth of "authentic" God-given talent in popular music, dream on. But pipe down, do, and watch your costume dramas like a good swot. And let the rest of us enjoy another year of the ongoing celebration of human spirit and frailty that is reality TV.
