What do these five items have in common?

[NAD]

Oh, come on, you can't tease like that without relating the tale in full... that's even worse than the furry boots!

Long story short, a couple of friends of mine chased my ass down one night and kicked me in the nuts. I ended up in somebody's driveway and yelled MY NAAAAAAAAADS!!!!!!!!! over and over again, waking up most of the neighborhood. That and the fact that nothing clever rhymed with Adrian (Danny was Spammy, Joe was Ho, Chris was Piss, Doug was Crud), and NADrian was born. *takes a bow*

I'm still shooting for paid music journalism as a career

Amen to that. Now let's hear your tunes.