>
>
>
>
>The following is an actual question given on a
>University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one
>student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues,
>via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
>enjoying it as well.
>
>
>Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
>endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
>using
>Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)
>or some variant.
>
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
>in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
>and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
>assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
>souls are leaving.
>
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
>the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
>religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
>go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
>people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
>souls go to Hell.
>
>
>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
>the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
>the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
>in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
>volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
>at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
>will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
>until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>So which is it?
>
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
>my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
>with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
>night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
>exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is
>that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
>more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
>proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
>Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>
>
>
>The following is an actual question given on a
>University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one
>student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues,
>via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
>enjoying it as well.
>
>
>Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
>endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
>using
>Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)
>or some variant.
>
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
>in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
>and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
>assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
>souls are leaving.
>
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
>the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
>religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
>go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
>people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
>souls go to Hell.
>
>
>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
>the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
>the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
>in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
>volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
>at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
>will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
>increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
>until Hell freezes over.
>
>
>So which is it?
>
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
>my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
>with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
>night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
>exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is
>that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
>more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
>proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
>Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
That was a hilarious read! Hell, tha was awesome!
